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Old 06-09-2010, 07:20 PM   #1
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PrincessPotato HB User
Needing some support

I can't sleep at night everything in my room seems scary. I keep getting up and checking the window to see if anyone is there. I think someone is going to break in and kill my family. Also I keep thinking aliens are going to come and get us and it worries me so much I can't sleep. I have been hallucinating... which doesn't help. They upped my Abilify to 20mgs, Next week it will be 25. The max is 30mgs If that doesn't work then I have to try Clozaril because I will have ran out of anti-psychotics to try. Living like this is driving me bonkers... well more bonkers then usual. I just had to get this out and I hope that maybe someone understands. I know I sound crazy and this is not logical at all but it is what I believe. Part of me thinks that my doctor is actually poisoning me. I take my medication now but I had stopped it before. I have been dealing with all of this for many years. Ever since I was a child actually.

Thanks for reading and replying

 
Old 06-12-2010, 11:13 AM   #2
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jellybread HB Userjellybread HB Userjellybread HB User
Re: Needing some support

I know how it feels to be frustrated about meds. I pratically tried ever anti-psychotic in the book and ran out of options. But hang in there! Can you get support from consoling or a close friend?

I get paranoid all the time, but differently. I am paranoid that my folks and the people around me, my pastors and policemen are spying on me, putting hidden cameras in my bedroom, bathroom, and in my car so that they can see my every move and hear whatever I say. I feel I don't have any privacy and i am scared of what they will think when they see me in the camers. Sometimes it drives me nuts, I can't stand being watched all the time! And what makes it worse is that my mom will call me and say that she got this uneasy feeling from God that something is wrong with me, or I must have done something wrong that I should not have done! Is God also tattle telling to my parents my every move? There are cameras everywhere I say!

But you know what? Just telling a good understanding friend my paranoias has helped me alot. I only have one good friend I can tell, and she does not condemn me, or say I am crazy, she just tells me everything is going to be alright and comforts me. I hope you find a friend like that because meds didn't work for me.

 
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