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Old 03-28-2009, 10:53 PM   #1
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Why do I want to cut myself

I have been successfully resisting the urge to cut myself for about 6 months now. It's been really intense since December, every waking minute I think about it. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I know that I get addicted very easily to things that bring emotional catharsis. I know that if I think it's just one cut, after it, I will not cut again it won't work.

This is going to sound odd, but it's not a matter of poor self-worth/esteem. I think relatively highly of myself. I don't even really like pain, nor do I feel that I deserve it. I don't feel numb to emotion, either. I don't feel like I'm not real, or overwhelmed. Why do I feel this way? Thanks.

 
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Old 03-29-2009, 12:50 PM   #2
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Quote:
Originally Posted by plc4 View Post
I have been successfully resisting the urge to cut myself for about 6 months now. It's been really intense since December, every waking minute I think about it. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I know that I get addicted very easily to things that bring emotional catharsis. I know that if I think it's just one cut, after it, I will not cut again it won't work.

This is going to sound odd, but it's not a matter of poor self-worth/esteem. I think relatively highly of myself. I don't even really like pain, nor do I feel that I deserve it. I don't feel numb to emotion, either. I don't feel like I'm not real, or overwhelmed. Why do I feel this way? Thanks.
Hi,

I don't know why this thought has occurred to me, but I should think it is your desire to be touched, but being expressed the wrong way, so to say.

 
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Old 03-29-2009, 01:52 PM   #3
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Hi there,
I am certain that this is not your first time with self harm. Because of your thoughtful answers you asked yourself.
Remember that Self injur is used as a coping mechinsim. And it releases endorphines in the brain , which makes a person feel better. At least for a lttle while .That is why the urge is so great , and it is so hard to stop Self injury once started .AND, a lot of times it will not make sense to you at the time ..... anyway. It can just happen, so to speak. Kind of like, an impulisive act. you named off a few common reasons why people self harm , however there are several other more issues why. It is always personal, and a lot of times it can be unclear.
There is a self injury recovery thread on here too.

 
Old 03-29-2009, 06:00 PM   #4
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

mscat 40 - It is the first time actually...I've never hurt myself intentionally before. I'll look for that thread though.

pendulum - It's possible. Thanks.

Thanks to both of you for your responses. =)

Last edited by plc4; 03-29-2009 at 06:01 PM.

 
Old 03-30-2009, 02:32 PM   #5
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Hi plc4,
Mscat40 was very accurate with her statement. There can be several causes that can make you think this way that you are probably not aware of. Writing about this may help you and others with similar problems. I wish you well.

 
Old 03-30-2009, 04:49 PM   #6
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Thank you, I have tried to think through all the reasons before I posted on here, but I can't seem to find anything yet. But I'm working on it. Thanks for the well wishes and the help. =)

 
Old 03-31-2009, 01:33 AM   #7
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Sometimes we find certain things are buried very deep inside of us, which makes them difficult or impossible for us to find when we look within. Please be careful as you work on it.

 
Old 04-01-2009, 05:53 PM   #8
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Thanks...and excuse me for my ignorance on this matter but what exactly should I be careful of?

 
Old 04-02-2009, 09:40 AM   #9
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

The feelings that you have or the voices that you hear are from within. I get feelings or see like a snapshot, but some may hear like a voice form. Some call it intuition. This is one of the ways that the mind copes with situations. Mscat40 talked about the reasons are of a personal nature. This is why the caution. Your looking could cause a reaction that may increase the problem you have written about. I hope this helps with your question. This is a very sensitive subject, so our responses are to try and prevent triggering a reaction from anyone that reads this message.

 
Old 04-03-2009, 07:12 PM   #10
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

Oh, I understand. Thanks for the response.

 
Old 04-03-2011, 12:13 AM   #11
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Re: Why do I want to cut myself

tonight is the first time in my ENTIRE 40 YRS that I thought about doing something that would harm my self in some way, either mentally or physically. Why? because of the emotional pain i've been feeling for the last TWO that I can't seem to stop.. my ex dumped me 2 yrs ago and is already engaged to someone else yet we were together for 11 YEARS..

i"m exhausted and need to get to bed, but that's why i thought about it.

I won't tho, because i hate physical pain but it's the only way I can think of to block it out. I wish I could cut that part of my brain out that makes me feel this way but I can't.

I'm calling a psych. tomorrow or monday, I need to get in to see someone ASAP.

 
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