Originally Posted by Bell01
I have a series of scars on my right leg, not to terrible but not exactly....well you know. Anyway, i'm kind of a prefromer in Color Guard (not to be confused with ROTC, color guard is the visual aspect of a marching band. we spin flags, rifles, sabers, and once in awhile something interesting like ballons.) and these scars are persenting a bit of an issue.
We have camps during the summer where we're outside all day. Naturally, the choice of clothing is shorts. This year isn't so bad, i pulled it off with capris, but i want to try out for drum corps, (super elite marching band) and they have a practice dress code where shorts are required.
My question is, how is a good way to explain your scars? I don't want to explain them away, or just say 'yeah, i'm a cutter' because very few people know about it. i just want to know what some reactions to look for, or good ways to explain it.
I've found most people don't ask, but you can always answer with "Do you always ask everyone personal questions about their body?" or something like that.
Or, you can say "I cut myself." That shuts them up right there usually, if they ask how you can use the above "line" or you can say "I got in a fight with a sharp object and lost" ...
Usually if you think up something witty, and have it ready ahead of time, and if you make it obvious that you don't want to pursue the conversation, only someone you don't want to bother answering anyway will pursue it. So then, what I do, is NOT ANSWER when it gets to that point. At some point they will feel like an idiot for being so nosey.
The thing is to make them FEEL like they are being nosey and intrusive because they usually are.
Or tell them something off the wall - like "well, have you ever heard of that huge monster with sixteen rows of teeth, its called a (whateveryouwannacallit)??? and when they say "NO" you can say "Well obviously I HAVE and I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"
I hope that gives you some ideas that work for you.
I know what it's like to bear the scars.
By the way, tattoos can help cover them up if you get a good artist and don't mind a tattoo. You will still see the scars, but other people will see the tattoo.
Also, dermatologists can do wonders with lazers and different chemical treatments. And I would recommend a woman doctor, they are usually more concerned about "appearances" and more compassionate and understanding if you decide to tell them how you got your scars, a lot of times they are proud of you for taking steps to get rid of them.
Let me know what you think.
Best wishes -- and I hope you are getting through or are already through the chapter in your life that made that happen. I've been there, done that, and never thought it would stop, but thank God it's been years now!
All the best to you