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Old 09-01-2004, 12:11 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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Infowanter HB User
Whats wrong with ME PLS HELP

Hey people. First off a bit of history. I have cystic fibrosis (very bad lung disease often fatal), and diabetes.

I am 27 yrs old and still live with my parents do to my health.
In the past three our four years I have gotten to where most of my life is spent in front of a TV or on a computer. I go out about three times a week, that is OUTSIDE my house ... this is to see my brother or to run errands or go to a college class i have.

Over the years I have developed some things that are scaring the crap outta me.
Things like some Obssessive Compulisive stuff for example,
When I see anything on the tv that is bad to my religious beliefs, i HAVE to ask god to forgive who it was... even tho they are on tv...
I have to pray at night and make sure I Pray about EVERTHING like even things i know cant happen, like every disease being cured... if i dont im get the idea that someoen i know might get one....
This behavior comes and goes and it seems I can make it go away.

Heres another thing...... I CANT STOP DAYDREAMING or making situations in my head..everything causes it.... something said on tv.... something I hear on the radio.... a label i read .. a single thought that goes in my head..
Ill end up talking to myself or just talking in my head not really to myself but just to nothing as if i was having a conversations with someone... kinda like this.. heres an example..

Ill think about a dr or going to talk to one..
I start saying things like this in my head.
I have these symtoms.... blah blah.. kinda like im talking TO the doctor...
but I know hes not there.... and I dont see or hear him like im flippin or anything.. but my head is kinda fuzzy and I cant concentrate on the present.

Its gotten so bad now that I cannot control it... everything casues me to talk and talk and talk in my head... I cannot even watch tv withought doing it. Sometimes its a true daydeam but often its me in sort of a daze where the present is like where im not focusing on it.. but what im talking about...

WHAT THE HELL is wrong with me?????????????
I also have gotten to where I cant feel emotions anymore at all.
everything is just another thought or sentence in my head.
I cant focus on simple things like enjoing the weather..... my mind feels fuzy even when looking at the sky...

Its like I have no concentration or emotion.
I feel bored all the time.
I feel like doing nothing I have no motivation.

Then I feel really sad sometimes.... or frustrated... but i CANT feel happy or calm EVER.
Its hard to cry even... my body doesnt want to let me.

I know alot of this is me being alone all the time with no company maybe.
But what are the clinical terms for this?
Ive gotten to where im telling myself i am crazy.
I am going to get help for it next week from a therapist but I am going nuts wondering what is wrong with me
Pls help me someone

 
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Old 09-01-2004, 11:55 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 109
nicolas HB User
Re: Whats wrong with ME PLS HELP

Hello.

I'm sorry you've been having such a difficult time. I can sympathise with a lot of what you wrote. From what you have written here it could be depression that is causing you to introvert like this and live in your head. As far as clinical terms, there are cognitive behavioral terms for some of your behavior but I don't remember them off hand ... I'll write back later if I can find them.

Start to make changes in your life. Going to a therapist is a good idea.

I can tell you what works for me. I take a walk everyday in the park, I meditate, and I pray. These help me find a home in the moment. Also seeing friends, even when you don't necessarily feel like it, is an imporatant thing to do.

Don't despair! You're already working on getting better by asking for help. Now you have to struggle on to fight what is seperating you from God, who wants us to live joyfully.

 
Old 09-01-2004, 01:11 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7
BigPete HB User
Re: Whats wrong with ME PLS HELP

Hey there I can also relate to what your going through. I had to leave work today, for similiar reasons. I also feel emotionless, and out of my body. I pray all the time, and I hear strange things, and I sometimes think there is something inside of me. I know it's tough, and I too really just want to be alone, and spend most my time that way. If I can give u one piece of advice it would be to picture a great big red stop sign in your head, and when anything comes up that you don't want to be there, you say no! Hold your hand out and say no! I have trouble myself with this, but I heard it's pretty helpful. God bless you and I wish you well.

 
Old 09-17-2004, 08:56 AM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 5
Vintersorg HB User
Re: Whats wrong with ME PLS HELP

Why is it that most people in this forum are religious? I think I have Schitzophrenia, because of many reasons (lack of emotion, voices, stuff like that) but my religious stance is kinda different...I believe i have 2 distinct personalities...one that is Athiest, and one that loves Satan...I tend to go with the Satan belief more often, because the long i live, the more im dying to feel the pain of the eternal inferno...You might ask yourself *** is this guy talking about....well take a look at the world today...everywhere you look there is war, hate, death, disease, famine, and utter disrepct for human life...This is HELL!!

 
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