Suffering from bad thoughtbroadcasting people playing tricks on me
Here's the thing, in the past people were playing tricks with me and i know this for a fact because i heard them in the next room, family members. They were pretending to read my mind by reading my subvocalizing, i "think" in my throat and in the back of my throat with my mouth closed. Why? Because i don't have an inner voice yet, i hear all kinds of stupid music in my head and its so loud that i think that other people can hear it. And on top of that, i can't control my thoughts because i can hear the neighbors talking outloud, and yes they do because i live in an apartment and i can hear them talking. Sometimes i hear one guy that said, can you hear him in his throat? What is this throat stuff? I'm trying so hard to subvocalize in my head/mind but it keeps ending up in my throat, and when i subvocalize in my throat i can't control what i say because i think the neighbors can hear. I need help learning how to think properly, or in other words, i need help learning how to subvocalize in my mind without using my throat, because i also talk outloud to myself when i'm thinking, and i hate doing that because it brings anxiety to my mind. Does anyone elese have a subvocalizing problem? Subvocalizing is hearing words in your mind as you read, but i never have that problem, my problem comes when i think. I'm trying so hard to think in my mind without actually having to hear an inner voice. My "inner voice" is in my throat and mouth when my mouth is closed, do you understand what i'm trying to say? Its like what a ventriliquist does except, i don't move my lips. The two main things that i want stopped are, 1-Music playing loud in my mind especially when machines in my house are running like the air conditioner, and i want to learn to subvocalize in my mind without moving my speech organs. Can anyone help me please?