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Old 02-09-2013, 08:48 AM   #1
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Freak-out Phase #2 ?! Do you think he'll see me the way he once did again?

I know it's long, but please bare with me. Please help, I could really use it. I would greatly appreciate if you took the time to read this and advise me on this situation with answers to my burning questions:

We dated 6 mths ago.
After the 3rd, he went thru a freak-out stage because of a misunderstanding.
2 mths later, he texted me saying he misses me and wants to meet.
Later explained why the sudden interest in having to meet that day: He hoped to start the new year with me.
Everything was going great.
He had told me I was truly amazing, had strong feelings for me, wanted me to meet his dad, loved my cooking, cooked for me, sleepovers/cuddle all the time (sex once), wanted to see me everyday after work, and mentioned wanting to grow together in every aspect - within the month of trying again.

Then things turned for the worst.
He had informed me of this chic he used to see was flying in to see him for his bday + a wk (he wasn't up for it), and asked for my input. My response was "should I be worried?", he assured me not. I let it be, but didn't like the way I felt being pushed to the side to give her time.
After she left, I let him know (in person) how I felt and that I questioned how I should feel about him, and the words
" I just don't want you to expect me to have strong feelings for you" slipped. He responded "I don't expect anything from you, but your honesty". End of conversation.

Awkwardness grew.. Little-no texts/calls as days went by.
I held my tongue for a couple of days before I felt compelled to tell him via text that "the truth is.. I do have feelings for you".
He replied, "I can pick you up tom. "
Not having seen it as a question, but merely a statement I left it with no response. *My wrong #1*

Tom. came and bc I'm busy studying for an exam, throughout the day I put my phone on sleep mode (he knows this) and I did not get the chance to confirm meeting. *My wrong #2*
The time came around where I knew he'd definitely be out of work I gave him a half hr, waiting on his call. No call.

Bc he was avoiding my call and my texts- which went through as texts not imessages, but usually happens if he receives messages at certain areas in his apt- felt as though something was up, and thought he was mad at my no response to his text and so I sent him a text "I'm coming over". And did. *My wrong #3*

Prior to this, one night we did have a fight because I had supposedly made him go crazy for leaving him hanging on a text with no response. He asked that I do not make him go crazy again. Which is why I felt the need to drive.
Because he didn't reply with a "no", made me think that he wasn't at all bothered by it, but still mad.
Being that he didn't mind seeing me even at the most inopportune times (and even insisted more often than not), I was comfortable enough not to see it as a problem if I came by, having already told him.

What it came down to???.. There was no avoidance on his part.
He went to the spa after work (hence, why texts didn't go thru as imessages).
When he got his phone from the locker, he called and told me everything: how I didn't respond to last night's text, so he made plans for the spa, that I'm freaking him out, and that he'd call me tom. No call.
So I sent him a text the day after to justify my actions and added that I'd make it easy for him with a goodbye. No reply. And haven't contacted him since.

I really had just wanted to see him and hug him that night and clear the air because things hadn't felt right.
Honestly, do u think he will ever pass freak-out phase #2 and reach out to me?? Do u think the interest in me is still there? Do guys generally give up after freaking out a second time with a girl, with no intention of working things out?

I'm at a lost and this man was my friend from the start. I miss him.

 
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Old 02-10-2013, 12:47 AM   #2
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Re: Freak-out Phase #2 ?! Do you think he'll see me the way he once did again?

Life is too short to spend it waiting out somebody's sulks and snits. Go and find a grown up to date. He is much too much work for very little return. Sera

 
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:09 AM   #3
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Re: Freak-out Phase #2 ?! Do you think he'll see me the way he once did again?

It is very easy to get misunderstandings in text messages, so no one should get upset over that. Sounds to me like he withheld himself from the relationship until he got what he wanted from you, i.e. telling him you had feelings for him. Not good. I don't think it's a healthy relationship. I think you should just move on.

 
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:56 PM   #4
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Smile Freak out phase ?? Dating

Update: He texted me back within minutes with: Just give me some time

This was after having justified my doing that night (of coming over) for simply missing him and stating that I'd like to continue to strengthen our friendship, if he wants to; and if not sure or doesn't wish to that I'd understand.
Guys please tell me how I should take this response to mean.

Some background: We dated 6 mths ago. I was going through a break up with someone I had been with for 5yrs... So, he was quite patient (being together almost everyday).. it took me 2mths to finally see him as a bit more than my teddy bear; I took the plunge.. was able to hold his hand and (days later) kiss him.
After the 3rd mth, he went thru a freak-out period because of a misunderstanding.
2 mths later, he texted me saying he misses me and wants to meet.
Later explained why the sudden interest in having to meet that day: He hoped to start the new year with me.
Everything was going great.
He had told me I was truly amazing, had strong feelings for me, wanted me to meet his dad, loved my cooking, cooked for me, sleepovers/cuddle all the time (sex once), wanted to see me everyday during and/or after work, and mentioned wanting to grow together in every aspect - within the month of trying again.

Then.. [i explained in the first post what happened]

Since my last text, reassuring him, "you can have all the time in the world you want. I just wanted to know if you were still here", I have not reached out to him. It's been about a month since I've last seen him. Perhaps, a little more. I've been quite busy myself.
I wanted closure, which is why I wanted/had hoped he'd answer with either "yes", "no", or "not sure", but he didn't. I just very simply want to lock all thoughts of him up in a box and push it back to the furthest reaches of my mind.
So, please go ahead diminish all my hopes of seeing him again, if there is none.

Thank you.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-22-2013 at 01:21 PM. Reason: It isn't necessary to start a new thread to continue the same question. Threads merged here. Thanks.

 
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Old 02-22-2013, 03:12 PM   #5
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Re: Freak out phase ?? Dating

The whole situation sounds like he was being a big baby, to be honest. He was getting mad at you for stupid reasons. There's nothing that you did that necessitated his behavior. Given that, I'd say you dodged a bullet here. I can't understand why you would want to be with a guy like that who gets so upset over such minuscule nothing reasons. That's not a guy who is boyfriend material, not for anything long term.

One of the biggest questions we have in situations like these where people just seem to fall off the face of the earth is, WHY? But more often than not, we never get that answer, or even if we get some kind of answer it's still not good enough to fully explain. So I really think this is one of those situations where you're not going to get the full story and this guy, for all of his little tantrums over missed texts, is not worth any more of the space he is occupying inside your head right now. If I were you I'd write him off and look for some new adventures with someone who isn't such a big baby like this guy is.

 
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