Originally Posted by pb1986
im so terrified to go see a doctor or therapist i just know in my heart there going to think im lieing to them or something just something will go wrong and i have told one person my ex girlfriend and she says dont do it thats pretty much the extent of it i just get so depresed and that makes me cut deeper i have cut once on my neck it brings tears to my eyes to say i liked it it wasnt big and i was very carefull but i just feel something bad willhappen later down the road and i dont know what to do i regularly cut every day in "my spot" and i dont really know why anymore i dont know if i forgot the reason or if its just habitual or im addicted or obsessed i dont know grrr it makes me furious and sad and stupid and ignorant
Your not stupid and ignorant, you probably are sad, and angry at yourself for not being able to control this on your own, that's normal, we all feel this way at one time or another.
Therapist: they do not judge, you have no reason to fear them, they will also help you deal with your actual fear of seeing one of them and the fact that you think they will judge you or think you do this for certain reasons that are not true....I really can't specify that enough. To stop cutting without professional help is almost impossible, you need someone to listen to you to help you pull out whatever is inside you that is making you do this and to help you learn alternative coping skills instead. I'm not a marketer for therapists I promise, but after 27 years of cutting, 9 suicide attempts, 8 trips to the hospital for stitches the last one being a week ago, I know a little about this subject. I've managed to quit over the years for periods of time even for a year of two at a time. But for the last year and a half my cutting has been escalated very much, and I hate for someone to start having the same bad problems. Without my therapist I'm not sure what I'd have done by now, but I know it wouldn't have been good. So Please consider this before it gets really bad, let a professional help you, esp. since you don't seem to have a support system at home that you can rely on