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Old 04-19-2004, 03:42 PM   #1
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Cutterchick076 HB User
Exclamation A question.

When any of you have ever been caught cutting. what were your parents and\or friends reactions. I've told my closest friends and they don't seem to care becuase they've tried it but are not cutters but i have yet to be caught by my parents. I'm debating on getting help but i want to know the most common reaction. (F.E. Anger , Surprise , Not Careing , Sending to therapists .)
Just stuff like that. I'm worried they will ignore me and my pleads for help.

Wanting to know.

~~Cutterchick076~~

 
Old 04-19-2004, 04:55 PM   #2
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Jackie1 HB User
Re: A question.

when my mom found out she was upset, disappointed and confused, all that crap...she cried for a long time and she kept on blaming it on herself. she didnt listen to me. she wouldnt shut up. my mom went through my emails and i was talking to someone online about me cutting. and my mom printed it out and came to my room...first thing she said was "show me ur arms now"...i said no for a while then i just showed her to get her off my back. about 1-2 weeks later she didnt seem to care..i told her that i would stop and i did for 5 months. then recently i had cuts on my hands and she told me to stop cutting my hands. i dont know if she knows that im still doing it. my dad didnt give a ****..he just asked if it hurt and junk and that was it. i hope that ur parents take u seriously and get the help that u want.

Jackie

 
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Old 04-19-2004, 07:36 PM   #3
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Cutterchick076 HB User
Re: A question.

Thank you for answering me. I just got back form a softball game and i am tired i will reply more tomorrow. or in a minute.

 
Old 04-19-2004, 07:42 PM   #4
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Re: A question.

My mom was angry at me, not because I was cutting, but because of the way she found out... Me being hospitalized for it. Which she felt made her look like a bad parent. That's as far as her caring about it went. None of my other family memebers cared though.. They still don't. They wondered why I did it, and now don't trust me, because there are things about me they dont know, but they don't care. My friends were really concerned, but im not freinds with those people anymore, the relationships i have now, the people don't understand, so i find myself constantly having to explain myself over and over again, but they do want and hope that i can stop. However, the last, last time i was hospitalized, i told my friends i was going to stop cutting, and my family thinks ive stopped, so no one really know except for a few, and those people seem to not really care anymore.. It seems like they have a "what else is new" mind frame about it now.. not that i tell them when i cut, but when they see it on accident.. but for the most part i keep it really private, so for the most part, no one really knows..

 
Old 04-19-2004, 09:10 PM   #5
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Ohiochick HB User
Re: A question.

My dad got a ticked off at me......he saw my leg on Easter one year and started yelling at me.
don't do that again, if I ever see that again I'll..........blah blah blah......
Like the yelling makes things better.

My mom didn't know what I was doing to my self until 3 years ago......
I started when I was 15....I am 25 now@!
but my In laws were like what the ****** are you doing that for?
then every now and then when I see them they ask if I am doing any better.
I don't have to fib and tell them yes any more........


I hope you find someone who will get you the help you need.
Take care.

 
Old 04-20-2004, 02:08 PM   #6
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cindy12345 HB User
Re: A question.

Here is an answer from a mom. When I found out my now 14yr old daughter was cutting for the 1st time (she was like 11 then) i just kinda ignored it STUPID ME! I thought it was a phase. It continued and I tried all I could to get her to see someone. Finally things got really bad and she had to be hospitalized because she had gone beyond just cutting. My first thought was where did I go wrong what could I have done differently. Now after several months and much education on the subject it is easier fi\or me and her. I am not ashamed of my daughter or what she does, not all people in this world have the same coping skills or face things the same way, we have therapy sessions 2 times a month to try to learn coping skills and it is helping
Another thing I never "hid" sharp objects at the house because if a person wants to do something bad enough they will no matter what. Also she has never lost her privacy although that has been hard for me at times. I also stocked up on bandages ointment and guaze she knows where it is. Does that sound cruel? In our case it works she knows i love her very much and am not ashamed of her. Sometimes now she is even able to come to me and say "mom, i'm having a hard time will you stay up with me/
And we may just set in silence for hours, what ever it takes to help her. sometimes we even laugh about things that have happened. Especially when she lost several "friends" due to her hospitalization. Mainly that was their parents objecting to her because she had been in a mental ward, but it has helped me to teach her not to be ashamed of who she is no matter what
ANYWAY THE POINT IS NOT ALL PARENTS REACT BADLY FOREVER
Sorry if I rambled on forever
Hugs to each and everyone of you I read your comments everyday even though I dont respond and pray for you all
HUGS

 
Old 04-20-2004, 02:32 PM   #7
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Cutterchick076 HB User
Exclamation Re: A question.

Your responses have helped me to tell the only friend that i think i can trust on the subject. She didn't over react and she didn't blow it off. She understood and told me that if i needed to talk that she would make time. She knows that i have had a tough past and all that stuff. She said that shes gona check on me when i'm depressed(sometimes at school i just sit there and stare blankly at objects and she knows that thats when i'm depressed) she said she's gonna make sure i don't do too much harm and go to far. She knows that i ahve attempted suicide before and knows i won't hesitate to try it again. Though i don't think i will cause life is improving. Thanks again for your responses and cindy you are one cool mom.

~~Cutterchick076~~

 
Old 04-20-2004, 04:01 PM   #8
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Cutterchick076 HB User
Exclamation Re: A question.

Here is an answer from a mom. When I found out my now 14yr old daughter was cutting for the 1st time (she was like 11 then) i just kinda ignored it STUPID ME! (Quote from cindy12345)

How did you find out? Did she tell you or did you confirm your suspicions with her or did you just know it from visual?

I want to let my mom find out on her own either from being told by someone that is not me or by her knowing it.

I don't want o be hospitalized and then her find out but if it comes to that it will probaly happen.

~~Cutterchick076~~


 
Old 04-21-2004, 09:41 AM   #9
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cindy12345 HB User
Re: A question.

I found out the first time by visual by accident. when i questioned her she gave me some lame excuse i believed because i did not want to believe my daughter would do that. Later she got suicidal and deeply depressed, she told a teacher in front of her whole class she was leaving to kill herself and left the room. thank god she went to her counselor for help because she really did not want to die and was scared. She began to see a few doctors and was diagnosed as bipolar. She was home on meds when i walked in the kitchen late one night and she was sitting in the corner with blood pouring down both arms, she had cut hersekf with a serated steak knife like 8 times on each arm. I helped her clean up and bandage up and called her doc the next day that is when she was hospitalized to get stable on some meds. It has not all gone away with the meds though, she still cuts when things get bad and she feels like she cant talk about it. She has many scars that will never fade but i have told her not to try to hide them use it as a helping point for someone else. We all go through things in this life that may possibly allow us to help someone in the future. If you want your mom to find out on her on then you have to allow the cuts to be visible where she will see them and she might even ignore them at first, parents tend to do that without meaning too. Last nite was a bad nite at my house my daughter had to face rejection from several people she thought were friends and she took it badly. not to much cutting but she is home alone today while i work and i am kinda worried. sometimes being in the hospital is not such a bad thing if it can get you the help you need. i'm hoping for the best for you MANY HUGS TO YOU CUTTERCHICK keep me posted on how things are going
Hugs , Cindy

 
Old 04-21-2004, 03:50 PM   #10
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Cutterchick076 HB User
Exclamation Re: A question.

Things are going ok. I'm mad at most of the friends i've told becuase they don't see it as a big problem they just see it as something i do and they don't take me seriously. Thankfully i have softball tonight which is one of the only things that keeps me sane. I'll talk back later.Thank you

~~Cutterchick076~~

 
Old 04-22-2004, 03:06 PM   #11
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MydeadSea HB User
Re: A question.

hey cutterchick. First of all, I want to say don't take it as a personal blow when your friends blow it off like its no big deal. I know thats hard to do but really, a lot of people don't understand it at all. They probably think you do it cus you're bored or just because you enjoy pain or something, I doubt it ever occurs to them that there's really something wrong. I've told a few friends about my cutting and some of them blew it off, and some of them freaked out and we're not friends anymore. My best friend noticed my arms one day and made me tell her about it. we went to the park and talked about it for hours, and talked about other things too and it turns out that some of the horrible thoughts I had, that I thought made me such a worthless person, she was having thoughts EXACTLY like it. But now when she sees that I cut, she just gives me a look of disaproval, and lets it go. It's good to have someone to talk to about it, but just make sure you're careful about who you tell, because people react in different ways. My family sees my arms and says 'whered you get all those scars from??" and I just tell them that I've had them forever and then I pretend to be irritated that this was the first time they noticed them (even though I wish they never noticed them) , and then they quit asking about it. (my last job was at an animal hospital, so thats what I tend to blame it on..nobody ever asks how I got scratched so deep, in such perfect lines, and on the undersides of my arms) Now as for my mom, I havent told her but she's seen my arms several times, and never once asked about them. I'm sure she has an idea, but if she asks, that'll only confirm her fear, so I guess she figures its best to just not know. well anyway, good luck on telling people , when you decide to, and just remember, if they stop being your friend because of it, then they were never really a friend to begin with. True friends will stick by your side.
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It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish-Mother teresa

 
Old 04-22-2004, 08:00 PM   #12
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zimnah HB User
Re: A question.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutterchick076
When any of you have ever been caught cutting. what were your parents and\or friends reactions. I've told my closest friends and they don't seem to care becuase they've tried it but are not cutters but i have yet to be caught by my parents. I'm debating on getting help but i want to know the most common reaction. (F.E. Anger , Surprise , Not Careing , Sending to therapists .)
Just stuff like that. I'm worried they will ignore me and my pleads for help.

Wanting to know.

~~Cutterchick076~~
I'm in my 30's, and my husband discovered me on the porch about 8 years ago. He didn't really react at all..he simply got some bandages, stopped the bleeding, and held me. I had bled enough that I felt numb, so I didn't cry, but he held me and it felt healing. He suggested therapy, but cutting is very private, so it took me a while. When I finally talked to a therapist about it, he suggested letting the ache in my arms get almost unbearable (resisting the urge to cut as long as I could), then plunging my arms into ice water. It helped. Sounds kind of lame, but the ice water stung and burned enough to help drain my emotional pain...and no scabs or scars to hide!! For this sort of thing, you really need to choose your audience carefully. If you think about it, and get beyond the "shock effect," (the effect that makes it satisfying to tell someone who talks to you in stupid cliches something really shockingly real), you will end up telling the right person who will either help you or help you find someone who can help you. Anyone who helps you hide it is not really helping. They would be as scared as you are. If you are asking the question, then you are ready to tell. Choose carefully, and don't back off if the first person has the wrong response. This is your life here, and you deserve to heal.
Dawn

Last edited by zimnah; 04-22-2004 at 08:03 PM.

 
Old 10-16-2004, 03:40 PM   #13
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stressedout411 HB User
Question Re: A question.

well when my parents found out about my cutting they were devastated and hurt and just for about the first week..... then it got back to normal things went to the old way where they were always shrugging me away for my brother, and 3 sisters..... I feel left out.... I still don't get treated like I am a person from many poeple. The first person my brother who is 17 verbally abuses me and occasionally gets mad and takes a fist........... I am 14 years old and I don't know what to do...... you need to get yourself help if you are still cutting I am seeking major help right now myself which has been secretive from my parents.... it is hard to deal with it .... but if you all stand together we can make it... no almost i feel their is a burden on my back as the problem child and i lost a lot of my friends but it can all be changed.... the pain will probally be unbearable emotionally for the first couple weeks to months after.......

 
Old 10-17-2004, 06:30 AM   #14
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TooFlaky HB User
Re: A question.

I'm 35. About 8 years ago, maybe a bit more maybe a bit less I don't know, my partner caught me in the bathroom doing my thing with a razor blade (he should have been at work but he'd forgotten something and came back an hour after he'd originally left). I was miles away in my own little cutting world and didn't hear him. Anyway all hell broke loose. He screamed at me, walked out of the house, came back 2 minutes later and phoned an ambulance.

Afterwards I tried to talk to him about it but he didn't really understand it - but I don't blame him for that because I don't really understand it myself. Before then I hadn't cut since I was in my teens. My partner had obviously already seen the pretty horrific scarring from my teenage cutting years but accepted that it was from some sort of obscure accident I'd had! - and we left it at that and never talked about it again til the day he caught me at it. I think people will believe and accept anything if the truth is too painful to cope with.

Now we do talk about it occasionally - very rarely though because I'm the one who has to instigate any discussion on it and mostly I don't want to talk to anyone about it. But over the years my partner has got better at listening without judging.

Nobody else knows because I always wear long sleeves - even in boiling hot weather! At school I always wore long sleeves in gym glasses and I'd go into the toilets to change. I never did swimming - I said I had a fear of water and got my grandmother to write a note to the head teacher backing up my story.There are occasional times when people have accidentally seen the scarring and have looked mildly horrified. But I just ignore it. No one close to me, except my partner, has questioned it because I am extra careful never to show my arms when I'm around friends and family.

Last edited by TooFlaky; 10-17-2004 at 06:32 AM.

 
Old 10-17-2004, 01:37 PM   #15
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romandefauvel HB User
Re: A question.

Anger: "Why didn't you call me if you felt so bad?" (i was scared!)

Vindictiveness: "Sign this stipulated agreement forfeiting custody of our kids!" (I would never, ever, ever hurt them; I'M A GOOD DAD!)

coupled with...

Advice: "If you would just quit drinking/drink more/smoke pot/quit working so hard/relax/forgive your dad yourself your ex-wife/sue your ex-wife..."

Non-cutters don't get how good it feels.

 
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