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Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-22-2014, 08:31 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,027
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Alzheimer's Patient preoccupied

The other thing I want to add: Usually a bigger place like the dementia unit can help the elderly who wants "intimacy". At home alone, he has no choice but to fall in love with the caregivers or wife...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-21-2014, 11:01 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,027
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Alzheimer's Patient preoccupied

I also think it is human nature. Fortunately all the caregivers in the dementia unit are understanding. One caregiver even joked "Am I your girlfriend?" I think a little teasing is OK. It is not just...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-18-2014, 09:10 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,027
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Alzheimer's Patient preoccupied

We had discussed this long time ago in this board. No, you are not the only one.
Perhaps it is not so obvious. But my late father-in-law did want to have sex or have a girlfriend/wife with demand....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-15-2014, 06:19 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 906
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Please help me with my grief

Deb, I am so sorry that you lost your kid. I was always interested in her news. I feel so bad. Please accept my condolences.
Maryann, it is normal to wonder why and how in the beginning. My late...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-14-2014, 03:10 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 927
Posted By ninamarc
Re: End of the Journey

Mal, please accept my condolences.

May she rest in peace.
You had done the best.

Hugs,
Nina
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-14-2014, 03:07 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 906
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Please help me with my grief

I understand that you want to find out what happened and how she died.

Given Alzheimer's, I think she had lived a good life with your care. She probably didn't suffer much when she passed on the...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-14-2014, 03:03 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,068
Posted By ninamarc
Re: I need to vent a bit

Your Mom should be in dementia unit which is assisted living too but the unit is locked.
She would not be able to tell. Given dementia, Mom needs a secure place.
She would wander and get lost so...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-14-2014, 02:56 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 897
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Hospice---What To Expect Now?

He may not be dying but hospice can make sure he gets comfort care without aggressive treatments. Dehydration may cause UTI. He would need more water. If he eats less, he would have less water...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-09-2014, 02:19 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,826
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Hospice concerns

Hi Gogo,

I would think the dementia unit is better since he is still quite alert. Skilled-care nursing home is for sicker patient who needs more nursing care. A dementia unit is like an assisted...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-05-2014, 09:10 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 802
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Hoping

Hi Lola,

I am sorry about your husband. Usually dementia that is not temporarily caused is permanent so he may not get better unless it is misdiagnosed.
I doubt that it will improve but different...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 04-03-2014, 11:40 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,826
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Hospice concerns

My late father-in-law died before we wanted to start hospice. So I have no idea what hospice really does for a demented person.
What I learned is that taking drugs is not the only way out when the...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-31-2014, 11:44 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 714
Posted By ninamarc
Re: New and needing advice

Dong,

I am sorry your Dad has been diagnosed with AD (Alzheimer's disease).
It is hard to believe in the beginning. My husband had trouble believing it too when his late father was diagnosed in...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-20-2014, 12:37 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 842
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Husband in advanced stage of Alzheimer's

Marianne,

Just want to let you know that you do not need to feel guilty. He may like the new home. A demented person does not think like you. Sometimes he can make up his own stories now whenever...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-18-2014, 06:23 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 614
Posted By ninamarc
Re: can they hear & understand you???

I am sorry this happened to your Dad. Sometimes we need to block off the strangers, but how do we know? You don't want to stop him from seeing people...
It is hard.
But I don't think your Dad...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-18-2014, 06:15 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 774
Posted By ninamarc
Re: family feud over assisted living

Actually in the home where my late FIL was (a home with dementia unit and skilled-care), they didn't allow any phone. They could not stop you from ordering the phone but they do not recommend it....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-18-2014, 01:33 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 598
Posted By ninamarc
Re: GPS trackers

I personally think caregivers are the best people to watch out for Dad and/or Mom.
In a dementia unit, the door is locked so the elders cannot go out alone.

At some point, esp. later stage, the...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 03-17-2014, 07:33 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 774
Posted By ninamarc
Re: family feud over assisted living

I am very sorry that your Dad has to live in the new home. I think you and your brother are doing what you can. Dad's brother has no way to invade your power. He is not the POA anyway. What can he...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 02-11-2014, 07:20 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 499
Posted By ninamarc
Re: alzheimer's disease

If they were diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, then the chance is higher for the relatives. Check with the doctor to find out about it. You may be able to test your genes. It is sad indeed,...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 02-11-2014, 07:17 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 603
Posted By ninamarc
Re: I need advice please...

Alzheimers is one type of dementia.
You need to find out what type of dementia she has.
For demented persons, you need to comfort her. She may not think of the real home. She may think of her...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 02-08-2014, 02:22 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 552
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mam just diagnosed

Sorry your Mom is diagnosed with AD. It is hard for family. Finally you are facing it and know what it is. This does not mean Mom will buy it. She will either deny it or forget about it later. It...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 02-07-2014, 07:48 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,421
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Alzheimers - "psychotic break" after mom's death? Dad's mental episodes. WTH?

I am so sorry that your Dad died. Please accept my condolences. It is so sad that he had those episodes before. I sure hope he rests in peace. Now please know that you did the best. Please come back...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 02-07-2014, 07:38 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 619
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Repetitive questions

It is so typical. My late father in law had lots of that repetition.
One thing you need to watch out is, never be impatient when he asks questions, repeated or not. Yes, the answer is the same...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-28-2014, 02:07 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,392
Posted By ninamarc
Re: My mother just took another step downward

I really feel for you, Luau. Deb has good advice about Lucy. I was lucky not to encounter so many situations that are impossible. We did have many occasions when my late FIL got angry and almost hit...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-26-2014, 09:57 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,392
Posted By ninamarc
Re: My mother just took another step downward

I thought about you. Was wondering how you are doing.
So sorry about your wife. I don't know what she has either. Probably you and your son do need to stay away from her for safety.

About your...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-24-2014, 11:50 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 827
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mom Thinks I am Mean to Her

I also want to mention that you may consider home care. Hiring a home care co. and the caregivers can come to help you part-time or take turns. You don't have to be there 24/7 given that your husband...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-24-2014, 11:48 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 779
Posted By ninamarc
Re: work and dementia

It takes patience. Sometimes the person has to co-operate slowly. It is slow in the process.

Thanks for replying.
Nina
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-19-2014, 08:06 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 827
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mom Thinks I am Mean to Her

It is part of the disease. It is Alzheimer's. The changes confused her. You had lived with her 15 years normally and then she got sick with dementia. Brother took her in not understanding her...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-14-2014, 07:40 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 792
Posted By ninamarc
Re: question about assisted living/memory care

It is true there are assisted living or dementia care facilities that you can send your husband to. It all depends on you. If you have a hard time to take care of him who is of very old age 90,...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-10-2014, 12:12 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 810
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Why would you even consider?

Some of these ALZ dementia drugs at best can only prolong the situation for 6 months overall and the drugs are not helping caregiving. People continue to say that aricept helps but it depends on the...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-07-2014, 12:31 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 548
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Passing on...

I am very sorry that your Mom passed. May she rest in peace.
Please accept my condolences.

You have done the best for her.

Take care,
Nina
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 01-03-2014, 11:31 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 558
Posted By ninamarc
Re: 2014

Happy New Year!
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-16-2013, 07:30 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 653
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mother getting placed before Christmas! Please help!

It sounds very bad for Mom. Usually we need to wait until the person forgets more before we send her away. This way she knows about it and will be upset for sure. Maybe she will accept it passively....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-15-2013, 11:28 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 653
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mother getting placed before Christmas! Please help!

The reputation of the home is also important. Make sure the home is good enough for Mom's condition. Also, usually dementia care is in an assisted living facility with locked unit and dementia care....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-15-2013, 11:20 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,024
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Should mom be given a walker

I agreed with you that Mom does not need a walker. Your sister may be in denial or does not understand her dementia. It sounds like she is in pretty late stage and needs comfort care. If you are...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-14-2013, 10:17 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 653
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mother getting placed before Christmas! Please help!

I think your sister should have talked to you first regarding her care. It is all about Mom. Does your sister have POA so she can do all she wants? At least she should talk to you.
One thing you...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-11-2013, 08:58 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 779
Posted By ninamarc
Re: work and dementia

It is hard sometimes. When the other person is angry with this situation and has arguments about dementia, things went wild and both sides are not happy. Esp. if the older person has more power. It...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-11-2013, 02:26 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 503
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Brain fitness

Hi Coolerkid,

I don't believe there are any special mental brain program for Alzheimer's patients.
In fact, most of these programs are for prevention.
For Alzheimer's patient, it is better to go...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-11-2013, 02:07 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 779
Posted By ninamarc
work and dementia

I wonder what people do when they have dementia and how do they decide when they need to quit work? Volunteer or paid...
Volunteers often are older people. Sometimes some elderly people want to...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-10-2013, 05:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 659
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mom passed. Shortly after I landed. Update.

So very sorry to know that your Mom passed. Please accept my condolences.

Poor Dad feels bad. I hope Dad will not have to bear with the bad news too long - he could forget about the death later....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-09-2013, 08:35 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,863
Posted By ninamarc
Re: I'm beginning to hate myself at what I've become

Deb has said it well.
Have you considered a hired part-time caregiver? You need a break. You love your Dad but you too have to rest. Please don't feel guilty. It is natural to complain given your...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-09-2013, 08:28 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,557
Posted By ninamarc
Re: How long before death in very late stage?

I think since he still walks and has activities, it may take a long while.
Usually it is near end stage when one cannot talk,walk and eat. When the person stops eating much, it could be near the...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-09-2013, 08:24 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 858
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Comprehending and other questions

Deb has good answers.
You know what we did? We never tried to pretend my husband was not the son. When my late FIL thought he was not his son, we gently said he is his son. So he got happy with it....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 12-02-2013, 09:00 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,039
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Mom in end state dementia in Hospice, and dad has cancer.

My late parents-in-law didn't want funerals either. We had some sort of small memorial later on for the friends. If you really need to, you can have a small memorial later for your Mom. I am sorry...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 11-11-2013, 08:26 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 773
Posted By ninamarc
Re: can live-in girlfriend get "family leave" ?

I am not surprised with her demand. However this makes it sound like she is very picky and calculated. It is like planning for herself and doesn't care so much about Dad. Surely she would have her...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 08-27-2013, 02:57 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 736
Posted By ninamarc
Re: help needed urgently

You said the boyfriend is verbal abusive. It is possible that he abuses your Mom.
If you can prove that she is incompetent, you could sue him for taking her away.
If he is abusive, maybe the social...
Board: Hospice 08-26-2013, 02:50 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 4,834
Posted By ninamarc
Re: How to best support family and patient in hospice?

I think a basket of fruits or snacks will be good. You can also talk to the family to see what they need. Don't assume what is good for them esp. the laughter part. They may feel very sad. Maybe some...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 08-26-2013, 02:40 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,378
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Nausea?

I am very sorry that your Mom passed away. Cathy!
Please accept my condolences and know that she is in heaven and not suffering now.

Hugs,
Nina
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 08-09-2013, 08:36 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,141
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Vascular Dementia - hospice and NH

Arleeda,

I am so sorry that your husband passed away. May he rest in peace.
This way he won't suffer any more disabilities and pain. The last year is always the toughest and most unpredictable....
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 07-29-2013, 01:27 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,141
Posted By ninamarc
Re: Vascular Dementia - hospice and NH

You should ask for hospice and find out what they can do for you. NH may have different advice for you but you have a right to look into it. Sometimes NH probably waits until last minute to tell you...
Board: Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 07-21-2013, 10:27 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 836
Posted By ninamarc
Re: other shoe

Arlee, I hope the hospice will work out and I still hope for your husband to get better.
You have my prayers with you and the family.

Hugs,
Nina
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