I'd like to formally introduce myself and my story. - Schizophrenia Message Board

Empire1 · 07-31-2007, 11:54 PM

Hello all. I go by Empire.

I am 37 and was diagnosed schozophrenic nearly 4 years ago. I was married for 3 years and was divorced in March of 2006. I have been considered a little "wierd" since I can remember, but my symptoms started in about 2000. My symptoms are auditory hallucinations and paranoia along with not being able to distinquish between my REM dream state and reality. I often (and still while medicated) wake up thinking my dreams were real. I keep a journal now to help with this. I'm on 10 mg of Zyprexa (Olanzapine) a day and remember to take it occassoinally. My doctor tells me I'm a "functional schizophrenic" so that gives me hope. Though I fear I may slip into something deeper in life later on.

I can keep up with relationships, though I haven't started dated since my diagnosis. I have been hospitalized twice in the last 3 years. I can't seem to hold a job for more than a couple of years. I have my good days and bad days.

I just started a new job today actually as a cook. I love to cook and I think this job may be good for me.

But in the back of my mind, I feel I am a failure. I keep hanging on to the thought that I can do some good in world, but I just don't seem to be making a dent.

Thoughts........

EDIT: Right now I'm working on quiting my bad habits. I know I should not drink, but I do on occassion. Particurlly under stress. I also smoke, but I'm working on quitting that too. Right now I'm emptying out my fridge of any alcohol (by that I mean drinking the rest that I have, which is very little) and smoking my last pack of cigarettes. I think these steps will help manage my illness a little more, if not a lot more and let me lead a more productive life.

Empire

neon_dreamer · 08-01-2007, 02:23 PM

Empire,

Welcome to the board.

I'm 36 years old and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type last year after experiencing my first manic episode. Some of my symptoms included auditory hallucinations, persecutory delusions, paranoia, confusion and irritability.

I've also suffered from paranoia for the past 10 years, but it wasn't until I was hospitalized last year (for my manic episode) that I received meds.

My delusions centered around the belief that people were following me, poisoning my food and watching me through cameras installed in my apartment.

I'm currently taking Depakote (500 mg twice a day) and Risperdal (4 mg) to keep the mania, auditory hallucinations and paranoia under control.

I've been stable ever since being discharged from the hospital last year thanks to the meds and bi-weekly therapy. The therapy helps me identify my triggers (lack of sleep, stress) and keeps my emotions grounded.

I think you're taking the right steps by freeing yourself of all alcohol and cigarettes -- although I can emphasize with how difficult it is to cope with the latter. One of my best friends is currently trying to quit and has been going through a particularly difficult rough patch as of late.

Again, welcome to the board and thanks for sharing your story with us.

neon_dreamer