hi. i have felt this way for over a year now since last suicide attempt. i have found that the only way for me to keep going is to try to find landmark events in life to work towards, like my daughters show, christmas with the three children, my daughter's musical in which she has the lead (she's fifteen). immediate ones like next appointment with pdoc or even next phone call with pdoc. baby steps to each moment, hour, minute, delaying and diverting. hope this helps you. you sound like a good, kind,, person that people would definitely want to be around. thinking of you.
You really really are not alone. I was on Day 8 of not cutting and last night my husband whom I've been seperated from since Oct. came by and between that and the agitation from new meds that I started on Tuesday, I blew it. So now I have to start all over again. We all fail at times, but we can pick our selves back up again.
I strongly belive that you have it in you to kick this and pick yourself back up, just keep telling yourself that you can do it.
i dont know if i can go to my doc and tell him what i do in my head its like so i feel depressed and i cut and then im wondering does he want to see? and all these thoughts start racing and i start to feel so sick and round and round i go sorry
There is no chance, no destiny no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul
all i can say is please try. your doc will not look at your cuts if you don't want him too, you don't even have to mention them if you don't want to. you're the one in control of the visit. sometimes it helps to write down a list of things you need to ask doc and as i said maybe you'll get a referral to psychiatrist who can work out meds and diagnosis etc for you. racing thoughts are difficult to deal with and the resulting agitation can lead to cutting for release so if meds were presciribed for rapid cycling maybe things would improve vastly for you. thinking of you anyway and hope you feel better.
Last edited by irishwriter; 02-02-2009 at 01:29 AM.