It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Schizophrenia Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-19-2012, 11:48 PM   #1
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
My psychotic history

Before symptoms of schizophrenia materialized I had the following symptoms: a. sleepy eyes during day time, b. tiredness, c. prolonged depression.

In addition to that, I need some afterthought to determine whether the positive symptoms of schizophrenia materialized due to underlying illness, or as a withdrawal symptoms of halting the meds too abruptly.

I had many bad effects from antipyschotics. These range from temporary memory loss, prolonged headaches, psychosis during akathisia... At first I was given antidepressants and risperdal. I started to experience awful bouts of akathisia. I felt paranoid, extremely scared(too scared to go for a loo), violent, and compulsive. I felt like small noises I hear will trigger me to hear voices. But at those times I wasn't hearing voices.

My first delusional thinking started with me thinking I was being followed by obscure people in public, and thinking that I was being 'gassed' when I was experiencing awful headaches. Headaches persisted for several months but the false belief that I was being gassed didn't go away.

After switching to invega and reaching my limit to tolerate even more servere akathisia from it, and how my private psychiatrist who prescribed it to me doesn't seem to comprehend how extreme the suffering was, I stopped taking all forms of anti-psychotics. That is when I started to experience psychotic symptoms more vividly.

I was getting jerks on my head making me to think that I was being 'shocked with electricity' somehow. I thought I was someone important and I was receiving messages from Barrack Obama on tv. I sat for hours watching music videos on tv and receiving communications at the same time. I thought I was being followed in public and there are hidden cameras in my house.

I also heard voices without the meds and I had trouble going to sleep. Voices made me feel extremely agitated and all of my days became absorbed in fighting the 'gas', avoiding the voices in my head, and struggling to go to sleep. University suffered from my delusions and I failed at uni.

My delusional belief system became more complex. I was sure of the existence of zombies and I had a false memory planted on me where I was drugged and drowned then reanimated like a zombie. To do this reanimation secret government agency illegally implanted a computer chip to compensate for my thinking, and that I was totally dependent on the chip to stay alive. The belief made sense because that is why I was being followed and persecuted(such as being forcibly medicated using 'gaseous method'). Australian government didn't care whether I died or lived; their main concern was the destruction of the chip.

After about three weeks without much sleep, and somehow persuaded myself that I could not let out excrements in a normal way, I was still paranoid and ended up in hospital. I asked the police to take me to hospital when asked.

Soon as I recovered my sleeping and paranoia has subsided inside hospital, I finally realized that there is no 'gas' or forcible medicating. That's when I was back to my senses. I was also relieved that I could go to toilet normally.

I still suffered from akathisia caused by injections I received inside hospital. I switched from risperidone consta to invega sustenna when I was outpatient. I am still an outpatient and began transition to clozapine, due to persistent akathisia. Akathisia contains psychotic elements and mental pain is great. I should be free from it. My history with akathisia caused by atypical antipsychotics is long. I have written alot of posts in this forum about it. Right now I get an attack about twice a month. Once we stop invega I should be completely free.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 09-21-2012, 08:52 AM   #2
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Hi Koolguy

Thank you for sharing that.

I am sorry to hear you failed Uni - something that happened to me years back.

I would be grateful if you could post now and again to let us know whether the clozapine makes a difference to the akathesia, as you aware I suffer from it badly too (3 times a week) and am on risperidone. If it works for you then that would be the best news I heard in generations. and will follow suit,

Regards

Last edited by Mod-S4; 09-30-2012 at 02:57 PM. Reason: Quote removed.

 
Old 09-24-2012, 09:30 PM   #3
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by synpase321 View Post
Hi Koolguy

Thank you for sharing that.

I am sorry to hear you failed Uni - something that happened to me years back.

I would be grateful if you could post now and again to let us know whether the clozapine makes a difference to the akathesia, as you aware I suffer from it badly too (3 times a week) and am on risperidone. If it works for you then that would be the best news I heard in generations. and will follow suit,

Regards
sure thing. i will update you on clozapine. today i met pdoc weekly and he said next week wlll be my last monthly invega injection!
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 09-24-2012, 09:33 PM   #4
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

During akathisia the following was the most distressing: I kept hearing two familiar voices. one male and one female. Male voice kept telling me 'you are a soldier', and 'we're back!'. female voice told me 'you are the bank robber'.

These voieces made me feel like I could do something bad. But the lesson that always applies is if you do less, less chance of doing something stupid.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 09-28-2012, 06:38 PM   #5
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

i have two months to go until invega is out of my system...

and i dont feel like doing the things i should because of anxiousness about akathisia and also dysphoria caused by invega...

but i will trust in the lord. i will call upon the name of jesus.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 09-28-2012, 11:08 PM   #6
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by koolguy View Post
i have two months to go until invega is out of my system...

and i dont feel like doing the things i should because of anxiousness about akathisia and also dysphoria caused by invega...

but i will trust in the lord. i will call upon the name of jesus.
Thanks for updating.

Here's me keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Take care.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to synpase321 For This Useful Post:
koolguy (10-03-2012)
Old 10-07-2012, 10:49 PM   #7
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

during my psychosis I wasnt necessarily hearing voices but random thoughts were popping up that were giving me ideas.

for several years I was convinced that I was being drugged forcibly and come back and fourth uni while paranoid about a weird headache. not only headaches but I also felt this scared feeling coming up. now I know that it is a stage of done some kind of eps...

I was convinced that a ray gun was irradiating my head wherever I went and also making my face tickle in order to break me. I ended up touching my face repeatly to show my fight back to the machine that's touching my face.

I was driving at the time back and fourth home and uni and soon I was receiving message from cars and billboards, those advertisements were there to relay messages using me as a kind of computer.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 10-08-2012, 06:01 AM   #8
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by koolguy View Post
during my psychosis I wasnt necessarily hearing voices but random thoughts were popping up that were giving me ideas.

for several years I was convinced that I was being drugged forcibly and come back and fourth uni while paranoid about a weird headache. not only headaches but I also felt this scared feeling coming up. now I know that it is a stage of done some kind of eps...

I was convinced that a ray gun was irradiating my head wherever I went and also making my face tickle in order to break me. I ended up touching my face repeatly to show my fight back to the machine that's touching my face.

I was driving at the time back and fourth home and uni and soon I was receiving message from cars and billboards, those advertisements were there to relay messages using me as a kind of computer.
Thanks for sharing this.

At the height of my psychosis I had delusions the FBI were after me and

I was an important spy. The medication brought it under control.

My query now is from what you have posted that the very drug that helps

me - risperidone - could be responsible for making me have panic attacks.

I am patiently waiting Koolguy to see whether the switch to

Clozapine does the trick for you. I am praying that it will work for you.

If I ask to be put on clozapine then I have to go in as an

inpatient which is not ideal.

Last edited by synpase321; 10-08-2012 at 06:04 AM.

 
Old 10-08-2012, 11:06 PM   #9
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by synpase321 View Post
Thanks for sharing this.

At the height of my psychosis I had delusions the FBI were after me and

I was an important spy. The medication brought it under control.

My query now is from what you have posted that the very drug that helps

me - risperidone - could be responsible for making me have panic attacks.

I am patiently waiting Koolguy to see whether the switch to

Clozapine does the trick for you. I am praying that it will work for you.

If I ask to be put on clozapine then I have to go in as an

inpatient which is not ideal.
I'm outpatient with clozapine
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 10-09-2012, 05:20 AM   #10
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by koolguy View Post
I'm outpatient with clozapine
I believe in the UK you have to be an inpatient last time I asked but I will double check.

How is you anxiety, Koolguy?

Regards

 
Old 10-09-2012, 07:23 PM   #11
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by synpase321 View Post
I believe in the UK you have to be an inpatient last time I asked but I will double check.

How is you anxiety, Koolguy?

Regards
i get anxious at times but i can manage it by meditating.

this is different from uneasy feeling and agitation from EPS. this is manageable.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 10-10-2012, 10:25 AM   #12
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by koolguy View Post
i get anxious at times but i can manage it by meditating.

this is different from uneasy feeling and agitation from EPS. this is manageable.
Hi

Would you say the panic from extra pyramidal side effects (EPS) from meds has now gone and are now left with mild anxiety that doesn't break through into a full panic attack or (Akathisia) and as you say is more manageable?

Regards.

 
Old 10-11-2012, 05:17 AM   #13
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by synpase321 View Post
Hi

Would you say the panic from extra pyramidal side effects (EPS) from meds has now gone and are now left with mild anxiety that doesn't break through into a full panic attack or (Akathisia) and as you say is more manageable?

Regards.
yes.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Old 10-11-2012, 07:38 AM   #14
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 130
synpase321 HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by koolguy View Post
yes.
I am really happy for you, Koolguy.

Next time I see the consultant I will mention you as a case study to try

and relieve my anxiety from EPS.

Can I just confirm that you are only on clozapine and nothing else?

Thanks

Regards

 
Old 10-24-2012, 02:02 AM   #15
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sydney, australia
Posts: 224
koolguy HB User
Re: My psychotic history

Quote:
Originally Posted by synpase321 View Post
I am really happy for you, Koolguy.

Next time I see the consultant I will mention you as a case study to try

and relieve my anxiety from EPS.

Can I just confirm that you are only on clozapine and nothing else?

Thanks

Regards
Took two months(?) to lower invega sustenna and lower olanzapine and now i'm only on clozapine. Last invega injection happened more than 3 weeks ago.
__________________
I would get this feeling penetrate through me then I will know that it's on...
But in truth, I'm not alone! Jesus is with me all the way!!!!
BE OPTIMISTIC! HAVE A GOOD TIME DEFEATING THE ENEMY!

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added











All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:29 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!