It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Self-injury Recovery Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-10-2007, 09:15 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United States of America
Posts: 3
Bell01 HB User
How do you explain your scars?

I have a series of scars on my right leg, not to terrible but not exactly....well you know. Anyway, i'm kind of a prefromer in Color Guard (not to be confused with ROTC, color guard is the visual aspect of a marching band. we spin flags, rifles, sabers, and once in awhile something interesting like ballons.) and these scars are persenting a bit of an issue.
We have camps during the summer where we're outside all day. Naturally, the choice of clothing is shorts. This year isn't so bad, i pulled it off with capris, but i want to try out for drum corps, (super elite marching band) and they have a practice dress code where shorts are required.
My question is, how is a good way to explain your scars? I don't want to explain them away, or just say 'yeah, i'm a cutter' because very few people know about it. i just want to know what some reactions to look for, or good ways to explain it.

 
Old 09-06-2007, 10:28 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: ,In the desert, AZ, USA
Posts: 10
Somni Divine HB User
Re: How do you explain your scars?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bell01 View Post
I have a series of scars on my right leg, not to terrible but not exactly....well you know. Anyway, i'm kind of a prefromer in Color Guard (not to be confused with ROTC, color guard is the visual aspect of a marching band. we spin flags, rifles, sabers, and once in awhile something interesting like ballons.) and these scars are persenting a bit of an issue.
We have camps during the summer where we're outside all day. Naturally, the choice of clothing is shorts. This year isn't so bad, i pulled it off with capris, but i want to try out for drum corps, (super elite marching band) and they have a practice dress code where shorts are required.
My question is, how is a good way to explain your scars? I don't want to explain them away, or just say 'yeah, i'm a cutter' because very few people know about it. i just want to know what some reactions to look for, or good ways to explain it.
I've found most people don't ask, but you can always answer with "Do you always ask everyone personal questions about their body?" or something like that.
Or, you can say "I cut myself." That shuts them up right there usually, if they ask how you can use the above "line" or you can say "I got in a fight with a sharp object and lost" ...
Usually if you think up something witty, and have it ready ahead of time, and if you make it obvious that you don't want to pursue the conversation, only someone you don't want to bother answering anyway will pursue it. So then, what I do, is NOT ANSWER when it gets to that point. At some point they will feel like an idiot for being so nosey.
The thing is to make them FEEL like they are being nosey and intrusive because they usually are.
Or tell them something off the wall - like "well, have you ever heard of that huge monster with sixteen rows of teeth, its called a (whateveryouwannacallit)??? and when they say "NO" you can say "Well obviously I HAVE and I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"
I hope that gives you some ideas that work for you.
I know what it's like to bear the scars.
By the way, tattoos can help cover them up if you get a good artist and don't mind a tattoo. You will still see the scars, but other people will see the tattoo.
Also, dermatologists can do wonders with lazers and different chemical treatments. And I would recommend a woman doctor, they are usually more concerned about "appearances" and more compassionate and understanding if you decide to tell them how you got your scars, a lot of times they are proud of you for taking steps to get rid of them.
Let me know what you think.
Best wishes -- and I hope you are getting through or are already through the chapter in your life that made that happen. I've been there, done that, and never thought it would stop, but thank God it's been years now!
All the best to you
~S.D.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-08-2007, 06:47 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: gambier,ohioUSA
Posts: 618
teresa2007 HB User
Re: How do you explain your scars?

It is a very uncomfortable question
I remember someone asking me once Did you get in a fight with a cat? I said no i got in a fight with myself They hugged me

 
Old 11-08-2007, 08:47 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,770
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: How do you explain your scars?

Hi:

I would imagine it would have a lot to do with where the scars are, how long they have been there and so forth.

Older scars most people tend to ignore as the age of them kind of speaks of a distant event plus hopefully they have faded to a point where a pretty simple escuse will get you by - heck I guess old scars can just be summed up with "a long time ago I had a bad night"

Newer scars are a lot harder to get explain, if there are only a small series the I got into a fight with a cat usually works, if it is a large area that is covered by scars most people won't even ask as they have probably figured it out them selfs and don't want to make you uncomfortable.

There are a lot of over the counter products that will help you cover up the scars for short durations, a day or so, and also products that help minimize the scars by speading up the fading and shrinking process

take care
trg247

 
Old 11-11-2007, 11:06 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oxford UK
Posts: 2
Oxon17 HB User
Re: How do you explain your scars?

I tel lthem the truth- soon shut's up the nosy people as they feel awquard!! -True pals stay and chat!

I was addicted to self harming, so I know people look

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
white scars hooter05 Beauty & Cosmetics 3 05-21-2009 03:11 PM
Please help me indented scars horrible texture myinspiration Rosacea 1 04-07-2009 11:16 AM
depressed over scars : very sad kdlws37 Acne 5 11-01-2007 02:33 AM
Sleepless...result of trying to explain me to a friend orchardlady Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 6 03-13-2007 04:23 AM
Can anyone explain the Sentinal Lymph node Mapping? txlady3k Cancer: Skin 6 04-22-2005 03:04 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:56 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!