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brokenbarlow 04-24-2013 01:57 PM

sister
 
My sister hates me and I want it to stop, she is 22 and i am 17, around 10 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer, I had to go up to the hospital and stay over nights my mum came and stayed with me, this is the problem. I think she resents me for taking her mum away from her and she is always lying and claiming that she brought up my little brother (now 12) because I had taken mum away. I need her to stop because my thoughts are becoming more and more apparent, she shouldn't have stayed with me and just left me at the moment I needed her just to be with my brother and sister, I am feeling like the villain in all of it. I am sick of feeling hated, she ruins relationships of mine and has never liked me being happy because I had cancer and as a child got all of the attention from my mum. Help me! I don't know if I can live or whether the only way for her to be happy is if I go, leave and kill myself.

rosequartz 04-24-2013 02:33 PM

Re: sister
 
well you certainly aren't going to kill yourself to make her happy!
Listen honey, you are a survivor.....you fought CANCER......as a child, no less....You are a strong strong girl with your whole life ahead of you. Don't be sad about your sister...there was nothing you could have done.....you got sick, your mom was there for you.....the way it should be, end of story!
you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are not the villian. In time maybe she will realize how wrong she is, and maybe she won't......but don't let it affect your state of mind for one minute! you are a survivor! you can certainly weather this storm!
:angel:

pendulum 04-25-2013 01:40 AM

Re: sister
 
I subscribe to the words of Rosequartz. Actually, I am not sure if your sister really hates you. Maybe she thinks she does, maybe she even says she does, but deep down it is a mixture of feelings which may include jealousy and admiration. I know it may be difficult for you, but try not to take her "hatred" personally and please find ways to be kind and tolerant with her. Don't let your attitude and behaviour fuel her distorted feelings, if you see what I mean.

brokenbarlow 04-28-2013 12:15 PM

sister 2
 
i previously posted about my sister she has now found out why and that i am having counselling because of her, she has started to scare me and i am scared of myself reacting badly to her, i didnt want her to know, this is just going to make it worse.

Thisby 04-28-2013 08:32 PM

Re: sister
 
I'm figuring your sister was 12 when you were diagnosed with cancer, so she was also very young and she's obviously not gotten over it. It's a shame your parents weren't able to deal with the jealously she must have felt at all the attention you were getting. It's a very immature reaction to your situation, but at 12 you can't blame her.

But you can blame her for holding on to it all these years. She needs to let it go, it's [B]not your fault[/B].

How long were you in treatment for? And how does your mother treat you now?

BigRed54 04-29-2013 08:22 AM

Re: sister
 
If you are truly scared of your sister, you need to confide in your counselor. The counselor has a duty to protect you.

brokenbarlow 04-29-2013 01:25 PM

Re: sister
 
my treatment was for around 12 months, and me and my mum are still really close because of it.

Thisby 04-30-2013 06:33 AM

Re: sister
 
At first I thought you were speaking about your mom's behaviour in the past tense, but now it sounds like it's ongoing which is a little different. Your mom shouldn't have continued to favour you after your health had returned. Or at least not to the point that your sister felt rejected for it.

But again, this isn't your fault, and parents aren't perfect. Your sister is obviously jealous and feels left out and it's easier to blame you than your mother.

I have to ask, how do you feel about your mom being closer to you than your sister?

brokenbarlow 04-30-2013 11:23 AM

Re: sister
 
i feel bad but it isnt mum favouring me, she has acted badly towards my mum for years so mum isnt to blame

Kszan 04-30-2013 11:54 AM

Re: sister
 
Can you limit the amount of interaction you have with your sister? And what do you mean that you're afraid of her? Afraid that she will harm you physically or just afraid of more arguing? If its just fear of arguing then all you need to do is walk away and don't get into it with her. If you're afraid she is going to physically harm you then you should make arrangements to not live with her and not be around her as much as possible.

timido 05-04-2013 11:45 PM

Re: sister
 
I wonder why your sister can't sympathize you after all that you went through. Don't bother feeling bad about she not treating you right because right now you have to focus on yourself. Maybe she is just jealous of you.


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