I searched every board on the Health site before I came to this one. My... problem is caused by depression, you see, Iím a cutter. And I really want to tell my mom, but I don't know if I have the heart to do it.
You see, I started self injury near a year ago, at the beginning of the school year because my stepbrother said hurtful things. I used a flame and literally burnt my arms. I told my mom what Iíd done that night and she'd panicked. She went silent and looked at me, showing disappointment. You know the type, the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" expression. I honestly wish I could have gotten yelled at.
In January, I started cutting myself. My step-brother and I got into this big brawl and next thing I know Iím watching my blood. Ever since that day, Iíd been cutting nearly daily. I wanted to tell my mom but I feared her reaction.
Everyday since, Iíve wanted to tell her. I still do but I don't know how. When I think of it, I have panic attacks and I shiver and shake and I get short of breath but I can't take it anymore. I don't want to kill myself. I'm tired of it. I tried to quit cutting, back in March, and I successfully did it, for three weeks, but I started up again. Yes, because my stepbrother and I got into a fight.
Now, while you're asking yourself does this post really have a point here in the Depression board or in the Health boards in general, it does. I'm clinically depressed and this thought of telling my mom is making me worse. I need help, because I know that if I walk into my mom's room tomorrow and ask her if I can talk, she'll either be too busy to pay attention or Iíll suddenly burst into tears and not be able to talk. Do you have any ideas?
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. You should move this post to the self injury recovery board. There are a lot of supportive people there and I'm sure they could give you some solid, helpful advice on how to tell you mom about your cutting. This topic has come up many times on the self injury board so you may even want to read thorugh some of the past posts. On a personal note, please get some help. Self injury is not the answer for your pain. Good luck to you and god bless!
Brooke, what you are doing to yourself is terrible. You cannot hurt yourself that way . You are punishing yourself because your step brother is a creep. You cant give him the satisfation. I know it hurts when people are mean to you.
You have to sit down with your mom and talk to her. She loves you and will get you the help that you need. Please stop cutting yourself. You have accomplished nothing by doing this. I try to go on this site everyday and i am here if you need to talk to someone ok. You dont deserve what you are doing to yourself.
please talk to your mom and she will get you some help.
remember we are all here for you let us know how you are doing. the best way to tell your mom is just to tell her how you feel and what you are doing ok. do it right away. She wont be happy but she will help you . thats what moms are for. good luck to you and let us here from you.
Hi honey! As much as you don't want to, I think that you really should tell your mom. If you can't tell her, tell your school counselor. I know that you're afraid of her reaction, but I think that if you are really honest with her about the reasons why you cut, and tell her that you ARE depressed, it's not just a teenage thing, she will understand.
A lot of people think that people who cut are just trying to get attention... I think that it's somewhat opposite... they prefer not to be noticed and deal with their pain in their own way.
I hope that things get better for you, and I also encourage you to try the self-injury board. I know that there are plenty of cross-overs in both boards, but more people can probably relate to your situation there.