Hey there - thanks for posting your personal issues on here. It helps to know that people are ready and willing to ask for help. This is what we're hear to do. Remain true to yourself and keep being honest.
Anyways - I won't tell you what I think you have (Diagnosis..) Because it is unimportant. What, "IS," important... Are your symptoms
... Try concentrating on the symptoms - not the diagnosis... If you continue to think about the diagnosis and not the actual symptoms - you will forget to work on the things that are actually bothering you.
As far as I'm concerned - theres a high possibility that what you've experienced is psychosis.. However - psychosis can and does happen to anyone - at any given time; without any specific reason... Sometimes it just happens. Other times - its motivated by deep anguish - personal issues that are neglected through some form of denial... The whole, "Oh, I don't have issues, I'm not crazy," type thing...
Truth is - everyone has issues. Its just a matter of each of us, "as individuals," coming to terms with our own personal issues - and learning to ACCEPT
them - not FIGHT
them... The sooner you realize - that your symptoms are a part
of you - the sooner you can begin to feel better. The best thing that you could do - is gain insight into your own symptoms. Learn to catch them while they happen, so that you can then - and only then - prevent any further similar symptoms from arising. Regardless if you're taking medications or seeing therapists - they aren't always going to save you when things start going sideways. You gotta learn to live with your own symptoms...
One thing I could suggest - don't read too much on the internet. If you're going to research - ask people on here. (ironic, I know - its still the internet lol) I would be glad to share all the knowledge that I know - which isn't much. There ARE people; who know ALOT - and they love to help people come to a better understanding of what it is we're dealing with when we say, "mental illness..." Truthfully - no matter how much knowledge you gain - from reading, writing, etc... You will never truly know - what mental illness is all about; until
you've felt it for yourself... Sounds to me - like you have. Realize that its a part of you, that there is no cure, that its going to get worse if you let it
. You just gotta find a way to deal with it the best you can; with what you have. And that starts with ACCEPTING
Just like the other people mentioned - usually these symptoms run hand in hand with eachother... There is schizophrenia, bipolar 1, bipolar 2, clythomia (Or something like that), Schizoaffective disorder. Most of the symptoms are the same - aside from the fact that bipolar is centered around moods - whereas schizophrenia is centered more around psychosis / psychotic symptoms.
All I'm trying to say is - don't
get caught up on the diagnosis, it isn't worth it. The answer lies with learning to deal with your symptoms - not with the category that your symptoms fall under.
Afterall - they're pretty much treated the same way by psychiatrists, aside from a few minor differences like mood stabalizers.
I wish you the best in finding answers
to your problems. Just know - they don't always lie in the same place(s)...