Ray Ray 1985

I've been feeling low not sleeping properly either too much or not at all, it's the same with food. I vomit every morning and I've had this for two years now. I've been hearing and seeing strange things and no one else seems to to notice it, just me. I've got trouble going to the toliet and I feel really detacted from reality. I cry everyday for no reason. I'm hiding this as much as I can from my family because I'm afraid they'll be mad or even worse lock me away, and I wont go to the doctors because of the same reason. I talk to out aloud when no one's there and have conversations sometimes for hours. Sometimes I wish I could just switch my brain off because of the strange pictures and bad memories and the racing thoughts, it's like a traffic jam most of the time. I can't get anything done because I cant concentract and get tired and distracted easily. I feel worthless and sit in my room all day, I havnt spoken to any of my friends for weeks because I'm told not to call them and wouldn't know what to say. I often think of different ways to hurt people and I cant stop cutting myself. I dont know what to do or what this is please help me figure it out.