Join Date: Jan 2009
Schizophrenia or just ADHD and bad life?
Recently, with the past few years, I believe i have become much more self aware of problems I am experiencing in my life on a social and functional level.
I am not sure whether this is just a part of growing up and wiser or something deeper. What i mean by recently self aware, is that these problems have been present for many years, but am now realizing that they are out of my control.
As I have become more aware, I have been doing a lot of research to try and figure out why I do the things I do, and attempt to take some sort of action to remedy these "faults".
I have done alot of online pre-screening tests and personality, and that has led to my research regarding schizophrenia.
I actually have two questions that i could not answer by my studies, and In hoping to get the best possible answers, I am going to include alot of information.
While researching information regarding schizophrenia, it appeared that it is mainly referenced by positive symptoms like hallucinations and delusions, and that positive symptoms are the main focus of the disorder.
If an individual does not have any positive symptoms, is it likely to have this disorder?
While viewing all of the possible symptoms for this order, I found that I have almost every single one of them outside of the positive classification, and one or two within the classification, which would be minimal involuntary movements and coordination. and Disorganised Thought.
The problem is all these symptoms could be mapped to other things including ADHD and the very hard life i have lived.
As of this writing I am 27 years old. Around the age of 6 or 7, I was diagnosed, by observation and motor skill tests, with ADHD. The doctor who performed the observations, which I was told is a world renounded pediatric neurologist, specializing in ADHD and had written books on ADHD, stated I had the most severe case he had ever seen without any learning disabilities. My most recent iq test reveals that I have an above average iq, which is around 140.
I am now considering that it is possible I was misdiagnosed, or more likely that the ADHD has faded out or developed into Schizophrenia.
Many of the symptoms I encounter relating to schizophrenia have been present for several years, and others all of my life. These symptoms include, but are not limited to:
flat affect (immobile facial expression, monotonous voice),
lack of pleasure in everyday life,
diminished ability to initiate and sustain planned activity, and
speaking infrequently, even when forced to interact.
neglect basic hygiene
inability to sustain attention
problems with "working memory" (the ability to keep recently learned information in mind and use it right away)
Cognitive impairments often interfere with the patient's ability to lead a normal life and earn a living. They can cause great emotional distress.
Feel I have superior insights.
lose the capacity to focus on relevant thoughts and proceed logically in sequence.
cannot put them in their correct order.
loses all interest in normal living. Emotions do not move them.
appear and behave very dull and apathetic.
difficulty in expressing emotions - other than laughing - Love Comedy
difficulty in taking care of themselves
inability to feel pleasure
Difficulties remembering simple tasks
--A blank, vacant facial expression.
--Movement is speeded up- i.e. constant pacing or moving my legs - fidgting with objects
--The inability to experience joy or pleasure from activities (called anhedonia)
--Sometimes feeling nothing at all
--Appearing desireless- seeking nothing, wanting nothing
--Feeling indifferent to important events
--Hypersensitivity to criticism, insults, or hurt feelings
--Dropping out of activities and life in general
--Inability to form or keep relationships
--Social isolation- few close friends if any. Little interaction outside of immediate family - little interaction with ANY family
--Increased withdrawal, spending most of the days alone.
--Becoming lost in thoughts and not wanting to be disturbed with human contact
--Neglect in self-care- i.e. hygiene, clothing, or appearance
--Replaying or rehearsing conversations out loud-
--Lack of goal-directed behavior. Not being able to engage in purposeful activity
--Functional impairment in interpersonal relationships, work, education, or self-care
--Deterioration of academic or job-related performance
--Inappropriate responses- laughing or smiling when talking of a sad event, making irrational statements.
--Smoke - Newport 100's - pack a day, sometimes more.
--Frequent moves, trips, or walks that lead nowhere
--Ruminating thoughts- these are the same thoughts that go around and round your head but get you nowhere.
--Frequent loose association of thoughts or speech
--Directionless- lack goals, or the ability to set and achieve goals
--In conversation you tend to say very little (called poverty of speech or alogia)
--Trouble with social cues- i.e. not being able to interpret body language, eye contact, voice tone, and gestures appropriately.
cant tell when someone is flirting with me - Constantly take words and actions as negative against me.
- Distrust Everyone
--Often not responding appropriately and thus coming off as cold, distant, or detached.
--Difficulty expressing thoughts verbally. Or not having much to say about anything.
--Speaking in an abstract or tangential way. Odd use of words or language structure. - I use alot of analogys to try and explain my thoughts
--Difficulty focusing attention and engaging in goal directed behavior
--Poor concentration/ memory. Forgetfulness
--Nonsensical logic - I dont think it is, but many people say otherwise - cant relate
--Thoughts, behavior, and actions are not integrated
--Obsessive compulsive tendencies- with thoughts
As you can tell, i copied and pasted symptoms that apply to me because 1 its easier, and two, my forgetfulness.
I had taken a personality test not to long ago which consisted of 50 questions.
The dominate result of that test classified me as Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizopal
Schizoid ,..,.,.,.,82% ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,53%
Schizopal ,.,.,.,.,70% ,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,53%
The other 2 high percentages were avoidant and borderline.
Now, i mentioned that I was diagnosed with adhd when i was a child, However I have been unmediated and without any treatment for about 12 years now.
I seen a neurologist a week ago and was put on adderall. I dont feel he gave me a very through exam. Asked me a few question, did a very short agree disagree test, and tapped me with this reflex tool a few times.
I had brought up the schiziod topic from the stated test, and he pretty much brushed it off because i was not hearing voices or seeing things, and just said it was due to my life.
The adderall is 20 MG and im susposed to take it 2 times a day.
I havent noticed any type of relief from this medicine.
As I mentioned, I have had an interesting life, and alot of messed up things happen to me.
I was bounced back and forth between parents for a while. Eventually i was placed in foster care until the age of 18, which most of the time I was kicked out of the places i was put. So there is a strong fear of rejection.
My own wife had me sent to prison (turned me in on an out of state felony charge, strictly for her own benifit.) Not out of protection
I have lived on the streets. I have gotten into ALOT of legal trouble, and upon hearing that my only real true friend had died, I had no emotional response.
That is just a micron of the history of my life. It would take me a week to include all the negative experiences I have had in my life.
Hygene is extreemly poor. Usually i only shower if i start to stink, and have gone months without brusing my teeth.
I have no motivation to do anything.
I have never been able to survive on my own, at least in the normal social sense.
I have never been able to hold a job.... I can go on all day ...
While I have no real history of substance abuse aside from the occasional experiment and cronic marajuana use, which i contribute to self medicating my overactive brain, Both my mother and father do.
My mother was a coke and meth addict, and my father did it all, however his drugs of choice were heroin and alcohol.
After reading some information about schizophrenia and the role genetics play, i asked my mother if there was a history of mental illness in the family.
I was a little uneasy in hearing that her uncle is currently in a group home and being treated for schizophrenia, and another was in a mental hospital.
My mother told me like yesterday that my father told her he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia with homicidal tendency, and that he never went back to the doctor after that. However several years later was submitted to in-patient hospital treatment for something. He was also recently diagnosed with ADD.
So with that limited, but accurate, wealth of information about me, my symptoms, and my background, i can close with these final questions ...
1. If an individual does not currently have any episodes of delusions,or Hallucinations, is it still likely or reasonable to have this disorder?
2. Based on the information provided, is it reasonable to consider that I may be schizophrenic instead of ADHD, and was possibly most recently misdiagnosed.
3. Does the fact that under the circumstances of my life and the events that took place simply make my symptoms a product of reasonable cause and effect, where my life is the cause, and the symptoms the effect, or vice versa, OR ....
Are my symptoms a valid concern for schizophrenia, or other mental illness DESPITE of my life experiences.