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Old 02-01-2013, 04:37 PM   #1
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Subtle ways to nudge moving in with boyfriend?

We have been together about a year now and everything is great. We are going to be 27 years old soon. There is no question of whether or not he wants me to move in, because he asked me about a month ago if I wanted to, and I declined because his younger brother still lives there. He and his brother moved into his grandmother's house about two months before he and I began dating. His younger brother is 23 and is a nice guy and has a girlfriend of his own. She does not live there. My boyfriend plans to buy this house off of his grandma in a few months, and the younger brother has agreed to get his own apartment or move back in with his parents at their mansion when he buys it, and they have no problem with that whatsoever, so there is no tension or anything with him leaving.

I am not one to push things with guys, most of my friends are men and I hear all the horror stories they have with ex and current girlfriends about them being pushy with moving in, engagements, etc., so I am well aware that the best way to make a man run is to be pushy with him. At the same time, I WILL NOT move in as long as his brother is there. It would be completely weird for me (and probably for his brother) because my boyfriend works mon-fri evenings, and his brother works mon-fri daytime, so he, and sometimes his girlfriend are there every night and I would feel uncomfortable, as well as feel bad because they deserve their privacy as well without me being there, especially while my bf is at work. My bf totally understands and is not being pushy with me moving in either.

I am just getting tired of driving back and forth every day, sometimes twice a day around mine and my bf's work schedule (it's a 1/2 hour drive one way from my house to his). Maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm ready to move in and settle in, because my life right now (no one to blame but myself) consists of being at my house for a few hours, then back to his house to spend the night, then to work, then to my house, then back to his house, etc. I told him how this is a pain in the A** after a while, and he gets it. I spend pretty much every night with him. Being that his younger brother has agreed to move out, has no issues with it, neither do the parents, and there is no money issue here for anyone, then why won't he push his brother to move out sooner (before he buys the house in a couple months?) I know I could easily ask him, but I don't want to be a nag. I'm thinking since I basically spend every night with him now, then what's the reasoning for him to push his brother along? So maybe spending only 3-4 nights a week with him will move it along without me having to say anything, he tells me how he absolutely hates it and has a hard time sleeping on the one night a week that I'm not there. Should I do this or just have things keep going the way they are? He always says how he can't wait to buy the house so I can move in, but I don't see why his little brother can't just move out now. I'm tired of not having time to relax unless it;s with him before he has to go to work. In the best interest of out relationship, do I push things along subtly, or bite the bullet and wait a couple more months?

Last edited by cmill32; 02-01-2013 at 04:40 PM.

 
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:45 PM   #2
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Re: Subtle ways to nudge moving in with boyfriend?

I think it's simply time to have a new conversation with your boyfriend, saying that you have changed your mind and would like very much to move in so that you can spend more time together, and ask him what he intends to do about his brother.

 
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