hello i am struggeling with mental illness form a very young age maybe 7 wen i started pulling my own hair out while screaming but that was the start dad left my mother and 3 kids includeing me being the oldest n little twin brother n sister toddlers the seperation was bad enough but haveing no dad and a mum on drink for 8 yrs after that in her care wasent gd but i never fault her shes my mother and shes clean now but the stress of it all left me to go homeless then into all sorts of drugs since age 15 wen i ranaway till 20 acid cocane speed lsd magic mushrooms the lot exept herion thank god but age 15 till 20 aswell was in 2 relationships with 2 drug dealing cheating abuseive boyfriends and the drugs wer there and was my escape i have severe anxiety now and find it hard to hold down a job or relationship sometimes i push them away so i dnt ge hurt first or get too emotionally attached easily i think and even tho all of this i am not violent and appreciate the simple things in the world but just feel i cannot enjoy the world as i should now this makes me feel bad i cant act how normal ppl act i kno i am different and after the yrs its just got worse sometimes i feel as if my life is cursed and had a really stressfull day one da and thought the devil or the deamons wer coming to get me ust coz of stress and pure anxiety i ended up haveing a panic attack on a train since 17 till now recently i have been hearing voices the one at 17 yrs old was one thats ill always remember coz it was the first time experienceing it and how it came about wat hapend was my bf was found out that he cheated on me 3 times i kept taking him bak tho but it didnt stop the hurt and i woke up next to him wen i herd a voice a girls voice trying to talk to my bf i got up instantly and checked the whole house while she laffed at me and he was saying there was no1 there and there wasent but a the time i beleived there was looking back now i kno there wasent recent one was my little sisters voice and her little boyfriend mocking me even tho they wer in another room i could hear theyr muffles in the real life but no actual words but words came after it and they wer mocking me i have also heard a babys cry in my old house after my bf cheated with a girl who had a baby at the time i searched the house nothing iv also heard music a band playing and once my mum and sister mocking me but they wernt iv had about 7 voices since 17 till now 22 i also cut myself at 16 a couple of times and have threatend suicide alot i am going to meet a phsyciatric nurse for the first time after putting it off for years and i am glad and maybe ill get some answers had a voice hullucination 2day and thats whats brought me here 2nyt just wanted to see if eny1 had any input or feedback from this so long as my lifestory hasent bored you to tears already lol but thanx if you do id appreciate it much love mysterious world x
Last edited by littomissme; 09-03-2010 at 08:28 PM.
Re: please help do you think i have schitzophrenia? x
does it matter what u have,all it is a label.ok u have szco now what?ok u dont have it now what?Your asking the wrong questions.Just accept what god has planned for u.I promise u wont go a moment before your time.