| | How do i tell my mom?
I searched every board on the Health site before I came to this one. My... problem is caused by depression, you see, Iím a cutter. And I really want to tell my mom, but I don't know if I have the heart to do it.
You see, I started self injury near a year ago, at the beginning of the school year because my stepbrother said hurtful things. I used a flame and literally burnt my arms. I told my mom what Iíd done that night and she'd panicked. She went silent and looked at me, showing disappointment. You know the type, the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" expression. I honestly wish I could have gotten yelled at.
In January, I started cutting myself. My step-brother and I got into this big brawl and next thing I know Iím watching my blood. Ever since that day, Iíd been cutting nearly daily. I wanted to tell my mom but I feared her reaction.
Everyday since, Iíve wanted to tell her. I still do but I don't know how. When I think of it, I have panic attacks and I shiver and shake and I get short of breath but I can't take it anymore. I don't want to kill myself. I'm tired of it. I tried to quit cutting, back in March, and I successfully did it, for three weeks, but I started up again. Yes, because my stepbrother and I got into a fight.
Now, while you're asking yourself does this post really have a point here in the Depression board or in the Health boards in general, it does. I'm clinically depressed and this thought of telling my mom is making me worse. I need help, because I know that if I walk into my mom's room tomorrow and ask her if I can talk, she'll either be too busy to pay attention or Iíll suddenly burst into tears and not be able to talk. Do you have any ideas?