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Old 04-23-2008, 09:25 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2008
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katlin09 HB User
Complete relapse

I've completely relapsed and am cutting every day again. I'm not sure how to deal with the situation that caused the relapse, I really want to have the strength to talk to my therapist about it, but everytime I try I just panic and can't get it out. I don't want to become this person again, up until a week ago I hadn't cut in almost a year. Can anyone offer any advice?

Old 04-23-2008, 01:02 PM   #2
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Re: Complete relapse

Try writing out the problem out on paper then hand it over to her at the start of your appointment. You have stopped before and your more then capable of stopping again. Self harm is just a negative coping mechanism that is potentially dangerous. Remember all of the tools you used when you first stopped and it is time you take them back out of the closet. Just focus on getting through today and take each day as it comes and hopefully pretty soon you will be back in recovery.

take care
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Old 04-23-2008, 05:52 PM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2008
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katlin09 HB User
Re: Complete relapse

thanks for the writing idea, I don't know why I didn't think about it...but I'm not really thinking too clear these days. I feel so pathetic and disgusted with myself, I can't even shave my legs without zoning out and ending up cutting myself. I don't know but it seems like every time I relapse the desire is greater.

Old 04-26-2008, 11:38 AM   #4
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xpoppyx HB User
Re: Complete relapse

i know exactly how you feel!, i was improving but i fell into old habits again, unfortunately i dont feel as bad about it as i perhaps should!, and yeah, im avoiding shaving myself,, its just too tempting,

writing down how you feel is a great idea,
im also thinking of showing my therapist some pictures to explain how i feel, he always asks me and i just cant put it in words, so im going to print out some pictures and show him, some of them arent very nice, but thats whats in my head,,

hope your appointment goes well,
best wishes,

Last edited by xpoppyx; 04-26-2008 at 11:39 AM.

Old 04-26-2008, 03:41 PM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2008
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katlin09 HB User
Re: Complete relapse

It does help to have someone to talk to that understands how you feel. I've been cutting myself for about 27 years, and have managed to hide it from my family, basically because they never cared enough to notices I guess when I was younger, and with my husband I'm just very careful and have really good excuses. I hate having to lie and hide, but the need for this is so strong, everytime something goes wrong, or I feel like I've failed at something yet again, or something is my fault....I can't not do it. I'm working on it with my pdoc and tdoc, but it's just not something you can quit doing because someone wants you too, you know?

Old 05-03-2008, 04:46 PM   #6
Join Date: Mar 2008
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katlin09 HB User
Re: Complete relapse

I'm sure stress has alot to do with it, I'm also BiPolar, and have just got my meds adjusted and come out of a pretty severe bout of depression. And recently am trying to deal with a childhood trauma with my it's just a bunch of stuff to try and work on all at one time...that in itself seems overwhelming. I've been fighting the cutting battle for 28 years and have quite many times, so when I relapse it just really feels like i'm such a failure.

Old 05-03-2008, 05:09 PM   #7
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Re: Complete relapse

Hello K,

You really shouldn't view relapse as an absolute failure.

When a person that truly wants to recover relapses, they learn a bit more about themselves in doing so.

Relapse is not a requirement in the process of recovery but becomes a reality for many.

You are not alone in the struggle.

I am glad that your meds have been adjusted, which will hopefully address your psychological disorders.

Remember that you have only failed when you cease to present the effort, which often begins in the mind.

Take care.


Last edited by Phoenix; 05-05-2008 at 06:18 AM. Reason: re-wording of 3rd sentence

Old 07-16-2008, 09:45 PM   #8
Join Date: Jul 2008
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ilalalaloveyou HB User
Wink Re: Complete relapse

i totally know how you feel,

i hadnt (idk if thats a word) cut in 4 months and just today i went back to it.. i hate the scars but it makes me not so sad and not so mad at w/e made me mad.. Its the only way to relieve it. Pain is the only way and i hate it.. im gonna try rubberbands, try it too and i will tell you how it worked for me.. but for now, believe me stop doing it and grab the rubberband..

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