Join Date: Feb 2013
Schizophrenia or Extreme Paranoia?
Around the time when I was 20 I started noticing certain things about myself that were strange. Lately, I've gotten pretty bad. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 but I honestly think I was misdiagnosed. I'm taking Lamictal and Effexor. I'll make a list of what I've been experiencing:
Unable to make conversation, nervousness, constant loss for words, I draw blanks when asked questions, unable to keep eye contact, rather be alone with my daughter and husband and not socialize
Feel like something is constantly crawling on me so i'm very itchy, hear laughing/other noises/voices in other rooms when it's completely quiet, smell strange things at random times, sometimes see inanimate objects move, see things out of the corner of my eye but when I look there's nothing there
Feel like everyone is out to get me, scary thoughts of something happening to me or my daughter, feel like i'm being followed (both in public and at home). I feel like some unseen force is following me around at home. I think that there are cameras everywhere (including my house) that are watching me and the government is monitoring me on my tv to see what i'm doing at home, constantly worrying that something is wrong with my body (inside and out), scared to answer the door/phone (voice in my head tells me not to because it's probably something bad), noises at night sounding like someone is breaking in and makes me lock the bedroom door in case that's what's happening, feel like someone is always looking in my window, extreme hate for people
Lose my train of thought constantly, people say i have done/said things but I don't remember (usually bad stuff) and then my mind starts making up scenarios and I panic, can't keep thoughts to myself (have to say them out loud), constantly think I'm being lied to and others have bad intentions (when there's no reason to feel that way), random thoughts that don't make sense, inability to concentrate, thinking stuff on tv/stuff I read pertains to me, doing something and my mind is on something completely different, feel like nothing is real (like i'm numb and even when I had my daughter), reading things but it doesn't sink in or make sense, think inanimate objects and plants have feelings, have to look at things a few times in order for my brain to process it, constantly forget what I'm doing (take thing into the wrong room, put things in the wrong places), re-curring thoughts (same sentence over and over/part of a song stuck in my head-especially at night when I'm trying to sleep)
Low energy/motivation, extreme irritability/poor temper control, constant changes in appetite, insomnia/trouble staying asleep (even with sleeping pills), disinterest in everyday things, very fidgity (strange habits), usually talk in monotone, strange facial expressions at random (and when I'm thinking), depression, jumpy, been called a sociopath/freak/crazy, unable to keep jobs due to paranoia and anger, lack of emotion to usually upsetting events (other's misfortunes, death), rambling/talking to myself (telling myself what to do), yelling/hitting/breaking stuff and blame the object for not working, give up on things easily, don't do the same thing for more than a few minutes, space out alot and unaware of what's going on around me.
These things just don't seem normal to me. Anyone have any thoughts on what it could be?