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Old 01-19-2009, 08:32 PM   #1
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tmv30 HB User
any suggestions?

I have a 14 year old son who is starting this. I go lock the 2 of us in the room alone so we can talk( away from my twins) He told me that he does this it was around christmas and i have not seen any marks until 2 days ago. I am going to call about counseling tomorrow but i was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions or what i should watch for?

Thank you so much i am VERY scared and would like any help i can get.

 
Old 01-22-2009, 03:26 PM   #2
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AngryNsad HB User
Re: any suggestions?

Don't force him to go. Ask... my mom made that mistake and I lied... I didn't want help. If he doesn't it will only make him more frustrated. Try to find out why he does it. That will help a lot towards prevention. Regardless it's out of your hands... I know as a mother it is devastating... I was the same age as your son when I told my mother. Don't blame yourself and be UNDERSTANDING! Empathetic!!!

 
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Old 01-22-2009, 06:13 PM   #3
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: any suggestions?

I guess I can throw in the view of a mother who "does this" as you say. You can't force him to get help, if you do he'll self injur himself more. You can't take away his "tools" or keep anything sharp away from him, if you do he'll try harder to prove to you that he can get to them or find them or that he is in control. Asking him if he wants to go to counseling is great, and if he'll go that is awesome. But this isn't something you can force someone not to do unless they are ready to stop. I know this is not what you want to hear but sadly enough it is the truth. My husband spent so much time trying to force me not to cut myself and it just made it so much worse, the anger, the stress, the anxiety...all of that extra "stuff" he was causing made the need to cut myself so much stronger. He'd take my knives, I'd go buy more, he'd do it again....it finally got to where I had them hid all over the house, car, office you name it.

I guess the main thing you can do is be "there" for him try not to appear "sickened or disgusted" by the self injuriuos behavior and just love him.

K

 
Old 01-27-2009, 08:33 PM   #4
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fizz331 HB User
Re: any suggestions?

Have you spoken with you son about talking to someone? its good that you have gone on here to talk about it and not freaked out on him like most parents do i hope hes ok please keep us posted and if there is anything we can do you know where we are

 
Old 01-28-2009, 05:38 AM   #5
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irishwriter HB User
Re: any suggestions?

i would suggest talking to professionals yourself to see exactly what you can do to help your son. if you've never dealt with anything like this before it must feel like wandering around in the dark. his shool might have a good counselling system in place, you could check it out and make sure it is discreet if he will agree to it. the most important thing, i think is that he knows you are on his side absolutely regardless and available to help him in any way you can. there are lots of books that are helpful in this regard too. it may help him to know that he's not alone in this. teenagers tend to be unable to see outside the world they occupy in their own space so he may be in panic mode about it all. my daughter hasn't cut but has been through major depression, panic attacks etc and with the help of reading, a good pdoc and talking to me has come out the other side of it for now and at least she no longer feels like a 'freak' for feeling like she did and realises now that a lot of her friends have been through similar things. empathy is a wonderful healer.

 
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