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mes219 · 04-07-2010, 12:56 PM

I was wondering if anyone has ever had an experience with angels or spirits or demons? If anyone has ever had a dream about someone comming to them before they die and telling them goodbye? Maybe most folks would call it schizophrenia. That was what I was diagnoised with. But maybe it's more than that. Maybe there really are ghosts. I see them. I have had a meeting persay with a angel before. I don't see or feel them all the time but when I do it is either a beautiful feeling or makes me scared. Has anyone experienced this? if so what was it like...what did you see...and how did it look. ?

I used to believe in God. I was in fact a strong believer and I had faith that whatever I asked in prayer it would happen. Nearly everything that I ever really wanted and prayed about eventually came true. In the present I am on the fence about God.. Because science tells us there is no chance for it. But I am much more in question than believing in one thing or another. All I remember about the angel that came to my bed room window one night when I was alittle kid was that it was so beautiful and peaceful. She/he didn't seem male or female...just beautiful. The angel said do not be afraid or worried. everything in your life will turn out fine. just keep faith. Told me some other things about people in my life as well. It all turned out that what the angel was saying was true.

Now I don't know what to believe.. What are others beliefs? or do you just consider it apart of your mental illness or schizophrenia.?
Thanks!

AmVan · 04-07-2010, 01:25 PM

I've had similar religious experiences and I believe in them. BTY, get off the fence

I will explain more later... some pretty errie stuff. I've got to go to church right now!

mes219 · 04-07-2010, 06:34 PM

Thanks for taking interest in my post. I can't wait to hear your stories. hehe

I'm very interested in what others have experienced and what others believe.
I would love to believe in God. I just don't want to live my life believing in something I just really have no proof of. I would love to think there was a God. It would make me feel alot better knowing that there is a purpose for this world. ya know? That there is something after we die. One question AmVan..Do you have schizophrenia? I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was 19 right after being brutally raped. I nearly lost my mind..and was always a little weird and off from the "normal" but it pushed me over the edge. Now years later of being on medication I have decided to stop taking them FOREVER. I want my creativity back damnit! hehe. But yeah..I do not go to church but I do remember the way I used to feel when going.. I am still very spiritual person in the present. I believe more in angels or "spiritual beings" rather than a God up in the sky. Who knows. It's all up for debate! And thanks what I'd like to debate about. Or if there is people out there who just strongly believe its apart of being schizophrenic. Hearing the voices and such...anyways..Thanks !

AmVan · 04-08-2010, 08:58 AM

Mes219,

Yes, I'm schizophrenic too. Church is not important to have a spiritual relationship with God!! I love Him very much.

Okay, for my experience, even though I've had many. When I was 29 I was going through a painful divorce. My living conditions were bad and I was totaly stressed. Reading the bible got me through. One night I hallcinated (I don't spell too well) a demon in my room. He had the head if a lion and the body of a dauhound (dog). He just stood there baring his teeth at me. I kept telling him he wasn't real, that he was a hullcination. At that time he walked towards me then disapeared. It shook me up a bit but what really got me was 4 months later I was looking at a library book about demons and I opened it to a page of this exact same demon. It scared me so bad I closed it, put the book back and quckly walked away. I thought maybe I had seen this demon before on tv or a book or something but I know the "hallucination" was real and the first time I'd ever seen him. Looking back, I wish I had read the caption under his picture. Maybe it's best that I didn't.

That was my most memorial experience. I have many others but it mostly involved tactile experiences and strange feelings. Usually I was in prayer when these things took place.

I don't always explain myself well so hopefully you were able to understand this. What about your experiences?

AmVan

mes219 · 04-08-2010, 01:13 PM

I could understand you perfectly. I also have a hard time spelling too. I just look it up on google if I have trouble remembering how to spell something. I just put in definition of and then the word I am trying to spell. Maybe this will help you.

About what you said.., That sounds terrifying enough just seeing it. Then actually finding out that it was documented as a real demon. I probably would have gone back and later after claming down a bit..would of bought the book and studied it.

I hope no more demons come to you.

It's freaky hearing about it from someone else just now because this morning I was awakend by my dad knocking on my door. (I am living with my parents right now because I have no other options at this point in my life) But anyways.. I was half asleep and leaned up to see who or what it was and started screaming because I saw something that wasn't my dad nor was it human. It was this demonic looking devil sort of thing. Glowing skin like laulva and black eyes. My boyfriend laying beside me woke up and started screaming too. I looked away and then to my boyfriend thinking he saw it too and looked back at it and it was gone and then I could see and hear my dad. I got this terrible feeling afterwards like it was the end of the world or something.
Then he realized it was just my dad. Anyways it freaked both of us out after I told my boyfriend what I saw after he asked me why I was screaming like an animal.

Ok.. well .. My main profound good experience was about what I was talking about in my original post. I was around 12 or 13 and was constantly reading my bible at the time. My life was going fairly well at the time and I knew the bible like the back of my hand. I could flip to any book by name. I knew where they all were. I would write and write and pray and pray every night and particularly every chance I got. One night I had been praying and writing and thinking..and drifted off to sleep. Suddenly I awokend from my sleep and felt a presence in my room. I looked beside me and saw this sparkling creature that look very close to a human but shinny and pretty. Almost like an acrobat from a circus. Or simalar to a clown but not your typical clown of corse. I'm guessing it was a female but then again I wasnt sure. That wasn't the point. The point was it was so magical and beautiful. I don't know what else to call it other than an angel. But it came to me and talked to me for awhile and told me not to worry about anything. That she/he would always be with me.

I have also had alot of experiences where I have felt good energy or bad energy. It could be any random/normal places I go. Well thats pretty much all I can really recall right now.
I wanted to ask are you taking any medication for schizophrenia? Have you delt with it all your life? What makes you so sure there is a God out there? I have been on all types of medication for the last 3 years and through time i've gotten better and alittle less insane.

Now I don't believe in meds to help. I think taking a pill only dulls your brain and blocks things that should not be blocked. I feel much better off all the pills. But that's just my own personal feeling.
Hope you're doing well.
I hope my this message was easy to read.

I look forward to hearing back from you!

mes219

AmVan · 04-09-2010, 11:00 AM

I really want to get back with you on this thread but I'm so sleepy now! I did try to find the book at the library the next week and couldn't find it anywhere! ttyl.

AmVan · 04-09-2010, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmVan

I really want to get back with you on this thread but I'm so sleepy now! I did try to find the book at the library the next week and couldn't find it anywhere! ttyl.

I just took a nap

Anyway, I know there's a God because I've changed. I couldn't have changed myself like this. I used to not like people but I'm reaching out now. My church is so accepting of my akward ways and that makes it easier. I look at the smallest molecule to the universe and I know someone had to make this. I used to have a powerful telescope and space seemed so alive. You could see things moving around (?) and just the sence that there was so much life out there was overwhelming. That's a little of the reasons I believe in God.

I take Geodon, lamictal and prozac. Also ambien and valium. Along with the schizophrenia I have borderline personality and dissociative disorders. I was abused very badly as a child. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and that it brought about your nervous breakdown. Life can really be hard.

mes219 · 04-09-2010, 04:02 PM

lol tis fine!

mes219 · 04-09-2010, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmVan

I just took a nap

Anyway, I know there's a God because I've changed. I couldn't have changed myself like this. I used to not like people but I'm reaching out now. My church is so accepting of my akward ways and that makes it easier. I look at the smallest molecule to the universe and I know someone had to make this. I used to have a powerful telescope and space seemed so alive. You could see things moving around (?) and just the sence that there was so much life out there was overwhelming. That's a little of the reasons I believe in God.

I take Geodon, lamictal and prozac. Also ambien and valium. Along with the schizophrenia I have borderline personality and dissociative disorders. I was abused very badly as a child. I'm sorry to hear about your situation and that it brought about your nervous breakdown. Life can really be hard.

Neat, I wish I had a powerful telescope! I love looking up at the sky and watching for shooting stars. I'm very close to believing in God. There is one verse that I like. Come near to God and God will come near to you. I forget where exactly that is in the bible but it is comforting.

I'm doing really good so far off my medicine. Just more emotional. I used to take Geodon, lamictal, buspar, ablify, paxcill. For me it was just too much meds to be taking all at once 3 times daily and stuff. Plus side effects of weight gain and other things like not being able to enjoy or get into things as deeply.

You're truely right..life can be really hard. It is so painful sometimes when I have flashbacks of those bad memories. I don't really know how to deal with getting over the hurt and pain that stays with me as it seems. If I may ask more about what you mentioned about your childhood..or if you'd rather send a personal message. Don't feel presured to tho. I understand either way.
I was just mainly wondering how you've delt with it your whole life up untill now.
I'm sorry to hear that about you. That makes me angery and sad..I don't know how people get so evil. Nor how they live with themselfs being so evil.
I had a good childhood and it didn't get bad untill I was 15. It's been kinda a rollarcoaster up untill now. Now I feel as if I am much more in control. Learning from my mistakes and such. Hope you have a good weekend.
Talk to you later

AmVan · 04-11-2010, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mes219

I could understand you perfectly. I also have a hard time spelling too. I just look it up on google if I have trouble remembering how to spell something. I just put in definition of and then the word I am trying to spell. Maybe this will help you.

About what you said.., That sounds terrifying enough just seeing it. Then actually finding out that it was documented as a real demon. I probably would have gone back and later after claming down a bit..would of bought the book and studied it.

I hope no more demons come to you.

It's freaky hearing about it from someone else just now because this morning I was awakend by my dad knocking on my door. (I am living with my parents right now because I have no other options at this point in my life) But anyways.. I was half asleep and leaned up to see who or what it was and started screaming because I saw something that wasn't my dad nor was it human. It was this demonic looking devil sort of thing. Glowing skin like laulva and black eyes. My boyfriend laying beside me woke up and started screaming too. I looked away and then to my boyfriend thinking he saw it too and looked back at it and it was gone and then I could see and hear my dad. I got this terrible feeling afterwards like it was the end of the world or something.
Then he realized it was just my dad. Anyways it freaked both of us out after I told my boyfriend what I saw after he asked me why I was screaming like an animal.

Ok.. well .. My main profound good experience was about what I was talking about in my original post. I was around 12 or 13 and was constantly reading my bible at the time. My life was going fairly well at the time and I knew the bible like the back of my hand. I could flip to any book by name. I knew where they all were. I would write and write and pray and pray every night and particularly every chance I got. One night I had been praying and writing and thinking..and drifted off to sleep. Suddenly I awokend from my sleep and felt a presence in my room. I looked beside me and saw this sparkling creature that look very close to a human but shinny and pretty. Almost like an acrobat from a circus. Or simalar to a clown but not your typical clown of corse. I'm guessing it was a female but then again I wasnt sure. That wasn't the point. The point was it was so magical and beautiful. I don't know what else to call it other than an angel. But it came to me and talked to me for awhile and told me not to worry about anything. That she/he would always be with me.

I have also had alot of experiences where I have felt good energy or bad energy. It could be any random/normal places I go. Well thats pretty much all I can really recall right now.
I wanted to ask are you taking any medication for schizophrenia? Have you delt with it all your life? What makes you so sure there is a God out there? I have been on all types of medication for the last 3 years and through time i've gotten better and alittle less insane.

Now I don't believe in meds to help. I think taking a pill only dulls your brain and blocks things that should not be blocked. I feel much better off all the pills. But that's just my own personal feeling.
Hope you're doing well.
I hope my this message was easy to read.

I look forward to hearing back from you!

mes219

AmVan · 04-11-2010, 06:30 PM

Hi again, your angel experience sounds really beautiful. Espcially being so young would make it very special to me. I hope you take a lot of comfort in it.

I think I was just reading where you just stopped taking your meds (?) Please be careful, you don't need me to tell you how freightning pyscosis is.

I remember when I had my first nervous breakdown, I was 21, and I dreamed the devil was sitting cross legged like a buddha looking at me and he took a knife and cut himself then spread the wound open for me to see. That's strange. Your dreaming made me think of that. That was just a dream, though.

See ya ... take care with your meds.

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