Is this normal? - Schizophrenia Message Board

musicgurl · 04-14-2003, 06:58 PM

Hi, I'm new here and I just wondered if what I'm experiencing is normal or not. When I'm bored, or stressed, voices (usually my friends voices) pop in my head and have conversations with me. I can't control what they say, or what I say back. Also, sometimes when I'm trying to think about something, this music in my head will get so loud I can't think straight, and the harder I try to get it to go away, the louder the music gets. Recently, I've had these strange voices in my head shouting curse words. I want them to go away, but the more I tell them to go away, the more they seem to scream. I also have daydreams almost 24/7, and I have no control over them either. Is all of this normal, or am I going crazy?

Thanks for listening.

arebe · 04-15-2003, 10:30 PM

I KNOW WHAT U MEAN!!!! I can relate to EVERYTHING you've said except for the curse word thing. I hold 'mock' conversations with my friends in my head that I have absolutely no control over. It's weird, the 'voices' of my friends in my head react exactly how my friends would react to a conversation in real life. I also daydream the most bizzare *** sh*t. There's definitely a totally seperate reality going on in my head. I hear music in my head all of the time and sometimes it really f*cks my thought process up. What really gets me is when songs play in my head and then they start morphing into other songs. For instance Aphex Twin morphing into Tori Amos's Rasberry Swirl. It really trips me out to say the least. Other times I just have to completely give in to it...So just to let you know that you're not alone...but there's a flipside/downside to this. You might have to be put on medication. I had to start taking zyprexa, although I haven't been diagnosed schizophrenic because I don't have any delusions, meaning I know that the stuff that I "hear" in my head isn't real, it's just stuff that my brain plays around with and that I have absolutely no control over. Keep yer chin up is all that I can say, I'm just as confused and biwildered as you are.

musicgurl · 04-16-2003, 03:10 PM

Hey arebe! Glad to hear someone else out there understands! Everytime I try to tell someone about it, they usually get a very strange look on their face. I've never been to a doctor about it, do you think I should? Could this be a sign of schizophrenia? I don't have any delusions, but I am extremly paranoid. When walking around a store or something, I always think someone's following me or wanting to mug me or something. I'm even paranoid walking around my own house with all the doors locked! Anymore input would be appreciated!

Thanks for your reply!

arebe · 04-16-2003, 08:00 PM

I don't know if it's a sign of schizophrenia or not. My doctor didn't give me any straight diagnosis, but I think he may be holding back. As for you, if you can live with this thing then I don't see any reason for you to consult a doctor. Unless ofcourse it's putting a damper on your life. When this stuff started happening to me back in August of '02 I knew it wasn't normal and it slowly got worse the more I ignored it. I was also smoking alot of pot at the time and also using psychedelic drugs on occasion, which didn't help my situation any. At my worst point my brain was spitting out random words and phrases at me that I had no control over. I still feel myself slipping away into the void so to speak (I don't know how else to describe it) but I still have hope. There's also some other symptoms I experience that are beyond the diagnostic model of schizophrenia. I have these horrible thoughts pop into my head that 'feel' like stabs to my eye with a pencil or a paper cut. I kind of get this internal vision of a pencil stabbing my eye but at the same time I also feel it. I don't know if this is a tactile hallucination or if it's just an obsessive symptom. So far noone I've talked to has heard of anything like this. Even my doctor is stumped. And that symptom is worse than the voices. Lately I've been getting these weird visuals in my periferial (spelling) vision. It's like a person standing there but when I turn and look there's noone there. It's quite disturbing. Sometimes I see tracers too, infact I saw quite a bit of tracers today at work.

So when did this stuff start happening to you? Have you noticed it getting worse/better at certain times, perhaps a cyclic pattern to it all? I'm grateful, and also saddened, to know that someone else out there is experiencing something very similar to what I'm going through. What's also worse is that I haven't told my friends that I hear their voices within my head...I feel like it's some kind of dark secret, but really I just don't know how to explain it to them. What a strange phenomenon this is...looking foreward to your reply.

Jennaca21 · 04-17-2003, 08:57 AM

MusicGirl..I suffer with the exact same thing! Read my posts about "Does this sound schiztophrenic''? Its explaining about the voices and conversations I hear in my head..Your not alone ~Jenna~