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Old 05-07-2007, 03:08 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: essex
Posts: 9
donniedarko88 HB User
i need help

I'v only just joined this site because im really struggling today, and i just need help and advice

i dont want a load of people posting and saying i haven't got what i say i have, just because i may have a slightly different symptom to what is classed as the 'normal' symptoms, because i'v been told by the a few doctors that i have it.. so please dont start saying i haven't! sorry i know that sounds a bit bad but i'v had people in the past tell me that i haven't got it and that im lying, im not a attention seeker.. so why would i lie about having this?! and something as big as this as well

i'm 19 and i go to college and hoping to go to uni in september.. but every day it looks less likely i will mange it. i was a fun out going person, i enjoyed going out with my friends and being around other people. i lead a pretty normal life i was doing well at school and college and the future was looking good and i was planning out the rest of my life. then i started to hear things, soft quiet voices in my head and they would just say the odd thing maybe a couple of times a day, but it was never anything to bad. it was almost friendly (that sounds weird) but it was. then after about a month they started getting worse, they got louder and more often, and the things they were saying changed. it became nasty and they would say hurtful things to me all the time (i wont go into detail about what they said at the moment) and i tried to deal with this on my own for 2 weeks but it start to become to much for me to handle. i was becoming depressed and stoped wanting to go out. i started spending alot of time in my room alone, just me and the voices in my head, bringing me down more and more every day with constent insluts and growing parnoia that the world was out to get me. i ended up breaking down and telling my mum and we got seen by a doctor straight away

i'v been dignoised with parnoid schizophrenia for the last 2 years and i see my doctor ever two weeks. i'v been perscribed medication to take twice a day, but i just find its not helping!

the paranoia is just becoming to much for me to handle and i dont know how to stop it, i'm getting to the point where im going to snap (i'm not going to hurt anyone like, i dont mean that snap) i mean just loose my mind and control, start getting angry at people i dont mean to, start just living in my room alone 24/7

just the smallest thing will set me off!! if i walk down the road and someone looks at me once then i'm parnoid that every single person is looking at me! i sit in a class room at college and someone will laugh and my mind races and starts saying that they are laughing at me. im getting to the point where i cant go to college and im finding it hard to leave the house. i find myself just wanting to be alone all the time, left to my little world in my head

i'm getting the biggest mood swings as well.. like today iv been happy all day in a good mood then it just hit me and i'v got to almost my lowest again, the paranoia has built up and up and it just makes me feel angry, so i joined this to see if people understood what i was talking about

this is another problem i have that just noone understands how i feel, my friends try to help and give me advice but its rubish and doesnt help. i need to hear from people that are in my postion and can offer good advice that they themselfs have used or tried..esspicaly young people please because i feel they really understand what its like for me, as they maybe going to uni and college and experencing what i do

i'm scared that one day this will all become to much for me and il do something stupid again and i will just ruin the rest of my life

i just need help

thanks for reading this and any replys

 
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Old 05-07-2007, 11:01 PM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 4
lovely123 HB User
Re: i need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by donniedarko88 View Post
I'v only just joined this site because im really struggling today, and i just need help and advice

i dont want a load of people posting and saying i haven't got what i say i have, just because i may have a slightly different symptom to what is classed as the 'normal' symptoms, because i'v been told by the a few doctors that i have it.. so please dont start saying i haven't! sorry i know that sounds a bit bad but i'v had people in the past tell me that i haven't got it and that im lying, im not a attention seeker.. so why would i lie about having this?! and something as big as this as well

i'm 19 and i go to college and hoping to go to uni in september.. but every day it looks less likely i will mange it. i was a fun out going person, i enjoyed going out with my friends and being around other people. i lead a pretty normal life i was doing well at school and college and the future was looking good and i was planning out the rest of my life. then i started to hear things, soft quiet voices in my head and they would just say the odd thing maybe a couple of times a day, but it was never anything to bad. it was almost friendly (that sounds weird) but it was. then after about a month they started getting worse, they got louder and more often, and the things they were saying changed. it became nasty and they would say hurtful things to me all the time (i wont go into detail about what they said at the moment) and i tried to deal with this on my own for 2 weeks but it start to become to much for me to handle. i was becoming depressed and stoped wanting to go out. i started spending alot of time in my room alone, just me and the voices in my head, bringing me down more and more every day with constent insluts and growing parnoia that the world was out to get me. i ended up breaking down and telling my mum and we got seen by a doctor straight away

i'v been dignoised with parnoid schizophrenia for the last 2 years and i see my doctor ever two weeks. i'v been perscribed medication to take twice a day, but i just find its not helping!

the paranoia is just becoming to much for me to handle and i dont know how to stop it, i'm getting to the point where im going to snap (i'm not going to hurt anyone like, i dont mean that snap) i mean just loose my mind and control, start getting angry at people i dont mean to, start just living in my room alone 24/7

just the smallest thing will set me off!! if i walk down the road and someone looks at me once then i'm parnoid that every single person is looking at me! i sit in a class room at college and someone will laugh and my mind races and starts saying that they are laughing at me. im getting to the point where i cant go to college and im finding it hard to leave the house. i find myself just wanting to be alone all the time, left to my little world in my head

i'm getting the biggest mood swings as well.. like today iv been happy all day in a good mood then it just hit me and i'v got to almost my lowest again, the paranoia has built up and up and it just makes me feel angry, so i joined this to see if people understood what i was talking about

this is another problem i have that just noone understands how i feel, my friends try to help and give me advice but its rubish and doesnt help. i need to hear from people that are in my postion and can offer good advice that they themselfs have used or tried..esspicaly young people please because i feel they really understand what its like for me, as they maybe going to uni and college and experencing what i do

i'm scared that one day this will all become to much for me and il do something stupid again and i will just ruin the rest of my life

i just need help

thanks for reading this and any replys
Honey, I have it but I'm alright. I'm really neat. I went to college and then got the schizophrenia after I graduated. I struggled a lot with my family's acceptance. Oh well its really hard in some fling, like feeling like you are an idiot but you just have got to give it some time and get to know yourself and the voice better. I have developed a love for my life and everybody has a different experience. It is really awful in a little level, a little emberrassing but it is kind of nice if you have a love with that self though. Personally I feel it is God loving me through my heart and sort of in my mind. I respect it and I love it and it guides me every single minute of my life and its ok to have it. Everybody has it nowadays anyway. Just respond to it and tell it what you are really feeling. Maybe you have some issues it wants to work on with you. You are a child of God and never forget that, whatever your faith. I love you here in America and never give up. Friend to you. By the way, if you are having all of these problems at school I would seek more help with a therapist or switch your meds to Abilify. It works for me. PS, You are never an idiot, don't worry about it You are it. the one.

 
Old 05-07-2007, 11:01 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 4
lovely123 HB User
Re: i need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by donniedarko88 View Post
I'v only just joined this site because im really struggling today, and i just need help and advice

i dont want a load of people posting and saying i haven't got what i say i have, just because i may have a slightly different symptom to what is classed as the 'normal' symptoms, because i'v been told by the a few doctors that i have it.. so please dont start saying i haven't! sorry i know that sounds a bit bad but i'v had people in the past tell me that i haven't got it and that im lying, im not a attention seeker.. so why would i lie about having this?! and something as big as this as well

i'm 19 and i go to college and hoping to go to uni in september.. but every day it looks less likely i will mange it. i was a fun out going person, i enjoyed going out with my friends and being around other people. i lead a pretty normal life i was doing well at school and college and the future was looking good and i was planning out the rest of my life. then i started to hear things, soft quiet voices in my head and they would just say the odd thing maybe a couple of times a day, but it was never anything to bad. it was almost friendly (that sounds weird) but it was. then after about a month they started getting worse, they got louder and more often, and the things they were saying changed. it became nasty and they would say hurtful things to me all the time (i wont go into detail about what they said at the moment) and i tried to deal with this on my own for 2 weeks but it start to become to much for me to handle. i was becoming depressed and stoped wanting to go out. i started spending alot of time in my room alone, just me and the voices in my head, bringing me down more and more every day with constent insluts and growing parnoia that the world was out to get me. i ended up breaking down and telling my mum and we got seen by a doctor straight away

i'v been dignoised with parnoid schizophrenia for the last 2 years and i see my doctor ever two weeks. i'v been perscribed medication to take twice a day, but i just find its not helping!

the paranoia is just becoming to much for me to handle and i dont know how to stop it, i'm getting to the point where im going to snap (i'm not going to hurt anyone like, i dont mean that snap) i mean just loose my mind and control, start getting angry at people i dont mean to, start just living in my room alone 24/7

just the smallest thing will set me off!! if i walk down the road and someone looks at me once then i'm parnoid that every single person is looking at me! i sit in a class room at college and someone will laugh and my mind races and starts saying that they are laughing at me. im getting to the point where i cant go to college and im finding it hard to leave the house. i find myself just wanting to be alone all the time, left to my little world in my head

i'm getting the biggest mood swings as well.. like today iv been happy all day in a good mood then it just hit me and i'v got to almost my lowest again, the paranoia has built up and up and it just makes me feel angry, so i joined this to see if people understood what i was talking about

this is another problem i have that just noone understands how i feel, my friends try to help and give me advice but its rubish and doesnt help. i need to hear from people that are in my postion and can offer good advice that they themselfs have used or tried..esspicaly young people please because i feel they really understand what its like for me, as they maybe going to uni and college and experencing what i do

i'm scared that one day this will all become to much for me and il do something stupid again and i will just ruin the rest of my life

i just need help

thanks for reading this and any replys
Honey, I have it but I'm alright. I'm really neat. I went to college and then got the schizophrenia after I graduated. I struggled a lot with my family's acceptance. Oh well its really hard in some fling, like feeling like you are an idiot but you just have got to give it some time and get to know yourself and the voice better. I have developed a love for my life and everybody has a different experience. It is really awful in a little level, a little emberrassing but it is kind of nice if you have a love with that self though. Personally I feel it is God loving me through my heart and sort of in my mind. I respect it and I love it and it guides me every single minute of my life and its ok to have it. Everybody has it nowadays anyway. Just respond to it and tell it what you are really feeling. Maybe you have some issues it wants to work on with you. You are a child of God and never forget that, whatever your faith. I love you here in America and never give up. Friend to you. By the way, if you are having all of these problems at school I would seek more help with a therapist or switch your meds to Abilify. It works for me. PS, You are never an idiot, don't worry about it You are it. the one.

 
Old 05-07-2007, 11:02 PM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 4
lovely123 HB User
Re: i need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by donniedarko88 View Post
I'v only just joined this site because im really struggling today, and i just need help and advice

i dont want a load of people posting and saying i haven't got what i say i have, just because i may have a slightly different symptom to what is classed as the 'normal' symptoms, because i'v been told by the a few doctors that i have it.. so please dont start saying i haven't! sorry i know that sounds a bit bad but i'v had people in the past tell me that i haven't got it and that im lying, im not a attention seeker.. so why would i lie about having this?! and something as big as this as well

i'm 19 and i go to college and hoping to go to uni in september.. but every day it looks less likely i will mange it. i was a fun out going person, i enjoyed going out with my friends and being around other people. i lead a pretty normal life i was doing well at school and college and the future was looking good and i was planning out the rest of my life. then i started to hear things, soft quiet voices in my head and they would just say the odd thing maybe a couple of times a day, but it was never anything to bad. it was almost friendly (that sounds weird) but it was. then after about a month they started getting worse, they got louder and more often, and the things they were saying changed. it became nasty and they would say hurtful things to me all the time (i wont go into detail about what they said at the moment) and i tried to deal with this on my own for 2 weeks but it start to become to much for me to handle. i was becoming depressed and stoped wanting to go out. i started spending alot of time in my room alone, just me and the voices in my head, bringing me down more and more every day with constent insluts and growing parnoia that the world was out to get me. i ended up breaking down and telling my mum and we got seen by a doctor straight away

i'v been dignoised with parnoid schizophrenia for the last 2 years and i see my doctor ever two weeks. i'v been perscribed medication to take twice a day, but i just find its not helping!

the paranoia is just becoming to much for me to handle and i dont know how to stop it, i'm getting to the point where im going to snap (i'm not going to hurt anyone like, i dont mean that snap) i mean just loose my mind and control, start getting angry at people i dont mean to, start just living in my room alone 24/7

just the smallest thing will set me off!! if i walk down the road and someone looks at me once then i'm parnoid that every single person is looking at me! i sit in a class room at college and someone will laugh and my mind races and starts saying that they are laughing at me. im getting to the point where i cant go to college and im finding it hard to leave the house. i find myself just wanting to be alone all the time, left to my little world in my head

i'm getting the biggest mood swings as well.. like today iv been happy all day in a good mood then it just hit me and i'v got to almost my lowest again, the paranoia has built up and up and it just makes me feel angry, so i joined this to see if people understood what i was talking about

this is another problem i have that just noone understands how i feel, my friends try to help and give me advice but its rubish and doesnt help. i need to hear from people that are in my postion and can offer good advice that they themselfs have used or tried..esspicaly young people please because i feel they really understand what its like for me, as they maybe going to uni and college and experencing what i do

i'm scared that one day this will all become to much for me and il do something stupid again and i will just ruin the rest of my life

i just need help

thanks for reading this and any replys
Honey, I have it but I'm alright. I'm really neat. I went to college and then got the schizophrenia after I graduated. I struggled a lot with my family's acceptance. Oh well its really hard in some fling, like feeling like you are an idiot but you just have got to give it some time and get to know yourself and the voice better. I have developed a love for my life and everybody has a different experience. It is really awful in a little level, a little emberrassing but it is kind of nice if you have a love with that self though. Personally I feel it is God loving me through my heart and sort of in my mind. I respect it and I love it and it guides me every single minute of my life and its ok to have it. Everybody has it nowadays anyway. Just respond to it and tell it what you are really feeling. Maybe you have some issues it wants to work on with you. You are a child of God and never forget that, whatever your faith. I love you here in America and never give up. Friend to you. By the way, if you are having all of these problems at school I would seek more help with a therapist or switch your meds to Abilify. It works for me. PS, You are never an idiot, don't worry about it You are it. the one.

 
Old 05-10-2007, 09:42 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: midwest city,ok
Posts: 12
findme HB User
Re: i need help

i am also new to this board. i do not have sz but my husband does. i will tell you that you have come to the right place. i have found alot of good advice and support here. i pray that you find someone who you can trust and will understand the fear that you feel. it helps to have someone, so my husband says, that will not lecture you or berate you, but just be there. my huband hasbeen on 4 different meds and thank god the ablify has been the best. that and the zoloft has given him some peace. ask your doctor for some samples. dont give up sweety!!!!!!!!!!! we hear you.

 
Old 05-17-2007, 10:12 AM   #6
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: inside a box
Posts: 51
paranormal HB User
Re: i need help

hi donniedarko88, i am 20 years old and i am attending university and i suffer from extreme pranoia (i am not dx'ed yet but i relate to what you are saying except for the voices part).

i am still suffering and trying to deal with things. it really sucks with uni and all, but when you are having a bad day or an extremely bad week, talk to your doc, let your profs know that you have a medical condition, and whenever you have *enough* energy to get the work done, go to class, see class mates , wahtever i is. hoenstly i don't go to class much, it's very hard for me, the anxiety can be unbearble, but getting the work done at home even though it can be hard, it helps a llot with getting your mind off of your delusions.

i wish you well, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. we're all in this mental problem thing together : )

take care,

~para

 
Old 05-18-2007, 12:10 AM   #7
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 48
smw73 HB User
Re: i need help

Maybe you should take a break for awhile from studies or consider part time studies, if possible. I wouldn't give it up. But you are more likely to be responsive to medication, in the early stages, if you are in a quiet, peaceful environment. What kind of doctor are you seeing? Is it someone you can really discuss the issues with? I can understand your frustration with your friends, but it is hard for anyone to really understand this sort of thing until they have experienced it themselves (I have). That's a great thing about these forums - you can be open about things and know that you are understood and you don't have to worry about judgement. It's less isolating. Take care and good luck - smw

 
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