ok so i started cutting myself about 7 months ago. i talked to a friend about it recently and they convinced me to try to stop but my question is, can cutting be like an addiction? because sometimes i feel like i HAVE to do it. my friend keeps suggesting that i tell an adult and get help but im scared to tell my mom. can any one give me some tips on how to talk to her or even if i should. i could maybe stop on my own so i dont know.
Glad you came here at least for some support. Cutting or any form of Self Injury is genreraly a reaction to pain/fear/stress, etc. that we do because we didn't learn to cope any other way. Once you start it the urges can be addictive lilke, in that you will turn to cutting to handle your problems more and more, instead of the proper coping skills. Once a person starts cutting it is rather hard to quit, I won't lie about that. Definitely you should tell your mom, whether she has a clue or not as to what's happening I guess would depend on how close you two are, where you cut yourself, and how good you've been at hiding your scars. The thing that is a bit "unusual" about your cutting is the fact that you tell your friends. Most people who cut or SI/SH for emotional reasons hide it from anyone and everyone. Some people do these things for attention, which is absolutely not a good idea, because once you start if you don't feel its getting you the attention you want, you do it more and more.... So you really need to think about this...and talk to your mom about what your doing and why your doing it and perhaps get some professional help so that you can stop now before it really gets out of hand.
Yes, it is like a addiction. Because it feels good.. Therefore it will be hard to stop , and when you are feeling upset or stressed out , your naturally going to want to feel better , right?
The more you do it, the easier it becomes. It is better to stop self harming now, before it becomes harder to quit down the road. I promise you that the longer you continue cutting the more you will want to do this to yourself, and the more scars you are going to have, and the more noticeable it will be, and then someone is going to find out, and say something about it , then the 'secret" will be out Most people who self harm try and hide it. A lot of times peolpe who self harm do it because they can't express strong feelings, or they are depressed, angry or something . It is not a healthy way to cope with any feelings or strong emotion. It's better to quit doing that to yourself now. And let your mom know .
thanks for the reply but i think you misunderstood something. i dont go around to everyone at school and show them my scars, its nothing like that. its just that i wanted to see if talking about it would help me. ive been cutting for awhile and in the begining i had no plans on telling anyone. but the longer i cut the deeper it had to be to make me feel the same way and i was scared that i wouldnt be able to stop.
Nope didn't misunderstand, even with close friends the subject is taboo. I've been cutting since I was 13 and I'm 40....I hid it from EVERYONE successfully up until 1 yr. ago when my psychologist came out and asked me if I cut myself, that was the first time my secret was out, and I've been married to my highschool boyfriend for 21 yrs. I just told my husband last year around the same time. So, when we use self harm/injury as a way to cope we don't generally tell anyone, it is a very very secret act of coping because we never learned how to cope early on. I was molested by my father from the age of 9 through 14, and this is how I "coped". That's why I'm shocked that you've told your friends, even if only 1 or 2 and especially H.S. kids, they tend to have big mouths.
The one thing that I don't agree with Mscat on is the fact that everyone continues to cut or self harm because it feels good, it actually depends on why you do it. I never "feel" anything when I cut myself good or bad. I do it to see the blood, because to me it symbolizes the "bad, evil" stuff that's inside of me, leaving me and hopefully allowing me to be at peace. yeah, it never works, the crap is still there, but you always tell yourself, next time, next time it will work. The real pisser is part of the crap that I'm trying to get out is the fact that I run from the pain and fear that the monster did to me by inflicting "pain" on myself....so it's like this big hellatious hamster wheel that once you get it going to fast...it's very very hard to jump off. I see a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist that help me with this along with being Bipolar, I am on 6 different Psych medications and in a few weeks I have to start a DBT group therapy class specifically for the cutting, because in the last 6 months I've had to go to Urgent Care 4 times for stitches, and my cutting is reaching a dangerous level since I have BiPolar disorder w/med resistant suicidal depression...it wouldn't be to hard for it to go to far.
So have a long long talk with yourself and try to convince yourself that this is somethig you need to stop now before it takes over your life, because it will. Talk to your mom, yes she'll be upset at first, perhaps even a bit angry, but its because she's scared and worried....you really need to talk to an adult or professional about this.
people come here to talk. i dont see whats so taboo about telling one close friend about it. ive read some other posts and people are told that they should talk about it. talking about it did make me feel better. like someone cared enough to listen. and i havent cut for three days. that may not seem like much but its a big accomplishment for me.
Don't worry I won't say anymore about the other, your not understanding what i'm trying to explain, no biggey, it's not important.
The fact that you've went without si'ing for 3 days is awesome. Small goals are the way to go, one day at a time. What do you think, do you think you'll maybe be able to talk with your mom about it eventually, so you can get some help in stopping?
im really sorry for being so difficult. it just wasnt quite clicking in my head. and i think i will talk with her if i cant stop on my own. thank you so much for talking with me about this. youre great :]
I would also like to wish you the best. I know how difficult Self injury is to get through no matter how old you are. Talking about it with someone you trust, especially an adult is the best thing you can do for yourself. I am 40, and have a long history of this behavior. I am no stranger to it, and it is a very ugly thing to struggle with.
Continue to post here, and we will be here for you .
Keep us posted okay, and let us know how you're doing. We're always around.
Also if you aren't able to talk with your mom, and would like to try and handle quitting on your own..I posted a page of Alternative Coping Skills here on this board, you might try some of those instead of cutting.
Im Autumn im not sure how old you are but because you said adult im quessing your pretty young. I am 15 tomorrow and i am one of the yongest here. Talking to someone is very hard i have spoken to many people and trusted many who have let me down but finally i have found someone to trust it took me four years for that to happen and you dont know how happy i am.
It is hard though and without Healthboards and especially Kat it would not have happened. I hope you mum supports you because having close family would help something i miss out on. Good luck
Happy birthday! I'm also 15. I've only trusted one person with this and they are such a great friend to me. Whenever I feel like I have to cut I think about her and how sad she was when I told her. I don't want her to be sad because of me. These boards are helping me some too. I read Kats post on alternative coping skills and have tried a few. I don't think my mom would understand if I told her though. We don't have much communication.
so hou're you doing? Are you hanging in there, taking it a day at a time? I saw that you read through the Alternative Methods, that's a good start. If you ever cut because you're angry I have another one, that I actually have just started using, I take an empty pot and bang it on the floor or cupboard as hard as I can until I'm worn out. It works and I'm so tired I totally forget about cutting. Well just wanted to check in with you and see how you were doing.