Thought Broadcasting and Bipolar disorder
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my early twenties. I might be schizo affective, or schizophrenic due to the fact that I get delusional, intense feelings of persecution, voices, paranoia, etc. (on occasion). I've been dealing with thought broadcasting for 20 years now. It comes and goes. I really have no control over it.
I think fear, nervousness, and anxiety make it worse.
I thought that it was a delusion at first, but now I know that it's real. I know this for a fact because I did a thought experiment in front of 25 people.
I played a piece of classical music in my mind, and everybody heard it. Unfortunately, they also heard some of the psycho babble going on in my mind afterward.
Afterward, I went outside. The colors of the trees seemed more intense, I had this strange feeling that 100 different realizations/revelations were all going on at once.
I do think that some people have delusions concerning thought broadcasting, but in my case it's real.
I don't know what to do about it except meditate to new age music, or get into spirituality.
It's really hard to think of nothing all the time. As soon as the thoughts leak, I get some really strange reactions from people.
The reactions started off being really negative. Then things got better when I got into meditation.
Nothing is 100% though. I find it really hard to be in social situations. I have to be in the right frame of mind just to get myself to the grocery store.
I get really sad when the gossip, chuckling, and jokes start.
I have a lot of theories as to why it happens. A cosmic hole in my head?
Psychic abilities? Beings from other planets doing mind control experiments on me? How did this all start? I have no idea what really causes it.
I wish I had the answer to that one.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story.