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Old 03-12-2007, 06:57 PM   #1
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ducky78 HB User
Im new to this board

I am 29 years old and put it lightly I am a mess. I have 3 children and been with my boyfriend for 13 years. I have not cut for 9 months, but about 2 months ago I got into a fight with my boyfriend and I was so angry I started to bite my arms. I have done self injury since I was 11 and that was mostly cutting. I was wondering if anyone else has went from cutting to biting?

 
Old 03-14-2007, 03:24 AM   #2
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Re: Im new to this board

Ducky, I am so sorry no one has replied to you since you posted. Some of us visit more than one board...PTSD, Depression, etc.

First I have to ask you if you have ever seen a therapist, or are you currently doing so?

I do SI, but I don't cut, so I can't speak to that specifically. Since you posted the help message above, how have you been doing? Any cutting or biting since that date?

What I hear you saying above is that you are quite disturbed by your new method of SI...the biting.

 
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Old 03-14-2007, 04:10 AM   #3
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Re: Im new to this board

It has been a while since I was here. Or at least it feels that way at the moment. I have always stuck to cutting and so I do not know what others experiences are. I have heard of people who do have more then one method of SI. Though I could not say if they stopped one for the other at any time. Is there a reason you chose biting specifically? I mean that unless the skin is broken probably won't be the scars and so forth associated with SI. Or was it the moment and no thought really went into it? Just curious I suppose if anything really.
Emerald

 
Old 03-14-2007, 05:21 AM   #4
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Re: Im new to this board

Good morning all --- I am certainly no exper tin SI as I have never been stricken with it BUT have read multiple posts regarding feeilgs towards it and the want/need to stop. Everyone seems to have a different reason and outcome from it but as a bystander I have picked up ANGER in all. whether or not you are angry at yourself or someone else it appears that injuring yourselves brings feeling back or gets rid of a feeling you don't want. When angry it sort of snaps you out of the uncomfrotable feeling though SI should be uncomfortable. switching from one method to another stands out in my mind as an alcoholic/drug addict. They will quit one behaviour for another. Still addiciton. Has anyone tried through therapy to look at SI as an addiction and treat it as such? try to replace it with a good behaviour instead of another bad. Alcoholics alot of times will quit drinking and start smoking pot. The ones that make it generally replace drinking with running, walking some sort of energy effective activity. I hopw I have offended no one for as I said I am no expert but wish peace and happiness to all in breaking this self-destructive behaviour. God keep youall safe.


ICC

 
Old 03-14-2007, 06:30 AM   #5
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emeraldeyes114 HB User
Re: Im new to this board

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC View Post
Good morning all --- I am certainly no exper tin SI as I have never been stricken with it BUT have read multiple posts regarding feeilgs towards it and the want/need to stop. Everyone seems to have a different reason and outcome from it but as a bystander I have picked up ANGER in all. whether or not you are angry at yourself or someone else it appears that injuring yourselves brings feeling back or gets rid of a feeling you don't want. When angry it sort of snaps you out of the uncomfrotable feeling though SI should be uncomfortable. switching from one method to another stands out in my mind as an alcoholic/drug addict. They will quit one behaviour for another. Still addiciton. Has anyone tried through therapy to look at SI as an addiction and treat it as such? try to replace it with a good behaviour instead of another bad. Alcoholics alot of times will quit drinking and start smoking pot. The ones that make it generally replace drinking with running, walking some sort of energy effective activity. I hopw I have offended no one for as I said I am no expert but wish peace and happiness to all in breaking this self-destructive behaviour. God keep youall safe.


ICC
ICC I had never thought of anything remotely in that manner of treating SI like an addiction even though I know it can be one. The anger as you said I agree with and is much the same thing (at least for me) as the anger for some who are depressed. I found a lot of wisdom in your insight and was glad I checked back with the thread. I hope you will continue to post here when you can.

Emerald

 
Old 03-14-2007, 08:33 AM   #6
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Lost_in_Time HB User
Re: Im new to this board

I feel for you. I know how hard it is to fight the urges. I have gone from cutting to other things, not biting though. It just depends upon situations. Sometimes other things are easier to do........sometimes other things don't leave the marks....I mean, there are many reasons why I do several other things....

Just keep fighting. Never give up. Even if you give in today, it doesnt' mean you are a failure. It just means you start figthing the battle over and win all the little victories you can and when you lose one, you just tell yourself it's okay but that you can do better.....I guess waht I'm trying to say is that sometimes I felt like if I gave in I was a total failure so why try to keep fighting it......but, it doens't mean that and we just have to keep fighting.

I agree....have you seen a counselor of any kind for this..talked it through.....???? Even doing that might not necessarily help you stop altogether but it can be, at least, a help......

I am better than i used to be, but i still do it.....stress gets to me....

I try to find something else to do to distract me. Do something nice that you like to do....or sometimes I hold ice in my hands till I can't stand it....I try to do something with my hands like make cookies (get your hands in the dough) or clean ho use or soemthing to take my mind off of it, or go somewhere where I can't....in the middle of the mall.....

distractions can help ...

Keep talking to us.....and hope you can find some help for it.....

Lost

 
Old 03-14-2007, 02:46 PM   #7
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Re: Im new to this board

SI is an addiction. Like alcoholics drink to avoid life and what they perceive as a lack of control in their own life.

We do SI to avoid something too, usually a feeling of not having control of our lives. That feeling is deep-seated. SI is a personal thing. No one has control over how, what or why we do it. No one can tell us to stop and like magic it just stops.

The KEY is to find the root of it through therapy!!

Whether biting, cutting, picking, hair pulling, etc., one has to have the desire to STOP.
No one can completely stop without professional help.
Well, yes I can stop for a couple of days, but long term...not!
Not with out help.

Carolyn

p.s. I look forward to the day when I can stop and I hope that it will be within this year. My work is proving to be quite difficult and emotionally painful, to the extent that I have to take an Ativan before my psycho appt's, but if this is what it takes...I am there!!

 
Old 03-15-2007, 08:40 AM   #8
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Re: Im new to this board

Carolyn, you will stop SI one day - you are on your way to better mental health, you are!

 
Old 03-16-2007, 06:50 AM   #9
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Re: Im new to this board

I have bite since the last time. I am going to the doctor today I hoping to tell her about my problem. But i dont know if I will have enough courage to say anything. Thank you for all of your replies, They are really helpful. Ducky78

I will update everyone about the doctor appiontment.

Last edited by ducky78; 03-16-2007 at 07:07 AM.

 
Old 03-16-2007, 03:02 PM   #10
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Re: Im new to this board

ducky, you can find the courage. It is there, you just have to lasso it and hold on tight to it!

I told on my therapist only about a month ago, maybe a couple weeks more than that.

It was one of the hardest things I have had to tell anyone in a long, long time.

My anxiety was at a peak. I couldn't breath. I twisted my pinkie ring (one of my picking replacements). I cried over the humiliation of just telling someone.

Believe me when I say, you and I are not the first people to tell a therapist about SI. They have heard it before, and as with my Dr.Jim, he guessed what I was working so hard to tell him. So, he finally just said something like, "Are you trying to tell me you hurt yourself." With a big sigh of the tiniest relief I said, yes.

Then the next step was just as hard, to tell him how I hurt myself...what manner do I use.

But, once the saying of it was over, I felt a little better. I finally had someone in my life I didn't have to hide from.

Just do it!! Tell it!! It will be the beginning of the end.

Just don't expect the end to come immediately. First you need to get to the reason for the doing of SI, then you will be on the road to recovery. Like any other addiction, one CAN NOT expect to recover ALONE!!

Come back and tell us how it went.
If you told, how did it feel and how did your doc receive the telling of it?
If you didn't tell, why not and how can we help you to "turn yourself into you doc?"

Just one of your new support group ,
Carolyn

Last edited by orchardlady; 03-17-2007 at 07:51 AM.

 
Old 03-17-2007, 04:24 AM   #11
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Re: Im new to this board

good morning all ---- though i am no experct in Si I am in addictions. Alot o fexperience with it. I for most of my life was addicted to abuse. I guess I liked it as I have let many abuse me and always went back for more. Being addicted to others bad behaviour is hard to conquer but i did. Through therapy you can all beak this addiction but remember one is usually replaced with another unless you seek the help needed. We are all here to help each other and most have a truly wonderful therapist who is greatly needed. I hope I can hlep in some way as all are wonderful people who have been hurt so much in the past that believe they should now hurt themselves. Prayers.


ICC

 
Old 03-17-2007, 06:26 PM   #12
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Re: Im new to this board

i have told my doctor and she has directed me to a therapist. She told me about DBT program, I am still a little scared. I dont trust many people, I am waiting for someone to say I am stupid for taking this path. My boyfriend has asked me if this will affect my job area. I am going to college to be a medical transcriptionist.I am worried about if I get any type of mental health help that will affect my future in the job area. As far as health records. I dont know what i should do. I am really confused now.

 
Old 03-18-2007, 02:35 AM   #13
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Re: Im new to this board

Ducky ---- I am so glad you got help from the Dr. and will pray that you find a good therapist you can build a relationship with. As far as Medical records go I believe due to HIIPA laws they are private unless you say otherwise. Please concentrate on getting well right now since if you don't you will put yourself in a position of possible never finishing school and not fulfilling your dream of being a medical transcriptionist. I know some jobs ask for records. Ask your therapist how much they submit if asked. My therapist told me several times that in legal procedings all they will submit is the cover sheet of a dx. anything else will not be submitted unless requested by a Judge. I checked this out recently as I do not want any of my sessions or prgress reports to become public record. She assured me they would not. Best of luck. Let me know how therapy is going.



ICC

 
Old 03-18-2007, 07:02 AM   #14
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Re: Im new to this board

thank you, the information was very helpful. I do want to get the help, but I find myself trying to make excuses. I figure if I make an excuse then I dont have to deal with any of my problems. I am really scared about trusting someone, I have always felt that no one would really care about my problems.

 
Old 03-18-2007, 07:39 AM   #15
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Re: Im new to this board

I know Ducky ---- did the same thing for many , many years . Lost half of my life because of my own excuses. It is so much easier to hide and hold everything in but so much more rewarding to let it out. My thoughts are with you. Keep me posted.


ICC

 
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