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Board: Relationship Health 05-23-2013, 02:59 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 116
Posted By pendulum
Re: Where to go,what can i do??

Yes, you need a lawyer - as soon as possible.
Board: Relationship Health 05-22-2013, 11:11 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 161
Posted By pendulum
Re: Girlfriend always acts like a little kid.

I don't know, I wouldn't say so anyway, but I think it would help if you were able to see her behaviour as a sign of spontaneity and even of genuineness: she doesn't care about what other people say...
Board: Relationship Health 05-11-2013, 11:48 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 248
Posted By pendulum
Re: My bf looks at pictures of other women on the internet

I tend to agree with Lenvegas. What makes me a bit concerned, however, is the way he reacts - becoming angry and mean - when you talk about it. Unless you are approaching the issue too often and...
Board: Relationship Health 05-07-2013, 10:04 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 210
Posted By pendulum
Re: feeling tired of the same old thoughts.

I'm afraid you are living too much in your mind/brain. You also need to live in your body. Perhaps your body feels numb, what do I know? You need to worry less, because worrying about things and...
Board: Relationship Health 05-04-2013, 12:43 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 211
Posted By pendulum
Re: Should i stay or leave?

This is really a difficult situation, because I gather you don't have any relatives or a circle of friends you could count upon. I am inclined to think that you should leave, because you are still...
Board: Relationship Health 05-02-2013, 05:44 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 374
Posted By pendulum
Re: Cheating ...

I don't think staying together at this point will help you. Neither of you seems to be able to cope with this situation. You don't need to divorce him atraightaway, though. Just separate for a while...
Board: Relationship Health 04-25-2013, 03:11 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 209
Posted By pendulum
Re: dating a depressed girl-they ever change

Even though I am no expert on this, it sounds like bipolar disorder rather than depression. Or maybe the other guy is right: she is mentally disturbed. I know, I know, I shouldn't be judging her. But...
Board: Relationship Health 04-25-2013, 02:25 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 175
Posted By pendulum
Re: Feelings Hurt/Felt Leftout

Well, we don't know the dynamics of your family, so it's hard to say anything for sure. Was it the very first time you were left out? Or does that happen all the time? You do have a point here, but...
Board: Relationship Health 04-25-2013, 01:40 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 366
Posted By pendulum
Re: sister

I subscribe to the words of Rosequartz. Actually, I am not sure if your sister really hates you. Maybe she thinks she does, maybe she even says she does, but deep down it is a mixture of feelings...
Board: Relationship Health 04-24-2013, 12:04 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 245
Posted By pendulum
Re: My gf tested me, should i ask her about it or play along?

Well, I would be very cautious to create a relationship with someone who says they are going to kill themselves just because their friend had cancer. Having cancer doesn't mean that you are going to...
Board: Relationship Health 04-19-2013, 02:59 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 168
Posted By pendulum
Re: Angry

Where does your husband stand on this situation? I would advise you to stop doing bad things to this woman. Stop everything now! She may be a wicked, jealous, envious person, what do I know, but your...
Board: Relationship Health 04-19-2013, 02:46 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 306
Posted By pendulum
Re: Why does this bother me?

Actually, this bothers most wives, you aren't alone. I know, I'm a husband. :) I agree with Mugwump's advice, but I'm afraid it may be a little too difficult to drastically change this pattern at...
Board: Relationship Health 04-03-2013, 04:49 PM
Replies: 60
Views: 2,875
Posted By pendulum
Re: In desperate need of real advice please.

Rose is right, but I should think there are certain moments in your life when you need to put someone else's needs first. Just make sure that in doing this you don't feel bitter and don't lose your...
Board: Relationship Health 03-31-2013, 05:45 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 377
Posted By pendulum
Re: Social Anxiety & Relationships - Feeling Lost - Please Help!

Lenvegas is right: a bit of shyness can make you look charming. Too much self-conceitedness can be a mask for an inferiority complex. I think introversion can be worse than shyness. Because...
Board: Relationship Health 03-31-2013, 04:25 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 326
Posted By pendulum
Re: need to vent post breakup

I don't mean to be harsh on you, but if you did him all those favours of your own free will and accord, then you should have been prepared to anything, even to ingratitude. You pulled your weight,...
Board: Relationship Health 03-30-2013, 01:46 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 326
Posted By pendulum
Re: horrible parents

I know your parents' indifference and ignorance is hard on you, but it's better to just accept who they are and let them go than lamenting and wishing it were different. Don't let yourself remain...
Board: Relationship Health 03-29-2013, 02:27 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 326
Posted By pendulum
Re: horrible parents

Has your husband ever invited your parents himself? Why doesn't he take the initiative? I think your parents will have a harder time saying no to him.
Board: Relationship Health 03-27-2013, 05:57 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 266
Posted By pendulum
Re: I don't love her any more because she's given me nothing to love

I totally agree with Lenvegas. You ask "why do I bother with her at all". I am asking you: Why do you even try to have sex with her at all? How come you begot three kids with such a "nasty" woman?...
Board: Relationship Health 03-24-2013, 11:54 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 356
Posted By pendulum
Re: im in shock

I'm afraid you are tring to justify him and to humble yourself with unwanted comparisons. This will bring you additional pain. Stop it. Stop busying yourself with this man, otherwise you will get...
Board: Relationship Health 03-23-2013, 05:36 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 239
Posted By pendulum
Re: unhealthy relationship with sister

I'm sorry for this. I think that only time and maturity, if anything, can help both of you (re)approach each other. Now that you are about to leave home, for College, I presume, healing may be on its...
Board: Relationship Health 09-24-2012, 07:14 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 412
Posted By pendulum
Re: sister

It is only up to you to stop this. You can do it in a gentle way, though. Be strong. Never mind if she gets angry and threatens you. You are her brother, but not her slave. I am sorry for the kid,...
Board: Relationship Health 06-01-2012, 03:13 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 904
Posted By pendulum
Re: Should I stay & keep trying or let go?

Ok, so now let me get this straight. If you leave him, are you sure the kids are going to stay with you? Probably yes, but then again you are going to be in touch with him anyway, because he is the...
Board: Relationship Health 03-02-2012, 10:04 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 817
Posted By pendulum
Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

Ok, but I think this lady friend of yours is less important than the problems you are having with your wife.

Why aren't you working on those problems?

Her reaction would be normal if you were...
Board: Relationship Health 02-21-2012, 04:54 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,336
Posted By pendulum
Re: Dealing with obsession

You sound like a very sensible person. Your boyfriend sounds honest, but maybe too weak or immature for you.

No wonder you are going round in circles here. Where are they who wouldn't in this...
Board: Relationship Health 02-15-2012, 04:24 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,211
Posted By pendulum
Re: Please help

I agree with Writeleft.

No, it doesn't sound like you are over the hump. It sounds rather like your life with him is a rollercoaster. Unpredictable. Like the worst is yet to come.

Sorry if I...
Board: Relationship Health 02-01-2012, 03:48 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 571
Posted By pendulum
Re: Frustrated!!!! What do I do?

I agree that therapy might possibly help you and your partner, but only if he wants to go to therapy. He sounds like he doesn't want to change, but wants you and your kids to change. He sounds bored....
Board: Relationship Health 01-19-2012, 10:29 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 861
Posted By pendulum
Re: Distant partner, is she to reliant on her best friend??

To me, this is not really working. This man - this third party - is an intruder, but you and your girlfriend are enabling him to a large extent. This must stop at once. I think that when you are...
Board: Relationship Health 01-18-2012, 08:31 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 594
Posted By pendulum
Re: Not sure how to respond.

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I see you don't want to hurt her, but you don't want to hurt yourself in the first place. Anyway, it surely would be embarrassing for both of you to stay in the same room...
Board: Relationship Health 11-28-2011, 02:03 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 743
Posted By pendulum
Re: Old Letters

Ok, thanks for the clarification.

Just one more thing: If she knew that you were going to read those old letters and if her memory didn't fail her, then she knew what you were about to find there....
Board: Relationship Health 09-14-2011, 10:48 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,031
Posted By pendulum
Re: trust issues...please help!!

It looks like you are living on suspicions and remote suspicions, so to say. You have no evidence that he is currently cheating on you. Forget about the past for a while. I think you should try to...
Board: Relationship Health 09-10-2011, 07:12 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 487
Posted By pendulum
Re: Advice, please???

The first problem I see here is that the decision lies with your mother, but you are the one seeking advice, not her. I am not sure if she will listen to you anyway.

If I haven't missed anything,...
Board: Relationship Health 08-22-2011, 11:24 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,127
Posted By pendulum
Re: This is eating me... this lady

I don't want this to sound like a damper, but it will probably - and you know that: she is putting her career ahead of you. The other possibility is that she no longer cares about you but doesn't...
Board: Relationship Health 08-14-2011, 01:39 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 860
Posted By pendulum
Re: How do i move on?

Obviously it doesn't help to keep her as a friend, to talk to her all the time, to get updated on what is going on in her life etc. This is a sort of self-torture. Let her go. Let yourself go too. I...
Board: Relationship Health 08-12-2011, 11:17 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 4,269
Posted By pendulum
Re: Need Real Advice on Relationship-Long story

If I can put in my two cents', I entirely agree with Kszan. But I have a suggestion. You say this girl is going to College. I assume that as her potential boyfriend you would like to be on the same...
Board: Relationship Health 08-06-2011, 02:37 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,615
Posted By pendulum
Re: I feel lonely and upset

Here are two thoughts (from Fernando Pessoa) that might give you some insight about love and loneliness:

We love because we get tired of being alone. To love is therefore to be a coward and a...
Board: Relationship Health 08-05-2011, 12:29 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,134
Posted By pendulum
Re: SO confused about this relationship!! HELP!

Yes, this is all very confusing. Don't get me wrong, but the impression that I get from your post is that neither you nor your boyfriend want to look at reality. It seems that both of you are just...
Board: Relationship Health 08-02-2011, 12:17 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 4,162
Posted By pendulum
Re: Kept in the dark....

Perhaps I'm missing something here, but why do you say you want him to be in shock... etc etc? I don't think this really helps you move on. You better let go of this line of thought. It is no longer...
Board: Relationship Health 07-17-2011, 08:07 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 2,483
Posted By pendulum
Re: Please post any thoughts....pregnant with married man

You don't understand what (or who) he is protecting, and neither do I. Unless he is still protecting his marriage. You say you see each other regularly and are dating. What does that really mean? If...
Board: Relationship Health 07-16-2011, 06:23 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 5,035
Posted By pendulum
Re: UGH!!! Help please

Oh, I may be wrong (and hopefully I am), but I (also) think he is giving you lame excuses. If he can't really find time to come over to you, then why doesn't he invite you to come over to him? Maybe...
Board: Relationship Health 07-13-2011, 08:19 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 397
Posted By pendulum
Re: Need a little advice

I agree with Rose: it is better to take a chance (and possibly be romantically rejected) than being stuck in doubt. I think a pure (platonic) friendship between a woman and a man is possible, but it...
Board: Relationship Health 07-12-2011, 06:32 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

As I see it, it doesn't matter any longer who made mistakes in this relationship and if restoring the bond, if ever there was a bond, is feasible. It is clear (to me) that both of you already know...
Board: Relationship Health 07-08-2011, 05:01 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,905
Posted By pendulum
Re: Anyone good with words?

English is not my first language, you know. I think I can be rather good with words in my own language, if I am inspired, lol. So take my advice with a pinch of salt, will you?

First, wouldn't you...
Board: Relationship Health 07-06-2011, 09:52 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

Yeah, I agree with Crying. You can always leave this marriage (or have him leave it) even if he is being super nice.

Hmmm, I am under the impression that you are hesitating and that if he really...
Board: Relationship Health 07-02-2011, 04:23 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,419
Posted By pendulum
Re: am i a fool?

If you really want to know, I don't think you are a fool. And I don't think it was a waste of time to read your post, either.

Interestingly, I can't see the word love anywhere in your post.
...
Board: Relationship Health 06-28-2011, 06:16 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

Even if you had - by accident - enjoyed the sex you had with him, he was selfish and violent and trying to "seduce" you. Please don't think it is ALL your fault. It isn't. He was just using you...
Board: Relationship Health 06-23-2011, 04:56 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

I am trying to see the situation from your husband's perspective.

Did he ever complain to you about the fact the you shared a house with your mother? I know he first agreed with this arrangement,...
Board: Relationship Health 06-22-2011, 07:43 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 898
Posted By pendulum
Re: New to all of this....

Yes, it is normal, especially because it is your first time, but maybe it is not his first time. Maybe he has some experience with dating, so you better let him lead the way. If he is a thoughtful...
Board: Relationship Health 06-22-2011, 07:24 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 410
Posted By pendulum
Re: Does anyone else feel the same way?

My feedback is you should first seek help from yourself. Find ways to cool down, to take it easy. You probably think too much, so it would be helpful to direct your attention to other parts of your...
Board: Relationship Health 06-22-2011, 07:03 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

Sorry to intrude on here, but I think it's high time you talked to a lawyer about the divorce. Get the information you need before approaching your husband again. Be prepared, otherwise he may try to...
Board: Relationship Health 06-22-2011, 01:39 AM
Replies: 67
Views: 16,982
Posted By pendulum
Re: Really depressed.need advice contemplating asking for divorce/separation today (l

<I think> that men are not emotional is a wrong generalization, but again that is beyond what we are talking about here.

In every conflict both parties have their own responsibilities, if you see...
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