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what now? where do i turn? is there help?

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Old 02-11-2008, 09:36 PM   #1
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blue712 HB User
what now? where do i turn? is there help?

my sister is schizophrenic. her symptoms range from moderate to severe. if you were to have any more than a 5 minute long conversation with her, you could tell there is something off, she has been unable to keep a job, so she now works for my father doing simple busy work. she has been ill for maybe 6 yrs or so. her illness has been degenerative and she went undiagnosed because the illness had such a slow onset. i feel like i was the only one who noticed something was wrong in the early stages and i resent my parents for not having noticed sooner. perhaps some of the damage could have been prevented. i have read that schizophrenia does not alter an individual's personality, though i have found this to be false, at least in my sisters case. she used to be smart, beautiful, intelligent and incredibly social. none of these traits remain. she was so charming and popular, loved by so many. she was witty and outgoing, and she was on her way to success. she began acting a bit strange and obsessive, then one day it was as if she had cracked. she was talking to her self, laughing hysterically at nothing, unable to respond to anyone except with an 'um' or 'i dont know' even if they didnt fit the context of the conversation. she became a different person and has never been the same since before this incident. i should probably also mention that she does not believe that she is ill, she thinks that there is nothing wrong and becomes angry at any attempt to help.
i have read a lot of posts on this board and it seems that the majority of those with schizophrenia are not severely impaired (whether on or off meds) but my sister is on meds and her she still suffers from horrible dilllusions. for at least a couple years, she has had this dillusion that she is going to die in some odd number of months and her life revolves around this preoccupation with her death, she speaks very little but what is said is said about her fate or about strange religious perception. she is usually hospitalized within this frame of time, but the only good it does is 'extend the amount of time she has left to live.' why is this and will it ever stop? nothing seems to work. this whole ordeal has slowly torn apart our family. what is there left to do?

Last edited by blue712; 02-15-2008 at 08:38 PM.

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Old 02-13-2008, 12:59 AM   #2
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I'm very sorry to hear all that you've said... I hope things do turn out sooner than later...

Personally, after reading what you've stated... All I can say is that any Mental Illness is a Roller Coaster... And all, "You," can do, if all else fails; is hang on...

The way You've explained everything, it almost seems like what my Mom would say about my illness... In that She, (My Mom) feels personally attached, and almost... Beats herself over how things are going... Even though I constantly tell her that its out of both Her's, and My own control...

I think family members of those who are ill, take pride in helping their ill family member... They feel personally attached like no other, but sometimes forget that no matter what course of action... Through Psychiatric pathways, or anti-Psychiatric paths... The truth about it all, is that NO one is EVER in control of the roller coaster...

My Parents forced me to take Anti-psychotic meds as soon as I was, "Thought-to-be," Psychotic... Because the Doctors stated, "I NEED meds to get better..." That didn't help... Then, about a year and a half later, (present day) my parents heard about vitamins and nutrients that help psychosis/mental illnesses... They blamed themselves for my relapse, and they are now pressuring towards the vitamins and nutrient way of helping psychosis/mental illnesses... And all the while, I'm riding front seat of the roller coaster, and my parents are influencing the controls moreso than I...

The fact is... I've been in the hospital for almost 2.5 months in the last year and a half, and I met nearly a hundred fellow mentally ill, and every single one of them, is on a different path of healing... After a year with a mental illness... Cure is no longer top priority... RELIEF is... Even one good day would be enough to keep many strong and willing to keep up a constant battle...

The part that makes me upset, as a mentally-ill victim, is that my family jumped onto my roller coaster with me... Now, they go through what I go through... And I didn't ask them too... It makes things hard for me, as all I want to do as anyones child should; is to impress my parents/family... And if they make my rough ride a part of theirs... I'm constantly reminded by their screams, of what I do, and how it affects them... Rather than how I can get better...

This makes things harder for me... If I could give any family member of a mentally-ill person, any advice... I'd say, "be prepared to take a step back, and let things be..." Because NO matter what anyone does to battle mental-illnesses... Nothing is for sure... There is NO cure... And if there is a cure, I'd let the mentally-ill person decide what is... in fact, a, "cure."

What I'm trying to say, is that sometimes, when a person is ill. Others, whether that be friends or family; take their disfunction to heart, and make it, "their," mission to see the ill person through to happiness/cure... When in fact, it is not their mission to accept... And no matter what path they, or anyone who's ill takes... There is NEVER, a definite way to cure...

One medication works for some, while others don't get anything from it... Many don't even get relief from ANY medication... Others get better by smoking pot... Doing drugs... Some get better by taking supplements... Vitamins, minerals... Some get better by accepting a daily routine, that keeps them busy... Others just need exercise... And some just... Get better without any form of healing... And all the while... Everyone is different in their reactions to any type of healing process/method/path...

So continue to ride the roller coaster... Just instead of focusing on the controls... Enjoy the ride... Hang on... And accept that it is in no one's control... Remember there is never a right way to do things, and nothing positive will come without trying...


Last edited by 8800GTS; 02-13-2008 at 01:07 AM.

Old 02-14-2008, 10:14 PM   #3
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Re: what now? where do i turn? is there help?

thanks so much for your reply. i really appreciate it. it helps to hear from others who are dealing with schizophrenia.

Old 02-15-2008, 08:19 PM   #4
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8800GTS HB User
thank you

Thank, "YOU," for your appreciation. This forum helps all people caught in the mental-illness circle... And anyone who's dealing with schizophrenia/psychosis/mentall illnesses, will agree, that those who ask questions are making life easier for all of, "US..." Whether that be, friends, family, mentally ill, etc... Its good to know that people care, and are willing to take a risk and shout out for help once in awhile. So thank, "YOU."

I hope I answered your question fairly... I read my reply again, and I am sorry if it comes off as a bit, "cold." I assure you thats now how I meant it.

Its just a shame how in almost every case, of mental illness... The story is the same in a way; as to how family members/friends/mentally-ill victims react to the thought of having a disability that no one can prove exists... I mean, there is NO way for definitive 100% absolute diagnosis... There are no tests... And yet, people are told they have an illness, that NEEDS the immediate care of/with, "VERY," potent, very oftenly, "HIT-or-MISS," medications... They are constantly thrown this way and that, from all directions, yet en-trust all who are willing to help... And believe in whatever treatment is laid out on their roller coaster tracks... And the more people, willing to jump onto the roller coaster, the easier it is for all passengers to not only hang on to their individual seats, but also hang onto eachother... With a constant reminder of support...

It is unfair to those who support mentally-ill people, and it is unfair to those who have the illness... But it is also unfair to those who diagnose, and first-handedly treat, illnesses that at the time of crisis, seem treatable... But most likely, and occasionaly, predictably; are not... And most definitely... End with a negative story that is never told and shared with others... "IF," only those, who have negative stories, would share more, and be willing to put out all that they have to offer in the direction of those who become ill, and to those who constantly seek it... Things would/should/could begin to end in a more positive way... Its only a matter of time... Before the world starts to see things this way... And the more questions that are asked... The more answers are recieved... The more people, will come to understand illnesses that are being publically, internationally mistreated...

It was an honest-pleasure, reading your story, and I feel for you, and all your family... I wish you all the best.


Last edited by 8800GTS; 02-15-2008 at 08:48 PM.

Old 02-27-2008, 11:32 AM   #5
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2BNormal HB User
Re: what now? where do i turn? is there help?

8800GTS, great write up! I have a son and couldn't agree more. The biggest influence for my son, learning to admit he has it and there is no cure, just treatment. Still after 10 yrs, there are struggles and challenges with this illness everyday.

Old 03-25-2008, 10:01 AM   #6
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Gypsyone HB User
Re: hey

I believe you may have answered my question. I don't like it but; I have stepped back. It's difficult to step back from your child. Of course he is an adult and I know that. He has made the decision to separate from us. How would you feel if you were physically ill and there was no one there to love and help you? To me family is so important. You are an amazing person regarding your command of the English language and your ability to express your feelings. Thank you.

Old 03-25-2008, 10:43 AM   #7
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Re: what now? where do i turn? is there help?

your in a really tough spot. I know when I have an episode, i think everyone is going to put me in the hospital, and hurt me, so i stay away from my whole family even my husband. I quit eating ya know the works. Something in my brain tells me I am "not right" I don't know what, and I am reguarlly paraniod of doctors, but i get on meds. I don't know what meds she's on, but she needs to find something to stop the delusions, because I don't think it will get better unless she does. you could put her in a psych hospital and they will keep her because she is a danger and force her to take meds, once they start working maybe she'll continue to take them. Sorry for all your troubles, and family breaking up. Your in a difficult spot

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