Hi there,
My story is a bit like yours. I have a mom who was not able to raise me and my siblings. So we were raised in orphanages, foster homes, and group homes. Unfortunately, my brother inherited the disease, but much worse - he eventually died because of his paranoia.
She has been in and out of our lives in visiting us while we were institutionalized. When she got out her last mental hospital, she decided to return to Detroit (we are from Chicago) because she had many brothers and sisters there. Eventually, her physical and mental health deteriated (sp?)(mostly because she was abusing the many pills prescribed to her) and I placed her in minimum care facility. She was accepted because she was not violent and could physically move around. But then, several years later, her health further deteriated and she went into a full care nursing home. Her medications are closely monitored, and I think this was the best move for her. She, like us, got used to institutionalization. Further, although we don't visit her often (mostly out of choice as she is not a nice person - and this is NOT due to her condition), we can console ourselves that she is being well taken care of.
Regarding your situation, it seems that you have alot deeper connections to your mom than we do. Speaking another language other than the language spoken in your country will not be good for her, unless of course being bilingual is quite common, and others speak her language as well. Is she nice to others where she won't start fights with them? This is a great advantage. Further, nursing homes tend to be much more careful if family constantly visit them. My mom does have some frequent visitors.
I hope this helps you. God bless. I dealt with my younger brother (the one who was also ill) and it was very difficult - particularly because I felt like I was my brother's keeper. Please don't feel obliged - remember it is not your fault and it is also not her fault - so make the decision accordingly. Good luck
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