Re: Everything Just Goes Wrong...
Hi, I just had to reply to you. I'm sure a little relief has come just by writing out how you feel. Your post oozes so much pain and sadness. And also the love you had for your unborn chid. An abortion may be a quick physical procedure, but it sounds like you haven't had any information regarding the mental impact it can have, especially on a person so young, with other problems to contend with too. Added to that, your physical ailment, a lack of understanding from your mum, (re your view on what was to done to you). I feel you've be dealt such a bad hand and no one has been there for you, to guide you through. Good work from your friend. She must be your 'rock' right now. You are grieving the baby you should have had. It is allowed (and nothing to be ashamed of), regrdless of how the circumstances came about.
I hope you gain the strength to consider seeing someone regards how you feel. (I'm middle aged and was scared of seeing a therapist, but I got there eventually and I have no regrets whatsever). I'm sure you know drinking merely prolongs the length of your misery and confusion. Try not to bottle it all up, it causes unending misery.
Keep posting. A day will come when you won't be AlwayzBroken123.