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Old 05-13-2009, 09:59 PM   #1
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UKlover HB User
:( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Ok I know stupid of me to cut 4 times. Don't ask why it's for personal reasons. Well there on my left arm but not on the top. On the bottom with the rest of my scars. Well the 4 new one's are visible enough for anyone to see them if I move my arm in any way.

Well now I have a few questions:
1. How can I hide them?
2. Should I tell my parents?
3. Easy way to make it go away?

For one I don't want to put make up on them.
For two: I do not want to go back to the mental hospital

Please do not say "Well it's your fault now you've got to deal with it." or "Don't cut anymore" cus I say that it's an addiction but I am trying to stop.
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I'm a cutter and hate it. I admit I need help

 
Old 05-13-2009, 11:37 PM   #2
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Swamp56 HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Quote:
1. How can I hide them?
2. Should I tell my parents?
3. Easy way to make it go away?
1. Wear a long sleeve shirt
2. YES
3. Make sure you disinfect the wounds and put some anti-bacterial lotion on it

I really suggest you tell someone like your parents or a friend or counselor about the cutting. You can get help for it, and that's what I'm sure everyone wants for you.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:03 AM   #3
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goldfishie HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

I agree with telling your parents. It has made my life easier. I don't always tell them right away, unless I know it might need stitches or something, but eventually my mom always knows. If you have urgent care centers, like primacare or carenow in your area (some people call them doc-in-the-box places) I'd suggest going there if you need someone professional to look at them. They are unattached to hospitals so to send you to a psych unit they'd have to call an ambulance. Which I don't think they like doing. Not the place I go to anyway. When I go there they always ask my intensions, as in am I meaning to kill myself or just self injure. They ask if I can contract for safety for the next 24 hours or until I can get ahold of my therapist or p-doc. And they tend to be more willing to send you home if you have a parent with you. Sometimes they ask for a therapist or p-doc's number. So if you aren't seeing a therapist or don't have a psychiatrist, I suggest you get one. I am 24 and still living under my parent's roof while I'm in school, so it is nearly impossible to hide everything from them. My experience with my parents is that they are more concerned than mad or anything else. Anyway, this is probably a day late and a dollar short, but for the future...

Also, take care of your wounds yourself if you aren't going to see anyone about them. Buy the bandaids that fit best, or fit your needs (like waterproofing for example), even if they are more expensive. And buy antibactirial ointment; I like Neosporine. Some pharmacies even have butterfly bandages or steri-strips to help the edges of the skin come together. I clean it with anti-bacterial soap, like dial or softsoap twice a day. If it gets red or hot or ***** see someone.

Scars might not be on your mind now, but I know that when my wounds heal and I have scars, scars are a trigger for me. So I have to be really good about things healing with minimal scarring.

Anyway, I know that is a lot, but that is what I've been taught to do since I started SI-ing. I hope things work out and keep posting. or PM me. I check my e-mail all the time.

-Amanda

 
Old 05-14-2009, 12:49 PM   #4
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Hey UKlover,

Its a scary situation isn't it, not knowing what to do? I've been self harming myself for 27 years as a result of my parents, my father sexually molesting me and my mother letting him, so I had nobofy to tell. I just had to get 8 stitches on Sunday. As for hiding you cuts there are small ways to hide them wearing long shirsts and such, but there is no way to make them go away. As for telling your parents, if they are good people who care about you then yes, tell them I know it's hard to explain, but try in a polite non-confrontational way. Maybe one at a time, whichever your closest time. Another very important thing is to take very good care of the injuries, clean them with peroxide, put antibiotic ointment on them and keep bandaids on them until they heal.

You really should think of going to a therapist to have someone to talk to and get all the crap out of your head that makes you want to cut. There are also alternative coping skills that you can try and use. I have posted these on this board if you'd like to read them. The other thing is DBT if you can find a group in your area it is designed to help you learn a different way to deal with your distress as opposed to hurting yourself.

If you nedd to talk I'm pretty much always around.

kat

 
Old 05-14-2009, 06:39 PM   #5
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babsie HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

I used to cut but i could never tell my parents. my dad would just beat me for it. i have 6 huge scars on my upper fore arm. i live in FL so it is very hard to hide them because its always hot and long sleeves wont fly. if you dont mind me asking...what are the reason why you do it?? maybe i could help because i was in the same boat as you are about 4 years ago. i just bumped up from cutting to doing drugs and if you dont get help it will probably happen to you too. i saw a therapist for a year without my parents knowing. i paid out of pocket. it was expensive but all i wanted to do what get better. needless to say i dont cut anymore because ive substituted it with drugs. if you ever need to talk u can message me i want to help

 
Old 05-14-2009, 11:49 PM   #6
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UKlover HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Reasons why I do it:
1. Moltsted from ag 8 for 7 years (8-15)
2. Problems with family
3. Life in genral
4. Feeing like no one cares
__________________
I'm a cutter and hate it. I admit I need help

 
Old 05-15-2009, 01:46 PM   #7
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Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Quote:
Originally Posted by UKlover View Post
Reasons why I do it:
1. Moltsted from ag 8 for 7 years (8-15)
2. Problems with family
3. Life in genral
4. Feeing like no one cares
I am sorry to hear that but we have alot in common. i was raped at age 8 also. and it was someone that i looked up to all my life so i thought it was normal. and life in general.....i know what you mean....i got kicked out of my house recently, was homeless for a month, found out i had herpes and hpv, been to the ER twice because i suffer from bad anxiety attacks,i never eat anymore im down 10 lbs, i live off of nicotine and alcohol. this has been my life for 7 months now. i do have alot of people who care about me and i know it but that means nothing if you dont care about yourself...its good to have people to talk to but i really dont have that. i have guy friends that i talk to but they always try to get into my pants and it makes this mentally worse for me. being raped also, im sure you understand. life is supposed to get better but when its seems like it is i get another hard blow and it knocks me sown even further than where i was before. i do believe that everything happens for a reason i really do and i regret nothing that i have ever done or that has even happened to me. you know why? because i am still alive and that means im stronger than anybody else. i am not religious i am atheist actually but i strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. things like this happen to people like us because we can handle it. we can deal with the pain and yes one day the pain will go away. it may not seem like it now and no i havent experienced that yet but things cant be like this forever. talking really really helps. especially to someone that understands. i hope some of this sinks in and helps in some way. it might not just yet but over time you will realize i am right and that life IS worth living no matter what. i wake up every day and i'll admit i am a little angry that i did wake up for another day of hell but hey im gonna try and make the best of it. it may sound kinda crazy but i walk around with the biggest smile on my face 24/7 and just by physically smiling it helps ALOT i tell myself that today is going to be a great day and i smile and i never stop. it lifts the spirits of the people around you also. yes, i smile through the pain but every once in a while i will find myself actually smiling becuase i am happy, im happy because i made the people around me happy. it doesnt last long but it makes you fell good for a couple seconds and when you are so low those couple of seconds probably have saved my life a good handful of times. just stay strong and keep smiling =-) it is contagious!!!!!!!!

 
Old 05-15-2009, 06:01 PM   #8
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

I think we all have somewhat of a common story, I was molested by my father from 9 until 13, and then verbally from 14 until 16. The whole time my mom knew but she didn't care she loved to beat on me though that was her favorite past time. When my parents were divorced my mom would move in one scummy guy in after another.

I've cut for 27 years off and on. And for many years throughout my late 20's and 30's I never could remember why there was a big chunk of my childhood that I just didn't couldn't recall. My sister would say something about something that had happened to the family and I'd be like okay whatever. Then 18 months ago my mind decided to unlock itself and remember all the horrible secrets and awful memories.....and that's when my true horror story began. I had been dx'd BiPolar 20 yrs. ago so I alwasy knew about that, the knew dx's where the PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder and BP II w/severe med resistant depression. So I showed up at my GP's office nearly catatonic and she sent me to my current pdoc's office, he got me started on meds' and then after a month or so, when he got me stable enough to "survive" he sent me to a therapist that he had already been talking to about me. During this time the cutting had come back full force. I've had to go to the Urgent care for stitches 8 times in the last 9 months, the last being Sunday a week ago. I've tried to take my own life 9 times without success. And honestly feel like a totally worthless person who has no purpose on this earth. My difficulty is that I have a 10 yr. old son, so I am stuck here until he gets old enough to go to college and deal with death....but the self harm is bad right now, I'm in a DBT Group trying to stop, my therapist has said that if I don't stop right now she won't be able to work with me anymore....so even though we have a great relationship and I like her....I'm tired of the threats. They don't get that this isnt's something that you can't just say, "Oh i'll stop today, no big deal" So for now I dodn't know what to do, I plan to talk to my pdoc about this on Tuesday and see what his advidce is.

Okay so much for my book, I hope you both are doing well.

 
Old 05-15-2009, 08:54 PM   #9
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windimeria2000 HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Tell your therapist and parents. If you have been cutting yourself for awhile then it probably is an addiction by now. However, I know for a fact that cutting yourself doesn't take away mental pain or what ever the reasons you have.

 
Old 05-16-2009, 12:36 PM   #10
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: :( I just cut today 4 times and I don't know how to keep it from my parents..

Quote:
Originally Posted by windimeria2000 View Post
Tell your therapist and parents. If you have been cutting yourself for awhile then it probably is an addiction by now. However, I know for a fact that cutting yourself doesn't take away mental pain or what ever the reasons you have.
You're so very right, at most you get a few minutes relief and then everthing floods back. So you get your momentary bit of relief but all the problems are still lurking behind whatever choice of self harm you choose. So it is very important to find a good pdoc and/or tdoc to gelp you get through this. I have both and can tell you I'd have not made it this far without them.

Good luck with trying to figure out a path to travel.

kat

 
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