I have a really difficult situation and wants helpful answers no bashing please....I started dating this man i met online a year ago. We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary...There has been some weird senarios in our "ship but idk but to do....He says he got a divorce, yet i cant find it online. I have NEVER been to his home, I JUST met one of his kids not too long ago., I moved 2 hours away from friends and family to be with this man. He says his 'ship w EX is just like this...she abandoned all her kids has 2 bio with him so he has custody and the last 2 kids she had he says are NOT biologically his YET he claims them and takes care of them and gave his last name. His EX lost her place to live in SEPT of last year and bc my BF is a nice man he allowed his EX and her BF to move in w him. IDK if he is still honestly married to her i ask and he swears he is not she has a live in BF also so im confused and do not knw what to believe or do., I trust him w everything for some reason YET my gut says something is not right. I have been in abusive relationships in past so IDK if my guard is just up or if there something more to this.
It's really difficult to say anything about this man just from reading your piece. I am wondering if a polygraph (lie detection) would be useful in this case. Anyway, it sounds like you are simply worrying way too much about him. Those worries are absorbing you. If he treats you alright, if he never stands you up, if you feel that he is committed, if you guys have common goals, then take it slow, let the worries go. Maybe he didn't take you to his home because of his ex and her bf. But again, why are you dating this man? Do you want to marry him? Do you think you will be able to cope with his four kids? Yes, this could be a red flag, if you ask me.
Do you know where he lives? I think if you have doubts I'd be inclined to just show up one night at his house and see how he reacts. I think it's strange that you haven't been to his house if he truly is divorced and his ex and bf are living there. If his ex has moved on to another relationship, and she has her bf in the same house, around the kids, then you being there shouldn't be a problem either right? If you did show up and he got uncomfortable and antsy I would suspect he's hiding something.
If you show up and get invited in then it gives you a good opportunity to check things with his "ex" etc, just casually not interrogating but if it's all on the up and up then her story will match with his. I'd even be inclined to show up when you know he isn't going to be there, say you are his girlfriend, ask who she is and what their situation is etc, you'll find out pretty quick if they are still together.
1 year and never been to his home is already fishy to me. If your relationship is serious enough to the point of you moving closer to be with him, then why hasn't he invited you into his home yet? Introduced you to his children? He's obviously hiding something.
Last edited by Robocat; 08-29-2013 at 05:52 AM.