Re: hope you dont mind my question...
Not a doc, so of course cannot diagnose you, but honestly yes, this sounds like a classic case of beginning self harm. Now what you have to do, is stop it before it starts. This is your best chance to get rid of something that you don't even need to start, okay?
I have BiPolar Disorder w/BP med resistant suicidal depression, so I understand those bad ups and downs. But you have to try and fight this, find another coping mechanism as opposed to harming yourself. I just posted a thread here on this board with some alternative coping skills, why don't you take a look and see if anything might pertain to you, 'kay.
Let us know if we can be of anymore help.
Keep talking and stay safe.