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Old 05-19-2011, 04:01 PM   #1
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Why doesn't anyone talk? Is it just me!?

I would like people to do more on this bored I knownthat prolly doesn't matter but it would he nice to have support for all of us I personally don't have any from anyone I just want to feel like people understand and I figures this would be the place for that I just feel like I'm gonna pop there is so much going on inside me and around me I don't mean to bug but I need someone to talk to someone to tell me every one is not gonna run away from me that my daughter wil still love me that I won't lose my job and my quality of life will improve and what is the better medicine for me or male or female pdoc you know maybe even just compare symptoms

No one around me understands anything I'm going through and seem irritated by it not e en concerned should I give up and check my self into the asylum or is there a way to get people to undertake what's opening to me I just want someone with this Illness to talk to me so I feel somewhat normal I just want a oil advice or even just something to think abou

I would appreciate it if someone would talk to me I will talk back and help In anywAy I can thanks for reAding this ease reply

 
Old 05-24-2011, 02:32 PM   #2
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Re: Why doesn't anyone talk? Is it just me!?

I'll talk to you. I can tell you what I've been through. You can tell me what you've been through. I can give you advise. You can give me advise.

My history goes a little like this. At 21 I had a major psychotic episode. Following this was four months of feeling very empty. Then I got what people might call a "tension head-ache". But it was really more serious. It felt like consciousness bundled up very tightly inside my head. The pain was so intense that I couldn't feel it.

After four years of being catatonic, you could say, the tension released itself and I felt good again. After this for about four more months, I had incredible power. Just a lot of psychic ability which I concentrated on. I watched people and things around me change, due mainly to this very spiritual thing that had been released inside of me.

Then I began hearing voices. I've heard so many voices, from so many different sources. It's absurd in a way. But I actually learned many things from these voices. In a way it tells me that the things I heard within my self were coming from an external source.

I later broke down the source of the voices to one in particular. Since then I managed to find a way to quiet the voices. My ability to quiet the voices was almost entirely caused by a focus on my heart. There are things called chakras, according to the mainstream yogic tradition. One of these "energy centres" is in the heart. I learned that by focusing all of my mind on this chakra in my heart I was able to stop the loudness and frequency of the voices. As I'm sure you know, the voices can be interesting to listen to, but are mainly very distressing. So, when I learned to control the voices, I was able to start a normal life. Luckily I met my wife about three years ago, and together we've managed to start a pretty normal life.

Things go on rather comfortably for me. I haven't found a real calling in life, as far as occupation or a job goes. I'm always bothered by the idea that I'm not fit to work in a lot of the jobs I see my self working in, because of my illness and because of all the history I have behind me. Also, I watch the world going into chaos. I see the way society is built and I see the way it is beginning to destroy itself. Not only beginning to destroy itself, though. Society, as I see it, has been heading down a destructive path for quite some time. It is only now, when our whole cultures are reliant on the automobile and oil, and where there doesn't seem as if anyone really cares about coming up with a solution to the problem of the automobile -that the fate of the world looks more and more hopeless.

My own psychological problems seem to have worked them selves out. Now, it seems, I find my self in this world where every thing is going out of control and no one has even one clear solution on how to start fixing the problem.

Everyone knows that a lot of tension in the middle east is made worse by the continuing demand for oil. I believe in God, and I honestly see the problem of Israel as really serious question for the fate of man kind. If the tension in that region could be eased just a bit, it would come around from the dissolution of our own societies need for oil. But day in and day out, cars are on the road. If only one group of people could show the world that there is an alternative to a completely oil dependent society, maybe things would change.

That's where I'm at right now. If you're interested in talking, I'm more than happy to talk about any thing that's on your mind. You sound like you're in a bit of a crises. As a schizophrenic, I've been in some serious moments where I was on the brink of a total mental breakdown. But to be honest, I have found a good way to sort my life out. Now I have to somehow come to terms with what my role in society is. I have to ask myself, is there something I could be doing just to counter act the movement that everyone is making towards continuing to live upon the model of society that has been created for us.

I know this model is unsustainable. On top of that there's a great deal of ignorance in the world. I think there are a lot of people who are coming of age who realize that if change is going to happen, it's going to have to start with them. But as the inheritors of this world, us 20 somethings and us 30 somethings have to ask ourselves if we need to do something about the leadership of our various countries. It doesn't seem like those in power have the health and welfare of the many, many young, intelligent, but powerless people in mind. I have this feeling, as I watch a lot of the uprisings over in the middle east, that something like this could come about in the west. But as I said, although we 20 and 30 somethings are very aware that the world is not heading in a good direction, for some reason we are unwilling do take the drastic measures needed to bring about some kind of change. And I think a part of that unwillingness is this misguided idea that we can somehow attain the things our parents did. Maybe we think we can still lead the kind of lives our parents did, and have the same feeling of stability and what not. But it's obviously not the case.

What we have in the world today is a lot of instability. No one, whether they are mentally healthy of mentally ill, in the ages of 20 or 30 or 40 are going to have anything permanent to hold on to. The only thing we can rely on is our own intuitions that something is desperately wrong with the way the world is operating and that something is inherently corrupt and bad about the people in power who seem to desperately want to grasp at the false idea that this model of society can be sustained. It simply can't. It will all come crumbling down on itself eventually and very soon. There are many things that so many of us could do to make a start at changing some of the faults in our societal structure, but I think many of us hesitate because we are, essentially, not in a position of power. And we are held captive by those in power. And those in power are held captive by the very things which give them power. Money. And the source of the money is not coming from positive things like farming, agriculture, construction, or any of the most basic things. The money and the power of the major societies today is built on the idea of factories which never stop production, oil reserves which never run out, don't cause wars, and don't essentially create pollution. War itself, and the threat of war is the kind of fear under which this generation who is inheriting the world lives. That generation needs to see past all of the crap, all of the lies, all of the corruption and bad intentions. We are a smart and strong generation. But we trust in our leaders too much. We should know that the only people we can trust are ourselves. But when the power and the strength is in the hands of only a few people, we see activism on a small scale as an exercise in futility.

Still, if we don't restructure society soon, weeding out all of the materialistic junk that is supposed to be the meaning of life, like cars, big houses -instead of supporting and nurturing the things that really matter; like farming, agriculture, and community -there isn't going to be any time left to avoid a bad future for ourselves.

 
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Old 05-27-2011, 07:26 AM   #3
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Re: Why doesn't anyone talk? Is it just me!?

Cool sounds good that was a long reply haha thank you for the reply by the way. So I'm 22 years old I currently have hallucinations and delusions I hear external and internal voices I hear music or chatter and individual voices like laughter or random things it doesn't ever seem to have a point. My visuals are seeing figures shadow people if you will they seem to be every where I also see things move that are not moving like il follow a spec on the ground and later realize it didn't move at all. I believe aliens are watching me for whatever reason I think I saw them there was 3 figures that appeared no features just black blurs semi translucent I stared at them for a while until it creePed me out too much then they were gone when I looked back but at that time I felt that there was a large group in the roo
It felt like people were all around me. I also will see things in corners a lot small animal like creatures almost demon like. Sometimes il be looking at something and everything will shake the best way to describe it would be like the movie butterfly effect I don't know if I have sz or not I have been putting off a doc visit but I feel like people are judging me and conspiring against me sometimes or that they can see my thoughts most of the time I realize what I'm seeing is not there so I have been able not to focus on it that much but sometimes it's pretty hard like when you hear a voice and you ask the person in the house what they said and you get this blank look as they answer nothing oh well I just thought I heard somerhidng so they don't ask questions .
So I was sexually abused for a few years from about 7 to10 yes of age and physically abused during the same time my mother was sick when pregnant with me I was born suffocating be ause my ambilicle cord was choking me I grew up confused my family was weird good and bad but as I got older my dAd was at the bar all day so I had to fend for myself started partying and what not oh and the first few times I smoked pot was around 7 so I don't know but I have recreationally used drugs my whole life I don't anymore exept pot it calms me down helps me be social and have a appetite but makes visual symptoms increase a bit but I just try to keep my mind off it that helps I had a psychotic episode a month back where I didn't know what was real or not it felt like I was in a dream the whole time I have always thought I have seen shadows or bugs but it was never too bad but over the past year or two it has progesivly got worse my gf says I have no emotions that I ignore her and I don't think that's the case but I find myself listening to her or sitting with her and me jet being lost in my head and I snap back to like oh that must be what she is talking about but I don't know I don't want to take meds I feel like I'm this way for a reason that I don't know yet but will fgure out someday but I want to be a good loving parent and husband so I might have to just bite the bullet Anyways I work I get my job done and support my family and be the best father I can and husband my symptoms sound like sz but no way to tell for sure Gil I see a doc but I think if you look for the good in things it will always turn out better and you will be put through tests in life and won't progress in life til you succeed in these tests but that's as far into religion as I go I believe there is a higher power but not so much hevan and he'll just hard to fathom I for sure beleive in ghosts and aliens though because I have seen both on multiple occasions throughout my life I know it's prolly hard to read my stuff my mind is always doing something else anyway I am very open I love psychology although according to Freud if you have a mental illness you are not gonna work in psychology I'd like to prove him wrong any questions or comments are awesome and I'm more than happy to share my story and listen to others I would like to help this board out as much as possible be ause I know it's hard to find someone to talk to.

 
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