I've completely relapsed and am cutting every day again. I'm not sure how to deal with the situation that caused the relapse, I really want to have the strength to talk to my therapist about it, but everytime I try I just panic and can't get it out. I don't want to become this person again, up until a week ago I hadn't cut in almost a year. Can anyone offer any advice?
Try writing out the problem out on paper then hand it over to her at the start of your appointment. You have stopped before and your more then capable of stopping again. Self harm is just a negative coping mechanism that is potentially dangerous. Remember all of the tools you used when you first stopped and it is time you take them back out of the closet. Just focus on getting through today and take each day as it comes and hopefully pretty soon you will be back in recovery.
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
thanks for the writing idea, I don't know why I didn't think about it...but I'm not really thinking too clear these days. I feel so pathetic and disgusted with myself, I can't even shave my legs without zoning out and ending up cutting myself. I don't know but it seems like every time I relapse the desire is greater.
i know exactly how you feel!, i was improving but i fell into old habits again, unfortunately i dont feel as bad about it as i perhaps should!, and yeah, im avoiding shaving myself,, its just too tempting,
writing down how you feel is a great idea,
im also thinking of showing my therapist some pictures to explain how i feel, he always asks me and i just cant put it in words, so im going to print out some pictures and show him, some of them arent very nice, but thats whats in my head,,
hope your appointment goes well,
It does help to have someone to talk to that understands how you feel. I've been cutting myself for about 27 years, and have managed to hide it from my family, basically because they never cared enough to notices I guess when I was younger, and with my husband I'm just very careful and have really good excuses. I hate having to lie and hide, but the need for this is so strong, everytime something goes wrong, or I feel like I've failed at something yet again, or something is my fault....I can't not do it. I'm working on it with my pdoc and tdoc, but it's just not something you can quit doing because someone wants you too, you know?
I'm sure stress has alot to do with it, I'm also BiPolar, and have just got my meds adjusted and come out of a pretty severe bout of depression. And recently am trying to deal with a childhood trauma with my tdoc....so it's just a bunch of stuff to try and work on all at one time...that in itself seems overwhelming. I've been fighting the cutting battle for 28 years and have quite many times, so when I relapse it just really feels like i'm such a failure.
i hadnt (idk if thats a word) cut in 4 months and just today i went back to it.. i hate the scars but it makes me not so sad and not so mad at w/e made me mad.. Its the only way to relieve it. Pain is the only way and i hate it.. im gonna try rubberbands, try it too and i will tell you how it worked for me.. but for now, believe me stop doing it and grab the rubberband..