| Newbie, advice needed
Hey everyone. I'm new here and am quite anxious about putting this up in such a public way, but I don't know what to do. I hope someone can help. I am 18 years old. I started noticing things weren't right when i was about 13. I would hear people whispering things about me, and would see things like bugs everywhere, and cats and there was one particular cat that would follow me and I would pat it and people would ask me what I was doing because they couldn't see it. I believe sometimes that I have special powers to be able to see things that other people tell me that they can see, I sometimes believe that the people who say the ycan't see these things are somehow inferior to me and that God has chosen me alone to see these things and help complete his scheme for the universe. I was seeing a psychiatrist but she wont see me now because I am 18, but she thought I might have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, but I wasn't seeing her long enough to get a diagnosis. I've been hospitalised once. I'm seeing a counsellor now, and I wrote an email to her that I will put on here, because I need advice about what to do. I sent it to her and she said that she doesn't believe that there is anything wrong with me (no mental illness at all) and that I am just going through a rough time at the moment and that it is not important for me to see an adult psychiatrist even though my GP has recently referred me to one because of anxiety problems. I won't go into detail in this post about all the strange things that have happened in my past, I just want to know what I should do about what this counsellor is saying. Please, if anyone has any advice, I'd really like to hear it. The stuff I wrote to her in the email has been getting worse and I am finding it is reaching almost impossible to cope with, everyday is a struggle and I am always tired and sleeping in for longer and not doing anything all day. If you have any questions about things in the past please just ask, I wont post it now because this post will be long enough already. There is other stuff happening too that I didn't put in the email, but I might post them later on. It is really scaring me, if you want to know more about whats happening now or anything just ask. Ok, here is the email, I hope someone can help me.
...When things move in front of me it leaves a trail blurred behind it. Colours aren't the same, sometimes they are too bright or sometimes they are just not the right colour, and sounds can be too loud and really hurt my ears. There is so much yelling, sometimes sounds like it is coming from inside my head and sometimes it is coming from outside my head. I really have to concentrate to hear things over the yelling because sometimes it is really loud. Sometimes they are yelling at me and sometimes they are yelling about me amongst themselves. Sometimes there is only one and sometimes there are alot of them. They tell me I am stupid and ugly and fat and that I should kill myself because no one would miss me anyway. I didn't want to tell you when I was seeing you, but they were yelling at me when I was with you telling me I was stupid and that I was going to make myself look like an idiot and that you would hate me. When I go out I can hear people talking about me and laughing at me. I can't look into some peoples eyes because if I do they can read my mind and put thoughts into my head. The lady in the shop today kept making me look at her and kept putting into my head to buy a pretty scarf so that then I could look nice when I hung myself with it. There are demons following me. They jump from person to person so they can follow me without anyone else noticing them. I can't go to the police about anything because the police are with the demons and they wil try and kill me if I do. Peoples faces transform. Where their eyes are supposed to be becomes black, like looking into nothingness, just black, and I know they are the demons in disguise. The demons are good at disguising I get really scared because I don't know if people are who they say they are. I don't know what to believe. Sometimes I get buzzing in my ears like a million bugs are inside my head and sometimes when people talk I can see the words they are saying come out of their mouths and float around them. Sometimes I see people that are really bright and clean and I know that they are angels and that God has sent them to protect me from the demons. Sometimes stuff seems to melt in front of me but when I touch it it is still there and nothing is wrong with it. When I look in the mirror or at other people they look like they are dying and their bodies go blue and start to fall apart in front of me. In my reflection my eyes start bleeding and I look like I'm dying, and sometimes a black shadow comes out of the mirror at my face and I feel icy cold and then it disappears. I get so scared I know the police are following me and reporting to ***** about me and the satellites send him pictures of me. They always know where I am and what I am doing. I feel like I'm losing control and it scares the hell out of me. | 
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