do you think that if you cut yourself where people can see them (aka wrists) that it means, even if subconsciously, that you want attention from others? I think that might have something to do with it, and that really really bothers me about myself. I don't want to be someone that isn't happy without heaps of attention, and that just makes me want to do it more, thus the cycle continues. Does this bother anyone else?
I cut the (insert cuss word here) out of my wrist last night. I do it with a simple disposable razor but it looks really scary actually, bled a lot. I'm so sick of this but I can't pretend that I even want to stop.
I think on some level it could be for attention..but not in a "look at me!" kind of way...maybe more of a "holy cow I'm really hurting here, why won't somebody listen" kinda way....or "can't you just for one minute try to understand how I'm feeling" kinda way. I think people who cut, or injure themselves in another way, are just on the "sensitive" side of the spectrum...we feel too much, too often...I guess what some people would call over-reacting? I think that when the injuries are made in visible areas, it is because someone is hurting so badly that they'd really like someone to notice, and share the hurt with them, and help them deal with it.
My wrists were always my favorite place to cut because somehow the pain was better there. I always wore long sleeve shirts so no one would see. One day when I was at work, (I wore thermal shirts under my workshirt) but it was hot and I forgot about my wrists (which I had covered with gauze or something because they had been bleeding) my boss saw it and said "oh, what are you trying to kill yourself?" with a sarcastic tone and snicker. I was mortified. It was not my intent for anyone to know I was a cutter.
When I started cutting again I went to my ankles because they were easy to hide. I never wear shorts or skirts. It just wasn't quite the same for me.
I know what you mean about the not wanting to stop. I always felt a strange sense of pride and accomplishment from doing it. I am now working on finding healthier ways to handle certain situations. I hope that you are able to do that as well.
I always cut my legs cos id hate ppl to see it, but the two times iv cut my arms its been out of total frustration, like i didn't have time to waste and just cut 1st possible place.
I think with some people it may be a cry for help, but i don't think its a subconscious thing that's in everyone.
I think i feel too much, i hate when people say i over react cos it actually just my reaction, if that makes sense?
I agree with jen partly, people want someone to realise how much they're hurting. On the other hand, the wrist is just the stereotypical place to injure oneself, the whole "cut your wrist and you die" thing. also i agree with alba, it's accessable.
as to you digmusic, if you're sick of it, that means you know it's not something you should be doing. I do understand why people do it, but try to wean off it, try to beat it. we all support you.xxx
i know when i started cutting i didnt know what was going on inside of me i just hurt so bad but i did not want to die i just wanted to feel the pain so i cut my wrist and then i moved on to my leg then my thighs and i havent cut for about 3 monts but i do have really bad erges it is hard to bypass but you just have to pray if you belive in god well just think about your future and all you want to do in life and tell your self not to do it and that you will not do it belive in yourself
For some people like me it wasnt for attention at all. ( I havent cut in almost 2 years). Because I didnt want people to know I cut so I hid it under braclets and stuff. So people would see at all. I still wear braclets and long sleeves on my one arm cause I have scars still but they are skin colored but slightly raise lines. From a distance you cant really seem but up close you can really see that I used to cut. Its embarrasing lol
I think that in my case, a part of me wants someone to see how much I am hurting on the inside because the pain shows up as cuts on the outside.
Mostly I do it to relieve emotional pain. When I cut, I am usually bawling my eyes out and I can't stop crying... it always seems to happen at night, when I'd rather be sleeping than crying. Cutting somehow calms me down and then I can go to sleep.
I cut last night before going to bed. I woke up several times in the middle of the night and the cuts were hurting very badly. My shirt kept sticking to them - OW! A part of me felt comforted by this pain because I felt I deserved it. My pain was helping to even up the score with the universe, so to speak.
I was kind of "out of it" when I was cutting last night. I was still crying of course, but I didn't realize how much damage I was doing until the woke up the next morning and saw it -- and it shocked the freaking heck out of me. It looks HORRIBLE. There must be over a hundred cuts. Some of them are in a very visible place. I hid it with makeup the best I could. But what was I thinking???? There is no way I can hide this from my fiance. I have to think that maybe deep down, I wanted him to know I was cutting -- cutting to punish myself for the grief I'd caused him.
At any rate, I wrote a loooong post about this... I feel that now I am forced to tell him about the cutting. I am really scared, but maybe this was my way of showing him how horribly, deeply sorry I am.
I cut on the underside of my arm and so unless i am reaching for the sky they don't show. I cut just yesterday and happily no one is the wiser for it. So with it being summer out I can still wear short sleeve shirts with fear that I am going to be stared at for the scars. The tops of my armz have scars but many of them aren't as noticible as they were a year or so ago. I pick my skin so I got plenty of scars from that as well. I wouldn't say I do it for other people's attention but rather to draw my own attention to say hey idiot this is not going rigth for ya and you need to do something about it....ok i am bit slow on some things...Emerald
I too agree with Jen. It's almost lame to me to say it's a "cry for help" but in some cases it is. I think it just depends on what's going on when your cutting. I have an odd question though. Although usually I'm very private about my cutting there have been times I do it to be defiant. Does that make sense? Like somehow by me cutting and bleeding it's punishing someone else that has made me angry? I don't really know how to explain it. Then theres this brief moment I want to throw it in thier face that I hurt myself. But then I feel ashamed and the cycle that digmusic was talking about starts all over again. Does that happen to anyone else? I guess at those times I really want some attention and help, but by the time I'm done cutting I'm to ashamed to show anybody.