Why do I want to cut myself - Self-injury Recovery Message Board

plc4 · 03-28-2009, 10:53 PM

I have been successfully resisting the urge to cut myself for about 6 months now. It's been really intense since December, every waking minute I think about it. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I know that I get addicted very easily to things that bring emotional catharsis. I know that if I think it's just one cut, after it, I will not cut again it won't work.

This is going to sound odd, but it's not a matter of poor self-worth/esteem. I think relatively highly of myself. I don't even really like pain, nor do I feel that I deserve it. I don't feel numb to emotion, either. I don't feel like I'm not real, or overwhelmed. Why do I feel this way? Thanks.

pendulum · 03-29-2009, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plc4

I have been successfully resisting the urge to cut myself for about 6 months now. It's been really intense since December, every waking minute I think about it. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I know that I get addicted very easily to things that bring emotional catharsis. I know that if I think it's just one cut, after it, I will not cut again it won't work.

This is going to sound odd, but it's not a matter of poor self-worth/esteem. I think relatively highly of myself. I don't even really like pain, nor do I feel that I deserve it. I don't feel numb to emotion, either. I don't feel like I'm not real, or overwhelmed. Why do I feel this way? Thanks.

Hi,

I don't know why this thought has occurred to me, but I should think it is your desire to be touched, but being expressed the wrong way, so to say.

mscat40 · 03-29-2009, 01:52 PM

Hi there,
I am certain that this is not your first time with self harm. Because of your thoughtful answers you asked yourself.
Remember that Self injur is used as a coping mechinsim. And it releases endorphines in the brain , which makes a person feel better. At least for a lttle while .That is why the urge is so great , and it is so hard to stop Self injury once started .AND, a lot of times it will not make sense to you at the time ..... anyway. It can just happen, so to speak. Kind of like, an impulisive act. you named off a few common reasons why people self harm , however there are several other more issues why. It is always personal, and a lot of times it can be unclear.
There is a self injury recovery thread on here too.

plc4 · 03-29-2009, 06:00 PM

mscat 40 - It is the first time actually...I've never hurt myself intentionally before. I'll look for that thread though.

pendulum - It's possible. Thanks.

Thanks to both of you for your responses. =)

reg12 · 03-30-2009, 02:32 PM

Hi plc4,
Mscat40 was very accurate with her statement. There can be several causes that can make you think this way that you are probably not aware of. Writing about this may help you and others with similar problems. I wish you well.