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Old 07-03-2010, 09:20 AM   #1
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Stories

I'll introduce myself and tell you a little of my story.

I got hit at about twenty five. Thats when my thoughts started to get a little funny. I thought people could hear my thoughts. Eventually I thought the whole world could see and hear my thoughts. Then I remembered languages and then it was just people who spoke English. I thought i was God.
as the years went by one day, i remember the day and the minute i began to her voices. I had made it twenty nine years without them but i remember the exact minute they showed up. I fought with them for three days. I went to a priest and they gave me holy water and a prayer book. they told me the litany prayer would help. they wouldn't let me sleep - Screaming in my ears names, "You ************!, You ************! We'll never leave! Your ours now! Your unbelievable! I love you" when i would think of Christ - "I hate you! I hate you!"
Three days without sleep i got weak and couldn't fight them anymore. They told me they were legion and i lost control of my body. "Now go get the gun and shoot yourself!" I went for my gun. luckily it was locked away in a five hundred pound safe. I had to open my window and push the screen in, bending it. So i could hold on to the ledge and keep myself from grabbing a knife. My body was jerking to get to the knife, all i could do was hold on. I was hospitalized that night and they gave me a shot of something, a sedative.
i'm told i'm a Paranoid Schizophrenic. Just a few nights ago i almost went back. Felt like i was losing control again. being broken down by something thats seems to be purely evil. They wont stop. It has manifested itself as Demonic Possession. They're demons and they tell me this. Anyway
Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else? i'd like to hear your stories even if they aren't like mine.

M

Last edited by M1chae1; 07-11-2010 at 05:23 PM.

 
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Old 07-27-2010, 02:19 AM   #2
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Re: Stories

I thought people can heard my mind and knows my thoughts. I always fought with my husband and my mother without any reason because I thought they don't like me. I thought I am a virgin Marry and I have power to move the clouds and etc. One day I lost reality and I heard voices to tell me I have to respect and to be respected because I am God. My husband send me to the hospital because I always vomit without any reason. I was laughing on the bed and talking to God. I clime the bamboos with no cloths on. That is why my husband very worried about me. I shouted to the public place begging to the people for killed me because I want to die. Luckily my brother followed me everywhere and no body killed me.

This is my story before. But now the medicine cured me. I am happy and live with normal life again.

 
Old 07-28-2010, 02:02 PM   #3
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Re: Stories

The demons were out to get me too....they spoke to me and it was very, very scary. I am afraid they condemned me because i met a profoundly evil priest and he did something to me spiritually....i am not the same...i dont have the same connection to the Divine...my psychiatrist and everyone say its just delusions but it seemed so real to me...and how can i be different after the meeting with the priest if its not real....

 
Old 07-29-2010, 06:06 PM   #4
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Re: Stories

Hello,

I am new to this site. Here is some of my story: I've been taking medicine for some time now for my illness, yet I still hear audible voices in my head at times and in my ears at times (spirits) and it seems that they have access into causing me to feel certain things. I've come across several of them....some voices that seem to be for the good and some that seem not to be- one has a death wish on me, others I hadn't quite figured out. A chorus of them told me that I'm under a spell. Even still another claimed that he healed me and said what his name is. They only seem to visit me during the night while I'm asleep and sometimes I hear them when I wake up during the night. As for during the day, there's this heavy pressure in my head that's been going on for about a year. The voices are very faint during the day- they're not as loud and clear as during the night. Most of the times, it seems as if I've lost connections with God and some foreign force has authority over me. The only time I do not feel this pressure is when I am on my knees praying. When I'm praying, the pressure is lifted and there's this alumining feeling in my head- kinda cool. But then, I carry on and there goes that pressure again. Oh and one of the voices seem to try to set me up to get me to do something or think something bizarre that would anger the Lord- as hard as I strive to live a clean life. And this female voice even told me that God's countenance was of anger towards me. Then a voice told me, "We're not angry with you anymore." For me, it's like an unending roller coaster, because I'm constantly being bounced around from one episode to the other. That's some of my story.

Last edited by Selah123; 07-29-2010 at 06:17 PM.

 
Old 07-31-2010, 08:10 PM   #5
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Re: Stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cres View Post
I thought people can heard my mind and knows my thoughts. I always fought with my husband and my mother without any reason because I thought they don't like me. I thought I am a virgin Marry and I have power to move the clouds and etc. One day I lost reality and I heard voices to tell me I have to respect and to be respected because I am God. My husband send me to the hospital because I always vomit without any reason. I was laughing on the bed and talking to God. I clime the bamboos with no cloths on. That is why my husband very worried about me. I shouted to the public place begging to the people for killed me because I want to die. Luckily my brother followed me everywhere and no body killed me.

This is my story before. But now the medicine cured me. I am happy and live with normal life again.
Hi Cres, don't climb the bamboo naked anymore ok. I'm very happy to hear that your feeling better.

 
Old 07-31-2010, 08:14 PM   #6
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Re: Stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayne0240 View Post
The demons were out to get me too....they spoke to me and it was very, very scary. I am afraid they condemned me because i met a profoundly evil priest and he did something to me spiritually....i am not the same...i dont have the same connection to the Divine...my psychiatrist and everyone say its just delusions but it seemed so real to me...and how can i be different after the meeting with the priest if its not real....
Hi Rayne, I don't think the priest did anything to you? Believe me you'll find God if you really want to. I know that He does not turn anyone away.

 
Old 07-31-2010, 08:20 PM   #7
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Re: Stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Selah123 View Post
Hello,

I am new to this site. Here is some of my story: I've been taking medicine for some time now for my illness, yet I still hear audible voices in my head at times and in my ears at times (spirits) and it seems that they have access into causing me to feel certain things. I've come across several of them....some voices that seem to be for the good and some that seem not to be- one has a death wish on me, others I hadn't quite figured out. A chorus of them told me that I'm under a spell. Even still another claimed that he healed me and said what his name is. They only seem to visit me during the night while I'm asleep and sometimes I hear them when I wake up during the night. As for during the day, there's this heavy pressure in my head that's been going on for about a year. The voices are very faint during the day- they're not as loud and clear as during the night. Most of the times, it seems as if I've lost connections with God and some foreign force has authority over me. The only time I do not feel this pressure is when I am on my knees praying. When I'm praying, the pressure is lifted and there's this alumining feeling in my head- kinda cool. But then, I carry on and there goes that pressure again. Oh and one of the voices seem to try to set me up to get me to do something or think something bizarre that would anger the Lord- as hard as I strive to live a clean life. And this female voice even told me that God's countenance was of anger towards me. Then a voice told me, "We're not angry with you anymore." For me, it's like an unending roller coaster, because I'm constantly being bounced around from one episode to the other. That's some of my story.

Hello Selah I feel similar to you sometimes. The voices will turn into this loud ringing in my ears. They tell me things i don't think my mind would make up as well. Like "We're helping you!"

Zyprexa has been helping me. Sometimes there are no voices. dont think God is angry with you. we all sin

 
Old 08-02-2010, 01:08 AM   #8
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Re: Stories

Hello, I thought the same way when I was very sick. I thought i was talking to God and praying the God and etc. But risperidone helping me a lot to live a better life again.

My paranoia and the voices was gone and I am happy now. I think I am normal again.

 
Old 08-03-2010, 04:52 PM   #9
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Re: Stories

'dont think God is angry with you. we all sin'...

I hope this is true... Thanks

 
Old 08-04-2010, 02:07 PM   #10
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Re: Stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Selah123 View Post
'dont think God is angry with you. we all sin'...

I hope this is true... Thanks
Your welcome Selah It's up to you weather you believe in God or not. If you do then you know he's a God of love

 
Old 09-15-2010, 02:54 PM   #11
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Re: Stories

yes, but I don't want to talk about it. If they are demons then you have to stand up to them.

 
Old 09-18-2010, 12:30 PM   #12
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Re: Stories

There's a reason for everything. And I believe that in all things, good is for those who love God.

 
Old 10-07-2010, 10:04 PM   #13
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Re: Stories

The voices will tell you whatever they think is close enough to whatever you already believe. So if you really, really wanted the priests to excise the demons, that's probably why you heard, "You're ours!" And if you actually thought that Jesus could save you, they might have just cursed to make things more complicated.

I started hearing voices pretty gradually. First it was a few abstract remarks between me and a friend, and pretty soon I was hearing everyone. For a while I took advantage of the situation. I had fun with it. Soon, though, the fun was over. I believed I was really in connection with the people I knew, so it all started to become unbearable. Everyone was in constant connection with everyone else. This was a complete illusion in my mind, but I believed it at the time.

So I talked to Jesus, Isacc Newton, Buddha, Einstein. I talked to a lot of people. Most interesting figure was Buddha. Very enigmatic man. Jesus was great too. Einstein turned out to be a possessive jerk about his theory of light.

Anyway, eventually I had to learn how it was possible that I could be listening to so many different voices. Naturally, I brought the devil into the picture. So, at first he was just another personality in my web of delusion. But after a while I learned that this "devil" was actually the cause for all my other hallucinations. I had a very intimate relationship with this being. I wasn't so naive as to conclude that he was the be-all, end-all supreme devil of all time. But I realized he was powerful enough to know all these personalities and imitate them. So, it was around this time that I sort of unraveled the whole mystery.

In other words, there weren't a bunch of spirits hanging around me and I wasn't talking to my friends and family telepathically, and they weren't out to kill me...I was just being deceived by the devil. And who else? I mean that's WHAT he does, right? Anyhow.

For about three days, I hit some particular button in my head and suddenly this character's sense of humor just went off. So, for three days me and this character we're cracking humorous little jokes and it got to the point where I couldn't stop laughing. One thing I learned about society is that no one cares AT ALL what you're doing. For instance, if you're in a restaurant and you're sitting in a booth laughing to yourself, no one really cares. For three days I laughed and laughed and laughed. After three days, my mind went so pleasantly empty that I was drawn, step by step, to my mother's house -by the voice...and after this I was admitted to hospital.

From there...well thing's just got weirder...but anyhow...

 
Old 10-09-2010, 11:18 AM   #14
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Re: Stories

I can relate to what was experienced above. The enemy is a deceiver. He deceived me on several occasions with this illness. If we're not careful and knowledgable, we can become decieved over and over. I know it certainly takes being in the Word of God in order to know the way that God operates. In reading the post, I was reminded of one of the many occurrances that I experienced. I was laughing a great deal about something at one particular time- just to ignore being hurt by some deceiving spirit. I actually thought that I had this really deep relationship with God... I mean deeper than, what I thought, anyone had ever experienced. I actually saw God causing the sun to rise in the evening, which was indeed an amazingly miraculaous event. Then some days later, after all of the laughing and talking with who I thought was God, it turned out that it was not Him. The good feelings were gone all of a sudden and there were these other characters invading my mind.... It seemed as though it was some force of evil. They were implanting unwanted thoughts in my head. I had to go to the hospital and I have never fully recovered. I still hear from the "force" that invaded me. And the only way that I can cope or get through this difficult issue that I'm experiencing, is to acknowledge God in this rough place. Maybe it's faith or some may call it "wishful thinking", but I actually did finally get to see Jesus the Christ in a vision of the night- just the other night. And every time that I saw Him in His glory, His bronze arms were extended as though He was welcoming me to draw near to Him. I saw His arms extended crystal clear- and He appeared to me in the heavens. He willed it for me to see Him completely and then I felt an alumination in my being. There were 4 creatures surrounding Him. I was so sure it was Him. Then as I began to venture to see the scars in His hands, He then began to disappear. Now that was one of the many experiences I had. At any rate, now, whenever I have an occurrance, I look in to the scriptures to find out if it would be accurately from God or not. I was deceived in some episodes. For instance, some other voice asked me, "What makes you think that God is in EVERY place?" Based on scripture, I know that God is in every place, because He Himself said that He fills Heaven and Earth, His eyes are in every place, and, He is not far from each one of us. I have learned, a little bit more, since that "downfall episode in 2009". I learned a little bit better how to discern whether the voice is from God or from the enemy or even a foreign spirit. The only thing I am trying to figure out is: Why would God, in His Word, say that ALL things are of Him? or that He works all things in all people? Whenever I read a passage which talks about all things being of Him, I am perplexed, because I believe that is what lead to my down fall in 2009. It is best to get as much confirmation from God regarding an episode, before determining the voices and visions to be of God or someone else.

Last edited by Selah123; 10-09-2010 at 11:20 AM.

 
Old 10-09-2010, 04:17 PM   #15
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Re: Stories

I read you're first post, and noticed what you said about the heavy pressure in your head. I can relate to that. Honestly, I think the both of us could probably write a book about the subject. I'll just throw a few situations out there, to see if we've experienced the same things.

Maybe the first is the way this character sounds. He's got a kind of spicy sound to his voice. He's extremely intelligent, but seems to find the most ridiculous things to be the funniest. And he has a lot of jokes that seem as if he's had them since the beginning of time. There was one I shared with the Buddha, when I thought it was the Buddha.

One day, he sort of suddenly came up in my mind. He was extremely over energized. Actually, I sort of remember him taking a big amount of energy from my body. Then he became just super hyperactive. He was reading my thoughts, and sort of expressing them in different ways. Then I would hear my self asking him a question, and he would say something along the lines of "There will be time for that later." And then I would kind of reply in some small way, and again he would say something like "We'll talk about that, but later." And it started to get very funny, and hysterically frightening, because I wasn't sure if this spirit would ever stop saying, "We can talk about that, but later," but it was just purely hilarious, so I didn't care. He would often make a joke that he didn't mean to make. And we'd both laugh. And he'd kind of go, "Whaaaa....? What did I say " There was a very ancient Aryan kind of flavor to everything he said, and I found that the devil was the most like him in all the ways he spoke and expressed things.

My view on God would not make sense to very many people. I've been in a state where it was only me, the voice, and a room. In this room, which felt like the only thing in the entire universe, there were no separations between what I thought and what he thought. I also couldn't determine if it was me thinking the thoughts or Him. And the truth was that somehow He had brought me to this room with Him, and changed things so that at this one pivotal moment what I thought, what he thought, and what happened at every second -was a completely unified process of just one thought. Somehow I wish I could express the way time was involved. But it wouldn't help. The point I want to make is that when I had this experience I knew that the force inside me was everywhere.

Because the voice talked to me and I talked to it, there was an impression of separation. But I don't believe this separation exists at all. I believe that we all share that one consciousness. I believe that we think we're all separate beings, because it's extremely human to fall into a false sense of identity, a false sense of separation from one another. Sometimes I wake up in the morning when I haven't had the time to think in my familiar thinking patterns. At this time I tend to feel and hear and know and intuit what my wife is thinking and what my cat is thinking. I tend to feel that general nature of consciousness. And I can tell that we're all submerged in it. But as soon as I begin to want to get up, or think about something that's going to happen during the day, that personal part of me that is too hyper and is constantly ignorant of our shared consciousness begins to take over.

I see my self as a separate being. Many things about me are distinctly me, like my shape, my form, my voice, and so on. The same is true about God. But I don't think of God as God. I think there are many very "high-up" beings which simply share the universal consciousness without any disturbance in the continuity of it. So, when I come face to face with who I think is God, I might just be interacting with a highly advanced being. One that I can't distinguish from another. The reason I even hear them is because, as I said, we all share this universal consciousness. Humans are just picky and difficult. The Others are extremely patient and calm. They're also somewhat hostile. And this is why you'll hear them joking with you. And I believe it's actually just a simple way for them to co-exist with our overactive minds while staying still. I don't think that the Others even care or really put effort into half the things they say to us (those of us who can hear them, anyway...the schizophrenics).

Anyway, this is my closest way of describing God. I don't think He's the devil. But I don't think He's an individual. Instead, He is a part of this very vast and deep consciousness. But, the way He interacts with me makes Him a specific being in a way. But when I see Him in his universal state, I understand that He really is God in a way. I am a human and He is something else, something far more advanced than me. And even if there were thousands and thousands of Him it would be the same Him, because the universe has just one thought, one steady pool of consciousness.

So, when people say that God is within us, I think it's true. I think we're just not qualified to realize it and make it stay for very long. Then again, I believe that individuals are God. I don't believe that God is just another word for "Universal Consciousness", because we all have universal consciousness...it's the highly evolved beings that are actually there experiencing it all the time. And they're also the one's who have the power to use it.

The headaches, I know about. They start with an inexpressible fear that everything is going to go away. This fills a person with emptiness. The person fights the emptiness, but only ends up forming beliefs that bind their mind. The beliefs are very active and changing. I believed strongly that the world was going to flash away in a brilliant, warm, comforting white light. But this was only after months of battling with an indescribably horrible darkness. In the end, my own false beliefs just wouldn't work with reality, and my very thought structure led to the eventual crushing in of my mind.

I know that headache feels like a bind. Like something evil has gripped your mind and you're in a place where you can't believe this has happened to you. It's a feeling that you can't accept. The feeling comes in degrees. I think that a large majority of people get this feeling, but manage to survive in the world long enough for it to go away, once their thinking patterns have changed.

For me the feeling went very deep and lasted four years. It went away and I went through a feeling of spiritual freedom that was very nice. At the very height of the release, my entire body and mind were completely set free from the gravity or the weight that consciousness puts on us.

I think an important part of being has to do with staying in touch with consciousness. This consciousness gives reality and weight to our feelings and our perceptions. But when you meditate hard enough, for long enough, and don't eat very much, everything begins to loosen up. The bonds that bind your body to your feelings, and your mind to your perceptions gets freed. In other words your karmic formation, that very thing which is most you, -is released from your bodily form and the influence of perceptions.

In Buddhism, this is a state called neither perception nor non-perception. I've been in that state, but not for very long. In a sense I experienced Universal Consciousness that day. I remember too, what a feeling of power I had. I also remember that my very human tendencies eventually led me to fall out of that state and try to make mischief with the powers that had been given to me by the process of entering that place.

After that happened, my headaches we're gone for good. And then the hallucinations began.

Last edited by hathada; 10-09-2010 at 04:37 PM.

 
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