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Old 01-25-2013, 11:14 PM   #1
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bobylou HB User
I have been getting wrong the whole time

I have been with my 24 years old wife for 2 years, married for 1 year with a beautiful 6 month old daughter and things are not going well. She has a history of insecurity and was raised by parents who abused drugs. When we met she shared her struggles and her desire to improve herself. But the next day it seems she forgets about what we talked about or the solutions we can up with. After one year of trying to help her overcome some of her struggles i found out that she as been seeing my advices as hurtful and she resents me for that and needs space. she wants to go to her mothers for a while to try to overcome the resentment she has for me. She also said that the time off is for her to work on her struggles too. So to some degree she recognize that she has not been trying. I agree to the fact that i have been harsh to her but i was only doing so because I was getting tired of reminder or discussing about her problems over and over without her trying to apply or try to change things. She blames the fact that she could not improve on her past. Now i am at the point where i realized that when a women asks for help she doesn't necessarily want to hear a solution or a reminder of what is holding her back. So am i trying to become more of a passive party and let her take charge of her issues. To me this doesn't seem like how a couple should operate. But at this point she doesn't feel comfortable enough to openly share about her struggles or emotions. After we had a good conversion on expectations and how i will better myself in avoiding being harsh, she is acting in ways that make me think she is no more interest in this marriage; even though she says the opposite. She tells me she wants me to start dating her again and to prove to her after hurting her that i will be willing to fight for her. I have tried to spend more time with her for instance but she most of the times decide last minute to go out with friends and comes back after 2 am. At this point i don't know what to do. does she need more space, if so why isn't she at least being considerate enough to let me know she will be going out with friends in advance. I receive just an hour notice before she has to go out or sometimes i find out only when i text her? what should i do?

 
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confused and nerves!!!what to do?, relationship advice, separation anxiety



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