"seeing blood makes me feel alive
ive never felt real,
i wanna be a normal person
who doesn't have to slice themselves to feel something
idk what to do"
If I could give you a great big hug I would, darling!! I read this part of your post and it really hit home for me. You just have to fight the urge to cut. I know it's easier said than done, but in a sense, it's all you've got. Self Harm is a learned coping mechanism; one that with time, help, and support from loved ones you CAN overcome. Just stay strong!!!
I know how you feel...it's rather strange isn't it, how bleeding out, the thing that can easily kill us, makes us feel alive and that we actually can make it through the pain that we're experiencing at that particular time. Life sucks...alot...and we never quite figured out how to cope, except for that one little coping skill, that is son incredibly not right. I guess we just all have to keep each other strong. Remember just take it a day at a time, and if that's too long, then an hour at a time....hell there's been days where it seems like I go minute by minute.
If you're interested I have some alternative coping skills that I could share with you, just let me know. And remember, we're all here with you, just give a yell and we'll be there.
first big hugs i know how you feel but you are normal sweetie please dont think you any dif to anyone else we are all human and have feeling and the way we deal with those feelings and the over whelming hurt, pain etc is to much some people cry, get angry, write, take it out on others but its relasie and its what you need
how long you been on the meds? have they thought of changing them that might help?
i agree, can you talk to pdoc about changing meds? it takes time to find the right combo because this disease minifests itself so differently in each of us. try to trust that you will find the right help for you. will be thinking of you. please don't feel alone in this.