HELP PLEASE!"altered sense of self symptoms"..feeling possessed
i posted hear a couple times before about 2 weeks ago, but i accidentally got myself banned because i posted an adress for another forum (i guess i should have read through all the rules first...)
I was diagnosed with Schiz about a year ago.
I think because of some stress i've been having, it has triggered my symptoms to get worse. I just turned 18 and moved out of my mom;s house and in with my boyfriend. I am not adjusting well and i miss my mom a lot. Im under a lot of pressure to get a job right now, but i dont think i can do that...so im trying to get on SSI, but i dont even know where to start...everything is so hard to do.
anyway...lately, i have had lots of my body hallucinations come back even more strongly (altered sense of self i guess it's actually called)
i feel like i am possessed by other people/spirits, or like other people are in my body with me. And i constantly feel all distorted or seperate from my body.
I feel these people hovering in back of my left shoulder. This feeling wont go away. I keep "pawing" behind my shoulder to try and get them to go away. I hear their voices inside me (like thought insertion) and sometimes i hear them internally, like as if someone has implanted a speaker in my ear.
They laugh at me, comment on things, argue with me, taunt me, and say things very fast and strange.
I'm also having more trouble than i use to with my thought. My mind goes blank constantly, and my words slur together in my head or get mixed up, or my mind gets caught like a broken record (I'll get stuck on one word, for example "paper" and just keep repeating it over and over and over to myself. and i cant control it.
my paranoia has gotten much worse. Im real afraid that the president and spies are after me, such and such. I get messages from the TV and lights...like the headlights on cars, Everyone is trying to make me feel horrible and break me even more.
Hollywood wont leave me alone! i cant take this..they are all so stupid and trying to torment me
and lately i've been thinkking again that the corners in the wall and cracks in certain things are a kind of opening to another world/demension...i feel like i need to figure out how to open the opening with my mind.
i keep thinking there is nothing wrong! like im imagining all this and i do truly believe my "delusions" it's just everyone else thinks im crazy.
But then there will be a moment when i feel like i really need help and i need to go back to the hospital. I feel like this right now! i need to go to the hospital. But im afraid to...it will worry and stress out everyone who cares about me. They all think i've been doing ok because i've been hiding this stuff from them so well.
help me please.
i am not currently on any antipsychotic becuase of the bad side effects i've had, but i am on antidepressants.
HELP:..i have been having an on and of sore throat for a while now. today i took some cough syrup thinking it might help because it was especially bad today. After i took it, a while later i looked at the back of the bottle and it said do not take if you are taking any MAOI medications, so i went on the internet and looked up the meds im taking to see if they were MAOI's..luckily they aren't..they are SSRI
but i also found warnings all over these websites saying "do not take cough syrup with Dextromethorphan in it if you have Schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder."
I took only a very small amount of the stuff, (less than a tablespoon) about 6 hours ago. I didn't experience anything weird until about 30 minutes ago. I am feeling more possessed and having more voices in my head and my heart is beating real fast...im real worried now HELP PLEASE
what should i do? should i go to a doctor?
Re: HELP PLEASE!"altered sense of self symptoms"..feeling possessed
It sounds like you're having a really tough time of it. I feel for you. If you feel that you can't cope with how you are feeling, maybe the best thing would be (like you say) to go back into hospital. You say that going back in would upset your family -- maybe it would. But I'm sure that they ultimately want what's best for you, and if that means getting more treatment in hospital, then...
Anyway, I really hope that things improve for you soon.