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Old 02-14-2013, 11:43 AM   #1
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I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

(I'm so sorry this is so long!)

Basically, I've been best friends with my friend for around 3 years. We knew each other from school, and in the last 2 years of school we became really close. I found that we got a long so well, had a lot in common and we spent most days together. In the final year of school she began to make friends with another girl who I also knew. They became really close but we never really had a 3 way friendship, as I was always left out around them. The other girl also had her own friendship group so she spent most of her time with them, but outside of school and all through the summer they were together. I didn't mind so much at this time, I actually had a boyfriend of a year, so I always had someone else besides her to see. We started college recently and I just found myself really needing to find new people, me and my boyfriend have split up too and through out the whole thing my bestfriend didn't even care, she never bothered to ask how I was or try and be supportive even though we were together for a year. I've realised now that she's completely opposite to me, she's anti social to an extent, doesn't enjoy going out in big groups, going to parties, having fun, talking about guys, having boyfriends - normal teenage things. She's more to herself, inside, one bestfriend kind of person. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, but I've just realised it's not for me. I often enjoy my own company and would rather sit in and read a book etc then go out, but I'd like to have the option to go out too. As college has started she doesn't bother with me much anymore, and whenever we're together she just talks about her and this other girl all the time, to the point when it's just annoying because I'm not involved. Worst thing is the other girl is lovely! and me and her actually still get along great. I've also started to notice all the things in my bestfriend that I really dislike, she can be very shallow, uptight, judgemental and bitchy. She has a high self importance and is extremely arrogant, the kind of person who wants all the attention on her during a conversation, not to mention that she tries hysterically hard to impress guys (even though she's not even interested in them) and she tries to hard to make people laugh, to the point where she looks stupid. I know every person has their flaws, I have plenty but I guess over time all the little things that she does have started to drive me insane and being in her company when all she does is go on about how great a friend this other girl is has just made me realise I don't like her real personality, but she's the kind of person that if I leave she will make my whole life hell. She's exceptionally dominating and whenever we have fallen out before she's turned people against me and made me look like the bad person.

I've recently made friends with a new girl at college, now that I'm on my own again without a boyfriend I finally feel free to go out and have some fun. She's really lovely and has a big group of mixed friends and they're just the right balance of social and interesting. But I still share lessons with my bestfriend even though we barely talk anymore or when we do it's just awkward. She also has a habit of posting indirect stuff about me on social networking sites and she just makes me feel terrible. What should I do about this? Do I tell her why I'm annoyed (I'm constantly left out and she always cancels on me for this other girl, and I can't deal with her arrogance) or do I just drift apart from her? I don't want it to be awkward in lessons though? Help?

 
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Old 02-14-2013, 06:32 PM   #2
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Re: I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

Many times we do drift apart as we get older. We all change to some degree. I would say dont create drama. Just let it go and naturally drift apart.

 
Old 02-14-2013, 08:18 PM   #3
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Re: I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

Change her status from bestfriend to friend and let it go. You may reconnect in the future, but as Metalzombie says, friends do drift apart. This is not the last time this will happen. Sera.

 
Old 02-14-2013, 08:59 PM   #4
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Re: I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

Yeah I'd let the relationship drift apart. Then eventually unfriendly her. People put too much into the fb thing. You can also when you post status stuff do an exception and leave her name out. Just drift off. Cathy

 
Old 02-15-2013, 06:25 AM   #5
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Re: I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalzombie View Post
Many times we do drift apart as we get older. We all change to some degree. I would say dont create drama. Just let it go and naturally drift apart.
Agree. Be thankful for the good times you have had and treasure what was. You never know, time apart may help you remember what was important in your friendship. You paths may cross again in the future when you need a friend from the past.

 
Old 02-15-2013, 11:37 AM   #6
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Re: I'm starting to hate my bestfriend

Thank you! I'm going to wait it out, with less and less contact day by day, I would like to still stay civil as sadly we're seated together in several lessons so I don't want any bad air between us..

 
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