| Re: This world is my dream
One of the hardest things I myself had to go through was to find the right doctor. My first one also basically chased me away. He said he can't help me if I try to impress him. I was just being honest for the first time in my life to get some help and he treated me as if I was trying to play a joke on him or something. Like someone would pay the outrages fees they charge to try to be funny.
After that my situation got allot worse and I got really violent. ( I might sound quite immoral of me, but the ******* died recently and I was pretty happy. Now no one else who wants help would have to go to the emotional pain inflicted by that poor excuse for a doctor ). Only my 4th doctor really listened to my situation and try to help me. It is a struggle, but once you find the right doctor for you, things start to look better.
I also had the experience of the voices threatening me. Mine was more if I tried to get close to someone, they would force me to kill them. When a friend made me my first appointment with that ******* doctor, they threatened to make me kill my family if I went.
But hang in there. Find the right doctor for you. Someone who you can trust and that believes you. Also try to find some reality checks for yourself. I read about this somewhere and it really helped me when I started to get confused what was real or not. It can be anything. I usually use something concrete that I know is real, and than bass all of my other observations on this and try to judge for myself. It does not always work, but it helped me out of a few bad situations.
Hope you get the help you deserve.
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“And suddenly he knew that he had never found gratification in love, but always only in hatred—in hating and in being hated.”
― Patrick Süskind
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