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Old 02-04-2013, 01:09 PM   #1
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Sister Won't Talk to Me or Mom

She just turned 40 and has been jealous of me and I think depressed for several years. She won't get help and blames me for all of her problems. She has verbally abused me (and my Mother) and seems to derive pleasure from saying whatever hurts me the most. I have helped her financially and other ways and she claims I never help her. I think she is mentally ill, but it hurts that she wants nothing to do with me.
Besides the usual teenage fights, we haven't had legitimate fights in our adult years, just her continued resentment towards me. I think she's partially narcissistic. Should I try to reach out or wait for her to? It's so painful not to have a sister anymore.

 
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:13 AM   #2
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Re: Sister Won't Talk to Me or Mom

count your blessings that she's not talking to you!
you or your mother don't need the verbal abuse
she does sound mentally ill and that's not something you can fix.
stay away from her and you will be fine.....she doesn't sound like much of a sister anyway, so what are you losing?

 
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Old 02-05-2013, 02:14 PM   #3
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Re: Sister Won't Talk to Me or Mom

Step away from the situation and allow time to settle things down. I would never tell you to give up on your Sister, or give up hope. Your Sister is obviously in pain, too. Has she ever been for a diagnosis of her mental condition or been to counseling? Medication?

Without knowing her side of the situation, I can't say she's not justified in her anger. She is fighting for something or because of something. If it is a mental disorder, then I would think there would be more certainty about that and her history from you. I kinda feel like you are suspecting that at this point.

Maybe she has a right to be jealous? I know my Mom always had a favorite daughter and if it had not been for my supportive relationship with my G'Mother, no telling where I would be today. This is not based on my "feelings", my siblings and am have always discussed it and agreed on all the details. Labeling it "favorites" is easiest, but I think it was just loving differently, as we were all different personalities.

Off track, sorry. Take time away, examine yourself and your mistakes. Try to figure out how your behavior has affected the situation and what you could possibly do different or better in the future. Define acceptable boundaries for the two of you. Mom is responsible for her relationship with Sis and that is between them. Totally different dynamics as you know.

Wishing you all the best!

Last edited by Waiting2011; 02-05-2013 at 02:50 PM.

 
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