Humanity is the spice that dispels sickness. It is important that you have or acquire a social circle. Always have at hand at least one person to talk with. One person you can trust (preferably beyond family and therapist) you can confide your innermost feelings. Have someone in your age group who leads a ‘normal’ life, so that you can keep your bearings with what’s around you and ‘reality-check.’ Also a mentor-older person who has your disability, and has ‘charted’ the path of schizo. for a longer time is great! Try to find a coach who ‘has been there,’ who has gone through in the past what you are confronting now, and above all a coach or mentor you can relate to, who can mentor you through the whole process, beginning and end, and understands how to coach you through a crisis. We all have someone we admire. Find a role model, and specifically, one public figure who provides leadership and inspiration, regardless of their type of struggle. Profile yourself in positive people, above all human people, who have confronted great challenges. The measure of your success will be the help of a true friend or a mentor or a leader who give you hope and inspiration to go on and face any challenge! We are all here on this Earth to help each other across this great adventure called the human will!
that is very reassuring, inspiring, wise, and optimistic.
but it is so hard to build such a close friendship with someone--to build that much of the trust that you suggest--with someone other than family (because they know your secrets already, some of them at least) and it takes a while to build a friendship, let alone to start one and be able to confide in that person knowing that you can trust them. it is so hard to trust with mental illness. most people freak out when they know that the person they are talking to is mentally ill, so it's easy to "save ourselves from the embrassment and rejection" by staying away from people as well.
i do not knw if i am schziphrenic by the way, i have not been diagnosed yet. but this friendship thing is an important issue.
yes - O.K. - But a strong friendship implies that the other person who knows you're mentally ill also has his-her own fragilities and vulnerabilities. An 'exchange' of human frailty often leads to very strong bonds. And that would mean that you know someone else's deepest, darkest feelings, and the price of being mutual confidants would seal a pact of trust. Each other bond because they know their soft, frail spots, vouchsafed with a vow of trust.
This is the I feel about this subject.I am no "guru" however I believe that being friends with a "normal" person is subject to potential let down.In the back of their mind they may be thinking that they are 1up on you or that they have something against you.My own mother went and told my child's doctor that the reason I was unable to attend my daughters dr. appt. was because I have Schizo.........WTH?I mean I was outraged.I already have problems dealing with my illness now my mother told my daughters dr. geez thanks mom.I was so mad at her.Some of my friends know but for the most part I hide my illness because in life mental illness is taboo....When I did tell my brother about it he laughed about some feelings I had in front of a bunch of his friends.I was humiliated.These are the types of things I have gone through telling people about my illness.So everyone's circle of family and friends are different.My dad is supportive and my husband is.I have a few people in my corner that's about it.
Last edited by Lonely810810; 05-19-2007 at 03:16 PM.
I've been sufficiently stigmatized in my life. Just this year I lost 2 very good friendships. I also feel 'tabooed' and booted. I've been even ostracized from religious communities, even when I was a nice person. Half of my friend's list is empty. In the end I did not say or do anything wrong. They just disappeared.........I guess the saying is true: 'when one's in trouble or predicament, the true friends manifest themselves. (BytheWay)'guru' was a very unfortunate name choice. I don't profess to know much, (although I have some good ideas about art), and by reading the posts I gather I'm much more of humble 'learner' than any 'guru' (good call by the way)......
You actually seem pretty smart as far as wording and such.I am sorry sometimes I come across as stand-offish but I try not to be.It is one of my personality traits maybe that is why I don't have many friends lol.I feel like you go to the doctor and try to get some help for your feelings.As far as these boards go everyone could be a potential threat.I know what you are going through personally.As far as religion goes I used to be into god and believe everything I was taught about the bible,I now feel as though god does not love me and that he has given up on me.I never thought I would see the day when I would feel this way but it's here.I have other harsh feelings towards people in general that were never there.Well nice chattin Guru!!!!!!
I'm so happy to see your posts being responded to Guru (and reading the discussion).
Guru, you are inspiring because, depite the fact that you have dealt with illness and the social stigma, you apparently seem to have developed great coping skills. i enjoy your posts as well =)
One question: how were you able to get past your paranoia to befriend and trust people (i assume that you have, so please clarify if you are only in the process). Thanks.
Lonely, i think you feel the way you do about the belief or love of God is because of your suffering. i know someone who is religious, but she also goes through those phases, especially during her panic attacks. usually, thoughts like "i must deserve this if God is letting me suffer this way. I'm a bad person. God doesn't love me. or maybe there isn't a God, and that's why my prayers are not answered" with the panic attacks, all this and more come along with "I'm going to die! (and go to hell)!"
i am sorry you feel spiritually abandoned. this is in most cases because of self-loathing. it's understandable why you feel this way, and it is heartbreaking to be in a place you didn't anticipate being in. if you can learn to love yourself, trust beyond your self, take the leap of faith (and this is not necessarily referring to religion), i think you will be even happier. there is an unexplainable sense of peace with found spirituality.
i truly hope you find and retain a sense of peace throughout your life.