A symptom of schizophrenia? - Schizophrenia Message Board

curiouslearner · 07-05-2005, 06:27 PM

I am worried that I may have schizophrenia which is why I'm posting here on this board. The main reason that I am wondering if I have schizophrenia is because I talk to myself. I know that everybody talks to themselves, but the way I do it seems abnormal to me. I find myself having conversations in my head the way I would have them with people but it's as if I'm actually living inside of my head. I want to make it clear that I don't hear voices or see things and that I don't have any other symptoms that could be considered symptoms of schizophrenia as far as my knowledge is concerned. It is stricktly this obsessive talking that has be worried about it, and the reason is that I have always assumed only people with schizophrenia talk to themselves. I have told my mother about it and she says that it is a way of coping with the fact that I am "lonely," not that I have schizophrenia. It makes sense to me, but she's not a trained professional so I still have my doubts. I am really hoping that I don't have this disease, that some one will tell me I'm just severely depressed. Severe depression seems much easier to heal than schizophrenia and I sometimes think that if I end up having schizophrneia that it would be better not to live. Can anybody tell me what they think? I ask here since I know that many of you are coping with the disease or just have a general interest in it the way that I do.

curiouslearner · 07-05-2005, 07:28 PM

The way I talk to myself reminds me of Tom Hanks from Cast Away when he is on the island by himself. Also the fact that it is so hard to control worries me. I don't know what to think. I hope that it is just a little bit of depression and that I am ok the way you say I am. Thanks for your response.

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-06-2005, 10:15 AM

I find it interesting that you described your symptoms as "obsessive thinking" because that might very well be what it is. Let me make it clear that if you're not hearing a voice other than your own inside of your head, then you are not schizophrenic. I also have lengthy conversations in my head and talk to myself (I'm an only child, which can induce loneliness, and my head is my best friend... and best foe! LOL!). The key is, are you debating or arguing with your thoughts? Do you hear something like, "I want to kill my husband," even though it's not true, and you spend the rest of the day, trying to prove to yourself that this is not something that you want to do? If so, you might have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. As a fellow OCD-er, I have conversations in my head constantly, and they're on two levels: obsessive thinking and just me talking to myself. If you're not having obsessive thoughts and don't think you could have OCD and not hearing voices other than your own inside of your head, I would think that you're perfectly normal, and it's just a consequence of being lonely and by yourself most of the time.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

curiouslearner · 07-06-2005, 11:47 AM

I saw a psychiatrist when I was 16 and he said I have obsessive compulsive disorder. The therapist that I was seeing at the same time said that I didn't have it, that I was just going through a phase and he thought I would be o.k. Actually, he said i might have a small tendency to it so I normally think of myself as having some obsessive compulsive disorder.

The thoughts I try to get out of my mind when they enter are usually sexual but I haven't had that problem in a while. I also dont have the need to wash my hands everytime I touch something any more. Those things have since dissipated.

Sometimes I still have "ugly" thoughts in my head and I try to argue them away but they keep entering my mind like if it was another intellect inside of my own. I once thought if maybe it was like having multiple personalities, but I just try to force them away as "bad, unwanted thoughts."

regina_ocd · 07-07-2005, 08:57 AM

I argue with things other people dont perceive.i even think some people are aliens-i even think that i am a princess of a great and holy universe.But despite of that im not schizo...