Join Date: Feb 2013
Is It Schizophrenia or Extreme Paranoia?
Hi. I'm new here. I was diagnosed at 18 with bipolar 2. I am currently taking Lamictal and Effexor XR. Since I was 20 I started having some abnormal things going on and I was wondering if I was misdiagnosed and I'm really schizo instead. I have hear that there is a schizoaffective disorder, consisting of both schizo and bipolar. Lately these symptoms have gotten worse (there are alot, sorry):
Unable to make conversation, nervousness around people (even family), not caring to have/keep friends, rather spend day alone or with my fiance and daughter, only want to leave the house if absolutely necessary, constant loss for words (people have a hard time understanding what I'm trying to say), thinking process stops altogether when I'm asked a question, unable to make/keep eye contact (instead I stare off into space and don't listen to what's being said)
Feels like something is constantly crawling on me (makes me very itchy all day), hear laughing and other noises, hear voices talking in other rooms when no one is in there, smell things that no one else smells, sometimes see inanimate objects move (shake)
Feels like everyone is out to get me (emotionally/physically), scary thoughts of me or my daughter getting hurt/killed, fear of auto accidents, scared someone or something will grab me at night (scared of the dark), feels like I'm being followed in public and at home (at home it feels like an unseen force is following me around), think that cameras are everywhere (even in the tv- I think the government is recording what is going on in my house), constantly worrying that something major is wrong with my body (causing panic), scared to answer the door/phone (a voice in my head tells me not to because it's probably something bad), noises at night make me think someone broke in (I shut and lock the bedroom door in case someone DOES break in), feels like someone is looking in my window, worried something is wrong with my food (always examine it) or drinks
Low energy/motivation, extreme irritability/poor temper control, constant changes in appetite, insomnia/unable to stay asleep (even with sleeping pills), disinterest in everyday things, fidgity (bad habits that I keep doing over and over), usually talk in the same tone, strange facial expressions at random (and when I'm thinking), depression, jumpy, been called a sociopath/freak/crazy, unable to keep jobs, lack of emotion to other people's misfortunes (I enjoy it) and death, rambling/talking to myself, yelling at/hitting/breaking things that don't work, give up on doing things easily, can't do the same thing for a long period of time
Lose my train of thought alot, people say that I have said/done bad things but I don't remember (afterwards I start obsessing/making scenarios in my head to see if I really did do/say these things and I panic), can't keep thoughts to myself (say them out loud), constantly think I'm being lied to or others have bad intentions (even when there's no reason to feel that way), constant random thoughts that sometimes don't make sense, unable to concentrate, think that commercials/written things pertain to me, feel like nothing is real (even after giving birth to my daughter), reading and none of it sinks in (if I re-read it still doesn't make sense), think that inanimate objects/plants have feelings, have to look at something a few times in order for my brain to process what i'm looking at, forget what I'm doing (even while doing it), take things into the wrong rooms, put stuff in the wrong spot, have the same thought over and over (part of a song/a sentence, especially when I try to sleep)
Most of these things just don't feel normal. Anyone know what this could be?