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This is embarrassing.Here it goes:
I love this woman that I dated 12 years ago.I havent forgotten her and cannot seem to find something that substitutes her in my mind.The story is that we were inloved with each other but we were young and with no prospects of a future.We met in my country while she was on vacations.She was 18 I was 23 and I thought I knew whatever there was to know about passion or love.But to my surprise I knew nothing about it.She gave me something that I havent found in any other relationship.She gave me true understanding and care.She was oposite from me .She was pure and altruistic.I was selfish and and imature but I loved her more than my own life.
The problem is that I left her 12 years ago because i was afraied that I would get hurt.Even though she came to my country a second time to ask why I stoped writing to her.This is a year after we met each other and because i stoped writing a few mounths before i knew she was coming.The year we were appart i was diagnozed with schizophrenia.She had sort of nervous breakdown at the same time in her country.We both were inloved.At least i think we were.But the second time she was in my country I sayed that we wouldnt meet again ever although she believed we could have something special and begged that I wrote to her as soon as she was in her country.I dont know why but i didnt write to her for years.Seven years ago a found her e-mail and wrote to her.I have never forgotten her.The problem is taht I still have strong feelings for her.I want her to be happy.But still iI would love to see her.Anyways these twelve years have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs with my disease.Now i have been stable for the past 5 years.She knows that i have this disease maybe tahts why she stopped talking to me.Maybe she doesnt want to give me hopes in what concerns her.I know she is special because she works for NGOs and does charitable work.And I want her to fullfill her life.I want her to be happy.
But still I miss her .