First time I Talked About This! - Schizophrenia Message Board

MelNor · 08-31-2002, 02:53 AM

Hi everyone...I don't really know where to begin on this one but I can say for me to explain in full, it will not be short...so please bare with me!

11 years ago I got involved in a relationship and things moved quite quickly and we ended up moving in together, probably because I was too young and naieve to realize what I was getting into. Within 3 months I was pregnant.

The first few months were not all that bad, but then wierd epposodes (now that I think about it) started taking place, first about jealousy. He would constantly watch me and then later get mad and accuse me of all kind of things that never happened...or anything even close to them. He got extremely paranoid every time he couldn't find something in the house and start ranting and raving, accusing everyone who had been in the house for the last year of stealing it. He would later find what he was looking for and it was usually just someplace he put it and forgot.

After about a year of this, he then began telling me about hearing voices...he would ask "Did you hear that??" I would say "hear what?" and he would get upset and mad because he thought I was lying. He said when he was doing something he could hear ppl. talking and discussing what he was doing and usually he would say they were critisizing how he was doing whatever he was doing. (eg-working on car) He called them spirits and said if he yelled swear words at them, they would go away.

I don't know why I stayed with him...I think part of me was scared of him and what he would do. Needless to say the years went on and things just got worse and worse. The jealousy got so bad he would wait until I changed for bed at night then sneak into the laundry hamper to check for the underwear I wore that day to smell them to see if he could smell another man!!! It was insane!!!

He hated all my friends and would be so rude to them that they all hated him eventually too. He was convinced they were always up to no good and wanted me to be involved.

Among far too many things to list...daily routines for him was buring his money in the basement, hanging thick blankets all over the windows so no one could see in, and constantly assuming everyone was out to get him.

To make matters worse he was severly abused by his father and he also had a nasty pot addiction. He then began growing pot in the forest somewhere and then he started to think hellicopters were following him everywhere he went. (Which they weren't)

After 3 years we had 2 children, but while our 14 month old son was with him at the family cottage, he fell in the lake and drowned. He got worse after this, he even told me once that his father (who died 3 years earlier) made this happen to our son as a way of paying him back for not letting him beat his mother when he got older.

Wierd part was that although he saved his mother from his father he had not quams hitting me whenever he felt the need to dream I fooled around on him.

I left him 3 years ago and we (me and my daughter) moved to another province to try to get our life together again. I tried living in the same town but it was impossible, I would wake up in the night and he would be looking in my bedroom window, or sometime he would even find a way in and I would wake up to him standing there masturbating by the side of my bed. It was too much for me to handle and I was worried for our safety. I know your probably amazed that a person would do this but it's not just the things I mentioned...the sexual perversion was obscene and unbelievable.

On the first summer after we left against my wishes, the courts ordered that he could have our daughter for the summer. It was a disaster...first of all, he tried to convince her that I was abusing her and he hauled her to every doctor in the province to try and get someone... anyone to agree with him. Thank god, my daughter at age 6 was able to stand her ground pretty well under the circumstances...I am very proud of her courage.

Once the abuse accuzations failed he then decided he was going to run with her...he took off and went to Niagra Falls and the police were concerned that it was so close to the boarder and they thought he might try to get into the US. It was the worse week of my life...they eventually caught him and the police took our daughter from him as it was past the court ordered visitation.

He kept these antics up for a while but now he has a new hobby...there is a company in the town he lives in and they are polluting the water and killing everyone!! He has spra painted the whole front of his house with slogans about the company and how they are killing everyone! Honest to God...I am so embarrased and I feel so bad for my daughter, he is crazy but he is her Dad!

Before we seperated I tried to talk to his very large family about his mental well being...they all recognize he has problems but no one wants to get him committed...scared to maybe, ashamed...I don't know!

I don't know what is wrong with him...with the symptoms I explained...could it be Schizophrenia or some other form of mental ilness.

Its really too bad that he will never get help because his family won't force him for the initial help, and he won't admit he has a problem.

I have tried to put this in my past but I will always have one connection ...our daughter!! At some point will someone else be able to intervene and get him on a path to getting help? Its really sad that it seems his family will chose to wait until he kills someone, or himself, or something else tragic happens before they will give in to the shame it might cause them!

OMG...this is a long post and if your still here...I thank you with all my heart for listening!

Mel

PS-Oh yeah, he also can't work anymore, he stays on welfare because his body burns inside, he got poisioned from chemicals at his last job, he is having a heart attack, his knees got blew out from playing hockey when he was 7, and he is riddled with arthritis! OMG!!!!! Please help!!

Kokopelli · 08-31-2002, 05:44 PM

Mel

I see alot of resembelance (spelling) as to what My brother goes through. Unfortunantly since he is an adult he has to ok the medical help. Schitzophrenia is such a difficult illness as even though people have spent years trying to figure it out there is still so little they know. Schitzophrenia is an illness that is constantly changing that persons behavior it's scarey. I have found though after taking care of my brother (he is 33) that schitzophrenics think in Black and white so to say. There is no in between or rational thinking like a normal person. They honestly do hear the voices and they become such slaves to their illness alot of them live shorter lives Or become very addicted to drugs and alcahol. For example my brother was drinking four to six bottles of cough syrup (something that would kill most of us). He drank a whole bottle of windex one time. That has bleach in it..

I guess what I am trying to say and it's hard because David ended up in jail so he could no longer hurt us or himself. but what I am saying is even though he is your daughters father after all I read about your family. I would stay away, as much as possible till your daughter is a little older or untill your ex receives the help he needs. life is going to be an ongoing nightmare unless somehow someway we come up with something that will help these people. Mel I must say most of them are innocent individuals living their own ungodly nightmare and a prisoner in their own bodies. It's sad and thats why so many of us try to get together and learn more about it. I hope my post made sense.. if you have some questions please please post them and your feelings.

hugs
Koko